Yes women can orgasm in their sleep!

While we’re familiar with men having wet dreams, the concept of women having orgasms in their sleep is not as widely known or understood.

But we’ll let you into a little secret, they happen. And some women have them regularly. If you haven’t experienced it yourself I find it’s usually in a half awake / half asleep moment where I start to question is it happening and usually wake myself up to bask in the afterglow of an amazing climax. No vibrators or tongues or penises required. Just a good night’s sleep and a sexy dream sequence.

But what really causes nocturnal orgasms, how many women experience them and can you stimulate your body to have one?

Who has sleep orgasms?

Firstly if you google it you’ll find wet dreams referred to as sleep orgasms or nocturnal orgasms. All of these terms basically mean the same thing. 

We’re all familiar with adolescent boys whose wet dreams are both a source of pleasure and embarrassment. So I guess it makes sense that the most common terminology seems very male biased but they are definitely not restricted to guys.

A 1986 study which looked specifically at women found that 37% of the women in the study reported they had experienced a nocturnal orgasm, and 30% reported having had one in the past year. This is backed up by a study by Dr Alfred Kinsey in 1953 which found that 40% of women he interviewed had experienced one by the time they were 45. 

Similar studies suggest that 83% of men experience them but this may be because of the ejaculation “evidence” which just makes it easier to determine that it’s actually happened. 

This is why, for some women, it can be very confusing. Was it just a dream? Did I really orgasm? A small study in 1983 measured the physiological changes that occur when a woman orgasms in her sleep. They found that the heart rate doubled from 50 to 100 beats per minute, breathing increased and there was a very noticeable increase in vaginal blood flow. This gave researchers the conditions to determine if women experienced periods of arousal during REM sleep similar to men having erections in their sleep. You guessed it! Yes ladies we do! And they are usually just as intense as a waking orgasm which is why they often wake us up. 

What causes people to orgasm in their sleep?

Just to be clear there is nothing wrong with having sleep orgasms. They are not a sign that you’re a sex addict, that you’re not satisfied with your sex life or that you need more sex. Erotic dreams are perfectly normal and if they result in an orgasm then high five! If you have erotic dreams but it doesn’t trigger an orgasm – that’s fine too! 

There are a couple of schools of thought about why they happen and why some people are more susceptible. But given that orgasms are ultimately controlled by the brain and not totally reliant on physical touch it makes sense. Remember some women can just think themselves to orgasm.

Your genitals are more hyper-sensitive during REM sleep because of increased blood flow to our erectile tissue which for women involves the entire clitoral area. It makes sense that if you’re having a dream which is turning you on and your brain recognises that your genitals are full of blood ready to go that you may orgasm as a result.

In speaking to Bustle, dream analyst Lauri Quinn Loewenberg explained that our bodies don't distinguish between dreaming and waking states. "When we have a scary dream, our hearts race, and similarly, when we have a sexy dream, we get wet, and we just may orgasm. She explained that orgasms almost always result from sexy dreams. "While dreaming of sexual activity, the brain sends signals to our nerve endings down there that sex is happening. So, it reacts as is it really were happening: blood rushes to the vagina, it contracts and pulsates and eventually — ba da bing! You've had an orgasm."

It’s no secret that for women being turned on involves mental stimulation as well as physical stimulation. Jesse Kahn, a sex therapist and director of the Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center in New York told Huffington Post, “Basically, sleep is a wonderful environment that can facilitate orgasms. Often when you’re in a sexual situation in your waking life, your thoughts run wild: “Do I look chubby in this position?”; “Does she notice how sweaty I am?”; “What if he thinks I’m a terrible kisser?” But when you’re in the midst of a sex dream, you’re more capable of immersing yourself in the sensation of the experience, even if it’s imagined, without letting all of your real-world hang-ups get in the way."

Sleep orgasms can also happen because you’re more sexually open to exploring your fantasies and desires when you experience an erotic dream. 

But if you find that it’s easier to orgasm in your sleep than you do in real life you’re not alone with 75% of women admitting they can’t orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone and 5% of women never having an orgasm. So if your dreams turn you on you should keep a dream diary and explore what part of your dreams excites you and if it’s something you could incorporate into your sex life.

Can you make yourself orgasm in your sleep?

Unfortunately there is no way to guarantee a nocturnal orgasm but here are 10 suggestions you can try.

1. There is some evidence that men who ejaculate during the day may have fewer wet dreams so abstaining from sex or masturbation for a period of time might bring them on. It’s certainly been researched that lack of sex can heighten your dreams.
2. Sleeping on your stomach might help induce sleep orgasms because of the pressure of the bedding on your genitals and apparently people who sleep on their tummies are more likely to have erotic dreams compared to people who sleep in other positions. A Hong Kong study suggested that the increase in sexy thoughts could be because you don't get as much air when they sleep on your stomach, so it makes your unconscious brain imagine your body being constricted as a result of external stimuli.
3. Creating a sensual boudoir without clutter or electronic equipment can help you experience a deeper more relaxing sleep providing the perfect environment to bring on those sexy dreams.
4. Go to sleep cuddling with your partner because a naked body lying next to you generally means more cuddling which triggers the release of oxytocin, the hormone which increases your sex drive.
5. In our sleep we often try to work out and replay what happened that day so perhaps a day of thinking about sex might trigger an erotic dream that night.
6. Reading erotica before you fall asleep might help to put you in the mood, relax you and help those erotic dreams come alive. 
7. Science does know that the more sex you have the more your body wants so up the ante in your waking hours in the hope that you get more during your sleeping hours. Just don’t orgasm yourself out! 
8. Some dream experts believe that you can influence your dreams by thinking of a subject as you’re dozing off so when you go to bed run your hands over your naked body or wear that sexy lingerie and think sexy thoughts! But if you end up masturbating it’s going to defeat the purpose. 
9. Sounds and smells during the night also subconsciously influence our dreams so playing some sexy soft “music to fuck to” might subconsciously put you in the mood.
10. Perhaps just have sex before you go to bed. As your body calms down and relaxes after the intense physical activity and orgasm, you’ll enter a deep sleep quickly which is when those erotic dreams will kick in (hopefully complete with dream replays of the steamy action).  

Remember these are just suggestions which we’ve compiled from a whole range of sources BUT if they work please, please let us know in the comments. 

And while men experience nocturnal orgasms more when they’re younger, women tend to experience them more as they get older so if you haven't experienced one yet, there's always tonight!