Swinging is for Every Body
Eva Sless
on 3 June 2021
20 comments
Stepping into the swinging lifestyle can be a little daunting at first, especially if you're not confident you belong, but the thing is, when it comes to swinging, almost everyone belongs and has a place, and it can absolutely change your life and your self image in the best ways possible! Yes, even if you're fat, because fat is not a bad thing nor is it anything to be ashamed of and it's time we started talking about that more.
Swing Out Of The Box
You see, swinging and other sexual lifestyles are full of people who step outside of the "normal" box society tries to put us in. The very rigid, cis-hetero box where everyone is monogamous and thin, and all the men have 4WDs and go fishing and all the women drink wine and laugh at salad ... Yeah, nah.
Not that there's anything inherently wrong with fishing or drinking wine, but real life is actually far more diverse and interesting and, if you're so inclined, one of the best places to go and meet and find the sort of people who will accept you is a swingers party.
But I'm Too Fat To Swing
Nope. Stop. Fake news! When it comes to sex, sexuality, sexy times, and sexual fantasies there is no size limit. Forget what those magazines and TV shows tell you. Seriously. Every single person in the world is different and likes different things and you, no matter who you are or what you look like, will be someone's cup of tea. The thing is, big bodies are gorgeous. They truly are! There's butts and boobs and bellies and jiggly thighs and all the good things that make humans sexy and fun and delicious, and there are plenty of people out there who desire it. Just jump onto something like Instagram and search BBW or BBW Swingers and you'll see just how gorgeously popular and delicious larger women are.
Not Just Fetishism
Yes, I know. There are definitely people out there who fetishise certain body types and nationalities etc and it can be a little uncomfortable for people just wanting to be accepted for who they are and not placed in some sort of "porn expectation" bubble where the only thing interesting or desirable about them is their shape. For the most part, however, this sort of attitude doesn't come into the swinging scene as much as outsiders may think it does because open-minded, sexually free people see humans as far more than holes and status symbols, and are far more accepting of the differences we all have. I also understand that so many women on the larger side of body shape have spent their lives being the butt of a joke. The fat friend. The fatogram. The "take one for your mate" choice... But again, this commercialised, glossy magazine, cis-het "no fat chicks" bullshit is not at all representative of the swinging (or indeed almost any other sexually open lifestyle) world.
Check Out the Swing Lifestyle For Yourself
If you're a bit sceptical I get it. It can be incredibly hard to unlearn the ingrained lessons we never realised we'd been taught, but I absolutely guarantee you, if you take the step and start your journey into "Swing Land" you will be surprised at what you thought it would be like compared to what it actually is, and I dont mean jumping straight into a full play party either. Check out member hosted meet and greet events for Adult Match Maker members and Newbie Nights a lot of the clubs and parties offer. These are mostly fully clothed, non sex, non play events that cater to newbies like you. The "not too sure but curious about it all" person who wants to know what it's all about, meet some people who are into the same stuff as you, but who doesn't necessarily want to get right into it straight away. (Some of the Newbie Nights can start off as non sex with a view to play later, which gives you the choice of whether you'd like to stay and play or go home and come back another time).
I promise you there will be fat and thin, old and young, black and white, trans and cis and everything in between, and you will start to realise that so much of your self consciousness and resistance has everything to do with how other people have made you feel, and actually nothing at all to do with anything about you whatsoever.
You're Sexy Because You're You!
It really is important to remember and know that you are sexy because you are you. Because of your body, mind, and soul. Because of that sexy squishy bit of thigh that pops out of the top of your stocking. Because of your laugh. Because of the way your eyes glint wickedly when you speak of naughty things. Because of so many things. Everything about you is desirable not in spite of, but because of everything you are, which includes, but is not limited to, your shape and size.
Trust me. I know. I've been in and around the swing lifestyle scene for over twenty years. I have been both BBW and not so BBW in that time, and have also played with and dated plenty of BBW in my life, and I've always had a great time, a sexy time, and a boost in confidence I would sell in a bottle and become a millionaire if I could.
Swinging isn't a body type, it's a way of life, and one that incorporates and accepts all of us, no matter how big or small or anything we are. Swinging really is for every body!
20 comments
Password67
More than a month agoSuch a great article. I really need to believe this of myself - hard to believe when you've been body shamed your whole life by society. Would love to experience the swinging scene to meet sex positive people who are accepting of body, age, race etc. If only I could convince my husband to join me.
