What does it mean to be Bi-curious?

Amie Wee Amie Wee on 19 July 2021    19 comments
Dice labelled to indicate bisexual people who like men and women

The best way to think of sexuality is as a big rainbow-hued spectrum. On one end of the spectrum, you have people who identify as 100% gay/lesbian, while at the opposite end, you have people who identify as straight or heterosexual. In the big, juicy, colourful middle, you’ll find a whole range of delicious persuasions, possibilities and sexual identities which include: queer, pansexual, asexual, demisexual, heteroflexible, bisexual, bi-curious and many more.

What does bi-curious mean?

While the concept of bi-curiosity is complex, nuanced and unique for each and every beautiful bi-curious babe to ever exist, put it simply, the word bi-curious refers to people who are interested in exploring their sexual and romantic attraction to people of all genders. 

According to Merriam-Webster “bi-curious” is defined as “curious about exploring or experimenting with bisexuality.” 

Typically, when people talk about bi-curiosity, they are referring to people who are (or were) heterosexual or straight, and are interested in hooking up with or dating people with genders similar to their own. When in fact people of all sexualities, including lesbian, gay and queer people often utilise the bi-curious label too.

While bi-curiosity and bisexuality are somewhat similar, bi-curious implies that a person might be asking questions about their sexuality without having all the answers yet.

When it comes down to it, you can have any sexual identity you want - no matter whether you have explored it romantically or sexually or not.

How do I know if I’m bi-curious?

Only you can know if you’re bi-curious, but a good indicator is that if you don’t think you are 100% straight, or find yourself actively sexually or romantically lusting over someone of the same or a similar gender, you might be bi-curious or bisexual.

For example, if you are a heterosexual woman who has only ever dated men, and you are suddenly struck with a glimmer of attraction to another woman that has you wondering what it’s like to have your head between her thighs, you might be deeply bi-curious. 

Why do some people dislike the term bi-curious?

The term bi-curious is often seen as controversial in the queer community for a couple of reasons.

Some people believe the term reflects a belief that to legitimately identify as bisexual means you have to have romantic or sexual experience with people of the same gender, which plays into bisexual invisibility and bi erasure. 

Put it this way, we never see the words lesbo-curious and gay-curious when we talk about sexuality, so by creating a label for a pre-stage to bisexuality but not others, can feel bi-phobic to some people.

Sexuality is a personal thing

And while some people are averse to the word “bi-curious”, it’s the perfect fit for others so who is anyone to judge? Sexuality covers a broad spectrum and is deeply personal. It can be very confusing and take time to figure out the sexuality that fits you best.

While bi-curiosity might be a short-term thing for someone who needs to explore their sexuality before they decide to commit or come out as bisexual or another label, others might continue to identify as bi-curious for eternity.

Sexuality has different meanings for different people and ultimately, only you get to define who you are attracted to and how you identify. You should feel comfortable to choose what label feels right for you, or choose no label at all. You might find that the label changes over time, or you change your mind - and that’s okay! That’s for you to decide. 

How do I meet other bi-curious or bisexual people?

When it comes to meeting other bi-curious and bisexual people, Adult Match Maker is the number one adult dating site in Australia. In fact, one Adult Match Maker survey that interviewed 7600 sexually adventurous Aussies showed that 36% of females on the site said they identified as bisexual.

Adult Match Maker was also the first Aussie adult dating site to add lots of LGBTIQ+ friendly gender identity and sexual orientation options, making it inclusive for bi-curious and bisexual dating.

Whether you’re looking for friendship with other bi-curious or bisexual people, hot dates or you’re seeking a relationship, every shade of the rainbow can be found on Adult Match Maker.

