Love it or hate it, your guide to 69s
Eva Sless
on 12 February 2020
47 comments
We've done the sums and a LOT of Adult Match Maker members mention 69ing as their fave sex position (more than doggy and cowgirl combined) but for others it’s just not their thing. So here’s what to love and hate about the good old 69 and how you can learn to love it.
If you’re anything like me (a Gen X-er who watched alllll the pop culture in the late 80s and early 90s) probably the first time the number 69 came into your understanding as something other than “just a number” was when Bill and Ted smirked it out to their past selves in their Excellent Adventure… It wasn’t long after when I learnt exactly what it meant and why the cinema erupted into giggles when they said it, and I became absolutely fascinated by the idea of it for many years…
Well that is until I tried it.
69 Duuuude
Wow. Talk about a mess of elbows and wobbled balance and choking on pubes and nah, wait, stop, that’s the wrong angle, and fuck I’m choking… And omg is my butt-hole right on his nose?? And am I gonna suffocate him?? And where the fuck do I put my body weight, and keep balance, and still concentrate on not only enjoying what they’re doing to me, but making sure they enjoy what I’m doing to them…. And you know what… This isn’t working, let’s do something else.
Yeah, 69s, for the most part, are not always easy. While they are often a staple in porn and erotic stories, in reality they can be really tricky to work out and maintain and, to a lot of people, sometimes seem to be not really worth the effort… But they really can be, you just have to improvise and play around until you get it right, and follow some of the following tips.
Forget Porn
Look, as we say a lot in this blog, porn is an amazing art form and sex accessory, but it should never really be looked at as educative or as a how-to manual. The sex you see performed on screen is done for its visual appeal which often doesn’t translate well into real actions. For example, continually deep, hard, thrusting penetrative sex is awesome to watch… But is not always awesome to experience or keep up with, and the same goes for a lot of the visual depictions of positions like the 69. The angles and movements are all done to make sure the camera gets the best view of the action, and they are often super awkward and uncomfortable to hold in real life, so stop trying to emulate what you see, and start making it all about how it feels.
Forget Shame
This is mostly for the women out there. The “oh I’m too heavy” women. The “ew my butt’s on his nose” women. The “69ing is dirty” women… No. Stop. Shh. Shame has no place in sex! The person asking you to put your genitals on their face wants you to do that. They are thinking of nothing but your deliciousness and your scent and the mutuality and sexiness of the act. You will not suffocate them. They don’t care about your butt-hole (or they may want to eat that too), and while it may be considered a little bit “dirty” in the sexy sense… It is most definitely not “dirty” in any bad or shameful ways. Letting go of our internalised shame and self doubt is definitely not an easy thing to do, but understanding that your lover wants nothing more than to be immersed in your sexiness is a really great first step.
Get Up Close And Personal
One of the most uncomfortable things about 69ing is maintaining the position, especially when you’re the one on “top”. Your knees and back can get a bit strained and there’s always the risk of an elbow slipping and you falling face first into their crotch…. But so much of that comes from being a bit tense and unable to properly relax (see above issues), so it really is time to just let go. Sink your body into them and let them pull you close and take that balancing strain off your body. Trust me they love it, and they will absolutely let you know if it’s too much or not the right position for them.
Side By Side And Up And Down
As above, the positioning of a 69 can be one of the things that turns people off trying or doing it for a longer amount of time, but there are actually so many different ways you can achieve this position without anyone having to get uncomfortable. Lying side by side and just moving a leg a little bit over their shoulder can be one way to achieve a more comfortable position, as is the creative use of pillows. Having the “bottom” person’s head and shoulders raised can also give whole new angles and sensations too. Experimentation and practice and having a bit of a laugh about it all are all conducive to a good, healthy sex life so don’t worry that you’re a bit clumsy and awkward working it out… It’s all part of the fun!