Replyrwp9966
More than a month agoI love love love this Eva ... and I hate labels like BBW ... I'd just hate to think someone is missing out on being a swinger coz they are body conscious, girls of a larger figure are so very sexy ... take from me the more curves the better ... get your groove on girls, and if you are nervous dont be it about fun, and great orgasms LOL
Replypar1510
More than a month agoI’ve been in the scene for a few years now(2 and bit years) I’ve met people in all shapes and sizes. personally I’m a large person that does a lot of weight and I try to stay fit for the most part but I find people from all shapes and sizes interesting if they make me laugh and have a good sense of humour
ReplyWayno888
More than a month agoI joined AMM to have a go at swinging with my wife, she is a cancer survivor and has been left scared and in a bit of a mess, we are concerned how accepting the community will be.
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ReplyKinkyGirl101
More than a month agoIn my experience they will be very accepting. Both the kink and swing communities aren't as focussed on body image as you would find at other parties. We know we all have our imperfections and it's more about making a social connection which hopefully will lead to a sexual connection. Also no one is telling you that you have to get naked. Yes there are parties which require a certain dress down but fishnet body stockings, lacy bras and corsets can all help us "hide" our perceived imperfections until we feel confident. She might just be surprised at the boost it could potentially give her confidence. But baby steps.
Zamboon
More than a month agoGlad to see bbw women are encouraged to go along - a friend of mine is skinny as and he has a "fat fetish" not sure if thats pc but there you go!
ReplyOn another angle - I notice that there are a lot of womens profiles who say "no overweight guys please" - funny that if the guys said that about women on their profile they would be called out!
SSW800
More than a month agoTotally agree..
As a BBW who’s a size 18 to 20 who started swinging about 4 years ago..
I can categorically say.. size does not matter in the swinging game..
I started with extreme trepidation and very quickly discovered that contrary to popular belief, in actual fact a large proportion of the male population actually dig fun, sexy, naughty, curvy girls ..
Get out there and into the most fun you’ll ever have.. don’t let self doubt stop you!
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ReplyGuy4fun68
More than a month agoYep agree with you well said
StraightSwap4u
More than a month agoWhilst swingers parties aren't personally our cup of tea, I've found some occasional hotwifing to be really good for my self-confidence/body positivity. Hubby also loves it and it's really benefited our marriage so much. I actually feel like I've become less fixated on my physical attributes (including my self-perceived flaws), which is interesting given the very sexual nature of what initially brought us here. Definitely emotionally empowering above the physical for me, and in turn, us.
Replyg4moon
More than a month agoEvery one has to enjoy it..not about body as it is about mind
Replymrgstring
More than a month agoI’m 60 and you often see events listed with an age limit.
We mature people are horny too!
*sigh*
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ReplyZamboon
More than a month agoTrue - I registered to go to a party in Brisbane and was told its for under 50's - i said oh thats a pity I eas going to bring a gf with who was a year older than me - on that basis we were allowed - she had more stamina than anyone else there - and dealt with 6 guys who in the end were spent!
Ifuwannadome
More than a month agonobody should be body conscious.......I hate all this body image garbage people go on abt.....dont criticise other people....just enjoy life peeps
The more people the better I say, I can multi task very well lol
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Replymrgstring
More than a month agoFair call, but as I mentioned, what about age?
hornyfriend421
More than a month agoThanks for the article.
This is a huge reason why I don't go.
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ReplyHotstuff2211
More than a month agoSame hornyfriend .it's hard to break the ingraining of years..of bullying and fat shaming.. although I have been told the same as the article..it's hard to step over that line..into the unknown...
Fuckudeep129
More than a month agoYes, i believe swinging is for everyone, regardless of age or nationality, it's fun and exciting and experience
Replyphoenix1323
More than a month agoYes! All of this! Before entering the lifestyle I had poor body image issues of myself, and through the lifestyle I’ve gained so much confidence, being a bigger gal. And honestly, I’ve never had any issues with finding people to connect with.. and they’ve certainly not had any issues with my body ;)
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ReplyStraightSwap4u
More than a month agoHow wonderful! This is as it should be.
flamincrazy
More than a month agoWe all have different bodyies which people like to share, that's the beauty of swinging
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