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Likes & Comments

Comments (19)

  • SurrealLife

    SurrealLife
    Account closed

    I like the term 'bi-curious' as it allows me to enjoy women while still preferring men. I could never be completely satisfied with one woman but I could be and have been, with one man. However, I couldn't imagine my life without the option of being able to enjoy women from time to time. I see the term 'bi-sexual' as meaning you could be equally happy with a male or a female as a long term partner.
    Does that make sense? I'd like to better understand the conundrum so please feel free to challenge my thinking.
    >4w
    • sexyfuntime4u

      sexyfuntime4u
      Account closed

      Similar to you, however I don't use the term bi curious to me it's a term that should be used for someone thinking about same sex play and not someone actively engaged. I too am bi however most definitely have a preference for women, should I label myself I identify as Metrosexual.
      >4w
    • SurrealLife

      SurrealLife
      Account closed

      Is there an equivalent term for Metrosexual for women?
      >4w
    • Jessica.Rabbit1

      Jessica.Rabbit1
      Account closed

      I’m the same. I’ll happily play with women (but preferably in a threesome with a man) but don’t want a relationship with one.
      >4w
    • Notsonewnow

      Notsonewnow
      65F Bar Beach, NSW,
       AU

      I agree with your thinking.
      >4w
    • SurrealLife

      SurrealLife
      Account closed

      I do find it challenging finding bi-curious or bisexual women on this site. I find my approach needs to be different to connecting with men. Or perhaps it’s in my head? I’m also looking for opportunities to be a third with a couple but that too is hard to find. Any insights anyone can share?
      >4w
    • allinmymind

      allinmymind
      61F Wodonga, VIC,
       AU

      There are a lot of women that are bi in the chatroom, the main one, you wouldn't have any trouble.
      >4w
    Reply
  • Ifuwannadome

    Ifuwannadome
    61F Hobart, TAS,
     AU

    im not bi or leso or any other term, im just playful lol.........
    >4w
    Reply
  • NaughtyCple64

    NaughtyCple64
    64M 61F Mapleton, QLD,
     AU

    We both have tried a little Bi play and it did nothing for us, we can say been there, done that, with no desire to experiment further. But still have fun knowing what we like.
    We think Bisexual tendencies are predetermined in our DNA before we are born and which ever side of the fence you are on it needs to be respected rather than the thinking "lets try to convert" or No doesn't really mean No if its girl bi girl play.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Notsonewnow

    Notsonewnow
    65F Bar Beach, NSW,
     AU

    I prefer the term bi curious to bi sexual. Even though I have a couple of amazing new girlfriends, who I see regularly. Full on relationship with a female never, that would only ever be with a male. Am I in denial?
    >4w
    • allinmymind

      allinmymind
      61F Wodonga, VIC,
       AU

      You were a little vague on the details of girlfriends, first I thought you just mean for sex. So you are saying you are in a kind of relationship with them but wouldn't make it public or share a house and responsibilities with them? A person very close to me decided that being sexually attracted to females made her gay. I am not sure I agree, but she has a separate living arrangement but a proper relationship with a female now.
      >4w
    • Notsonewnow

      Notsonewnow
      65F Bar Beach, NSW,
       AU

      We have become great friends in and out of closed doors. Husbands/boyfriends not included. We do girlie things, coffee, lunch, apart from playing.
      >4w
    Reply
  • lveshoingaffect

    lveshoingaffect
    Account closed

    Im bi only will suck but dont play with guys alone only with a couple
    >4w
    Reply
  • nudistsex

    nudistsex
    Account closed

    It took me some time to decide I’m bi, am married happily, but still on occasions enjoy older men, younger do nothing for me, and must be shaved, so make sense of that.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Satinlover1978

    Satinlover1978
    46M Greenway, ACT,
     AU

    Similar to many of the other responses on here, I identify as bisexual - quite happy to, and very much enjoy, playing with males and females. I wouldn't ever be romantically involved with a male though. For me it's just a sex thing, I enjoy the body of males but not the mind.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Callmeany

    Callmeany
    57M Diggers Rest, VIC,
     AU

    I got courious after having mfm 3 sums I found I liked the feeling of us all together was intense and the more we got together the more things we tried
    We all enjoyed the experience and now I class myself as bi meaning I will have sex with a guy but I could only have a relationship with a woman
    >4w
    Reply
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