Accessorise
Distraction is, unfortunately, a super big part of 69ing, meaning, if what they are doing to you feels amazing and orgasmic and oh so good, you often get a little bit caught up in that sensation and moment and forget you are also supposed to be sucking, or licking, or playing there too. While it’s awesome, and a hell of a compliment, it can also be a little frustrating to be right into something and it suddenly stop in the midst of incredible pleasure…. So why not add a little sex toy or accessory into the mix. Things like cock rings or tight oral sex sleeves for penises, vibrators or dildos for clits and vaginas, and butt plugs or beads for butts. Having a little extra something down there during those times of (albeit a complimentary) lack of action can really help. Insertable toys with remotes are excellent as you can play without having to get your hands down there in the way of their mouth, and some clitoral toys (like the We-Vibe) also work super well hands-free.
Stop worrying and have fun!
Like with all sex and sexual fun, the most important part of it all is the enjoyment. How it feels, how you feel, and how your partner feels. Having fun playing around and working it all out really is all part of that fun, and the more you can laugh and trust each other with things like intimacy and butt-holes in your nose, the stronger and more satisfying your whole life will be.
But on the other hand, if it turns out in the end that this position is one you or a partner just can’t enjoy or get into then that is okay! Like, more than okay! There are heaps and heaps of other things you can do to enjoy yourselves. Yeah it can suck a bit if you want to do something your partner doesn’t, but in the great scheme of stuff, let it go. Find something else to do and continue the fun and orgasmic bliss.
And as always, we would love to hear from you… What are your tips for the best 69ing?
47 comments
BareNakedLady73
More than a month agoLove oral. Not a fan of 69ers though - and would never consider one with a casual partner.
ReplyIt's an ultimate act of intimacy.
The reason I'm not a fan as such is that I personally take pleasure in concentrating on sucking and licking a cock.
I also find that unless totally relaxed and comfortable with someone that I can't let them get that intimate with me so when it comes time to having my good girl looked after, I prefer her to have the attention she needs lol
seamus4768
More than a month agoMmm love a 69 . Delish
Replytranssuzie555
More than a month agoIf you enjoy oral then you may like 69.
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoLove both
sensatiate
More than a month agoFunny how some women lose "concentration" doing more than one thing at a time. I thought they were the queens of multi-tasking :)
Meanwhile, as a mere male I don't seem to have much trouble at all with 69. Was a good year that one...
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoUsually the things we women are "multitasking" aren't sexual or pleasure related. You'll find that's it's probably work/children/homework/housework/cooking related!
sensatiate
More than a month agoFair comment DD. Because I can't vacuum and cook at the same time without my brain exploding I find it's safer to do neither of them.
Princess74l
More than a month agoSome pf us are great ,and I excel at multitasking
LisaJohn4u
More than a month agoFrom a guy's point of view - well at least this is from my personal point of view. I may get howled down but here goes. I absolutely looooove to lick a pussy, whether it's 69er or cunnilingus. I take the same course of action with both. I find that if I focus on her enjoyment, not too hard and not too soft but just right. I don't want to use my facial bristles as a grater so I shave beforehand and then I'm nice and smooth. I don't like to be too repetitive like round and round and round and round etc. I find that it's best to mix it up, tease the clit, go away from it and come back to it. Don't forget about the labia and vaginal opening. Listen for the signs of delight. My whole focus is on giving pleasure. When that's my mindset it seems to work. If it's a 69er I still keep the same focus as cunnilingus. I like to keep going until I'm pulled away for penetrative sex or until she cums. Mmmmm love that! Oh and I might be fussy but I like to start with a nice clean pussy - not too keen on the taste of urine. I make sure that my little man is squeaky clean too. :)
ReplyKookaburra66
More than a month agoi enjoy and love a 69 ,i find that it gives great acess to my partner .i love being so close to both pussy and ass and i enjoy as you said my partner sinking or melting into position .the visual and aromas are fantastic ..if you dont like it you are missing out .try it one more time .
ReplyMr.Joshua
More than a month agoSome people. Hate. 69?
Hate?
Thats too bad.
Thanks for writing this, maybe Some folks will be encouraged to give it give it a try.
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Replyallinmymind
More than a month agoyeah it is shocking. Who knew.
friskypuz
More than a month agoCan depend on who's on top, how horny your feelings and how good they are.. But it can be distracting, yet fun at the same time
ReplyHelway
More than a month agoSide by side 69 is our new fave, gives the both of us a little more personal space and one can move around a little more when turned on, simple switching between vagina/anal, easy access to rub buns and legs etc with the spare hands and can last alot longer because of ease of position.
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ReplyWhitelilly11
More than a month agoWe totally agree with you playmates58.
We love our foreplay and this mostly involves laying on our sides sucking and licking. Its most pleasurable , especially when theres been an absence of sex.
zamale
More than a month agoWell I lived in house #69 on the street and when I finally managed to entice my neighbour over (in my teens) - I introduced her to the joys of 69's and sex.
ReplyWhat an experience it is - from a guy's perspective - you get to see, feel and play with your woman in an amazing way. It's particularly great, feeling her body respond to what you doing as you suck on her clit or dart your tongue into her moist opening.
Would love to meet a lady on AMM that would like to experience the JOYS OF 69...
**cosy**
More than a month agoI may be female but with sex I cant do 2 things at once.
If I'm going down or vice versa I want to be able to give/receive 100%.
Can't do one when concentrating on the other.. ;S
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ReplyIVAONE60
More than a month agoHi Cosy yes I'm with you I like to give a lady 100 percent attention by linking her to orgasim and receive 100 percent attention. I do love a good 69er aswell
SteveFoster72
More than a month agoTrue, but sometimes it's not about orgasm, it's just about having fun :)
Bbbender
More than a month agoI agree Cosy
Need to be able to concentrate on doing it well
sexintheday
More than a month agoYeah, I often have to tell him to stop licking me because I cannot concentrate on what i am doing to him
ReplyDony401
More than a month agoHaving a 69 with a horny lady is one of the most erotic things you can have, sometimes it is a bit of trial and error , but the sensation is fabulous for both, the trouble is finding enough women or couples to participate it with, I would like to have a 69 every week if possible
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoTwo guys 69ing is such an awesome experience, especially when you both cum at the same time!
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More than a month agoMad, would like to try that some time...
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More than a month agoAnatomically it's perfect for you guys! And I can imagine how awesome it would be to come together. I do find it a bit distracting as I just love to suck cock & want to focus on that, but side by side is definately the most comfy for me. Have fun!
Princess74l
More than a month agoI love this article,69ers are sweet as in the right settingl
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ReplyBelmont760
More than a month agoPrincess I'd 69 you any day x .
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More than a month agoShe is nice and I would love to do the same with her
Princess74l
More than a month agoReally!!!
allinmymind
More than a month agoAnd what setting is that?
Princess74l
More than a month agoWithout interruptions
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More than a month agoIt would be lovely with no interruptions 1to 2 hours of fun with no interruptions
Princess74l
More than a month agoYes it really would be
Princess74l
More than a month agoMmmmmm
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More than a month agoGo Princess!
sexintheday
More than a month agoCan’t believe there are those that aren’t driven crazy with the lust and excitement of a close up visual of your lover with her butt in your face. I find nothing more exciting than this magnificent activity shared by two people
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoLove her butt in my face. When given the chance I love to probe it too.
1plusyou
More than a month agoNothing nicer than going down on a sweet tasting sweet smelling Lady ,To me the Lady is the mist important person in any relationship
ReplyIfuwannadome
More than a month agoLov it
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Replyhillsfun109
More than a month agoAbsolutely
excasy5
More than a month agoWould love to 69 with you babe
trusted8
More than a month agoThanks for initiating the conversation of 69'ers ....something I have enjoyed and tried to encourage my partners to be involved in. There seems to be a little resistance to partaking in this especially if the relationship is new. Women are very self conscience with themselves and reluctant to try....whatever the reasons. And yet, women love pleasuring a guy by giving him head...go figure!
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoMen with hairy or smelly butts, farts (him OR you!)
AND YES! If he gets me going I squirt... been told off for that... or else I can't... con..sen....traaaa... *aauuhhhh*
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More than a month agoRight with you LadyDragon x
logical01
More than a month agoGot it in one. Well done.
ReplySweetestSins
More than a month agoIt’s wonderful, I don't really understand what people find difficult with a 69. One hand between their legs to hold your body weight and balance yourself and your mouth and other hand free to explore... simple ;)
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoI have never had a problem either, till l broke one arm, that makes it a tad difficult to play properly