Let's Bust Some Myths about Anal Sex

Eva Sless Eva Sless on 17 September 2019    37 comments
Photo of a ripe tomato cropped so it looks like buttocks

Anal sex is still a taboo subject, despite it being rather popular, and because of that there is a lot of misinformation and myths surrounding it that are just not true, and can actually be quite damaging to both mental and physical health if taken seriously. We break down some of them for you here.

Anal sex makes you gay

Well sure, if you’re a guy who enjoys having anal sex with other guys… Newsflash, you may be gay. But guys who enjoy booty sex with women or being pegged by their partner are, in fact, totally not gay. It’s an odd, very homophobic, line to draw and is on par with people who draw comparisons to gay marriage with people wanting to marry toasters, or even PETA accusing people who eat meat of wanting to barbecue their pets. It’s a ridiculous and lazy leap of logic that ignores every single other factor about sex and sexual orientation and just makes you look like a dickhead.

You need to enema or douche before anal sex 

While we do understand the merits of douching for anal sex, the actual fact of the matter is, for the most part it probably won’t make much of a difference at all. If you have a healthy, regular bowel, then your anal passage (give or take the half an hour or so before and after you poo) is mostly clean. Douching can be great for peace of mind etc, but overall, that gush of brown you get from douching is usually so far inside you, it’s only the pushing of water that brings it out and if you’d just left it, it probably would be okay. In saying that, it’s anal sex. The butt is where poo lives so it’s almost an inevitable factor that something may leak or smell a bit. Deal with it, or don’t do anal. Please also note that too much douching can actually be really, really bad for your colon and cause damage internally.

Anal sex is only pleasurable if you have a prostate

While yes, having the prostate stimulated can lead to incredibly enjoyable sensations and orgasms, it doesn’t mean that those who don't have one can’t enjoy the sensations of anal sex. The sphincter and passage are full of nerves and (if taken slowly and carefully and with loads of lube so as not to rip the delicate skin) can be intensely pleasurable for some people. Also, depending on the angle and the position, anal sex can also stimulate the G-Spot and vaginal wall and all the thousands of nerves and pleasure points around there. 

Anal sex is painful 

It can be painful, I’m not gonna lie. It can be downright uncomfortable for a lot of people. Some people will never enjoy it and that’s okay, and some people can learn to love it if they want to, and some just love it almost immediately. There are many factors that can lead to it being a painful and not pleasurable activity, but for the most part that’s often more to do with a mixture of technique,  preparedness, nerves, and not enough lube. If you find you’re in the category of people who don’t super love it but you’d like to, there are ways to assist you in your journey by using plugs and toys to get you used to it. These are usually in the form of an “anal training kit” - a pack of usually 3 plugs that go from super slim to thick to help you get used to it all. Check out your local adult shop for them.

You can’t get pregnant via anal sex 

This is an interesting one because of course, technically, there is no way for sperm ejaculated inside the anus to make it to your uterus via there… However there is this little thing called gravity… And quite often, if you stand up after sex (vaginal or anal) things tend to dribble out… And they dribble out onto your vulva… And believe it or not, especially if your vagina is well lubricated which it probably will be after a fun, sexy session of playing, that sperm can make its way up that lubrication, into your vagina, into your uterus, and make it all the way to an unfertilized egg. Yes it is rare, and yes it is unlikely… But it is not impossible and another reason to always use protection.  Also the fact that the anal passage skin is so delicate just one little tear will create an instant portal for STIs to get in is reason enough to always wear a condom.

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Comments (37)

  • trusted8

    trusted8
    64M VIC,
     AU

    Loved reading your article and I hope it gives some vital information to those who haven't experienced or ventured into anal play as yet. For a lot, it's a taboo subject and they will never know or experience those amazing sensations. Knowledge, timing and practice is key...especially from the giver.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Zamboon

    Zamboon
    66M Bridgeman Downs, QLD,
     AU

    I’m amazed at the number of ladies who enjoy anal sex - seems that it happens as they mature and it’s all about the nerve endings in and around the entrance a lot of gentle play at first and rimming with your finger and later if you trust each other then with your tongue and heavens above ! To a man the same I have a massage therapist who uses a gentle finger that drives me crazy... the full penetration? Not yet
    Ricky Gervais said a funny thing “ why is a mans g spot 3 inches up his rectum”? Maybe we are meant to enjoy it ... try it guys ..
    >4w
    Reply
  • MarcAsk

    MarcAsk
    Account closed

    Ribbed for pleasure! I read stats 9% of women actual enjoy it and 22% have tried in life time....
    >4w
    • AMM.Editor

      AMM.Editor
      Staff Account

      And when we surveyed women for our Under the Covers sex survey 45% said they get turned on at the thought of anal sex although to be honest looking at the figures for strap on sex, for a lot of the women it was about giving rather than receiving.
      >4w
    Reply
  • hollywood692

    hollywood692
    56M Cloverdale, WA,
     AU

    I love it. But more info needs to be out there so I can find someone who will make me orgasm. Only one guy in many have achieved this in 35 years. 1 orgasm in 35 years to simplify it.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Kirra1981

    Kirra1981
    Account closed

    Interesting.
    Thanks for the read.
    >4w
    Reply
  • gilbo3361

    gilbo3361
    64M Gold Coast, QLD,
     AU

    I for one enjoy anal receiving and I find it feel great and make me feel good.
    >4w
    Reply
  • BadMoodBunny

    BadMoodBunny
    35F Boondall, QLD,
     AU

    Loved reading the article but I have to disagree with you about douching.
    I have had anal with and without having douched and while it may not make a difference to some aspects like possible scents and the like, douching does actually make it more comfortable especially if he has a large endowment.
    As for douching being harmful for you, if you do it correctly it not as harmful as many think (I have spoken to doctors about it), enemas on the other hand are dangerous when done too often due to how far up they clean and what they take to do. I douche due to comfort, as even being prepped with stretching, lube and the like it can still be highly uncomfortable and cause issues if I don’t because the muscles are doing something they are not built for and if you are not cleansed it can actually cause pain due to impacting from muscle contraction and not allowing the proper movement.
    Everyone is different but I felt that your article was a bit slim on that aspect. I love anal sex and I have learnt these things over the time I have been playing.
    Sometimes it’s about comfort not about appearance or smell.
    >4w
    • AMM.Editor

      AMM.Editor
      Staff Account

      Thanks for your feedback. Sorry you felt the article was a "bit slim". It was never meant to be an in depth how to or different strokes for different folks. We've got heaps of articles which look at those aspects, some of which were embedded in this piece. Or you can search "anal" on the blog and get all the relevant pieces which we've posted.
      And regarding douching. A simple google search will invariably tell you that the risks far outweigh the benefits and advice on many gay sites is the safest way to prep for anal sex is to have a high fibre diet and forget enemas and douching. Douching isn't meant to be a regular thing you inflict on your body. We would rather err on the side of caution and present all the positives and potential negatives so our articles are balanced and factually correct.
      >4w
    • BadMoodBunny

      BadMoodBunny
      35F Boondall, QLD,
       AU

      And I respect that, I am just offering my opinion based on speaking to several different doctors about it myself.
      I will never say to douche everyday or that it is 100% safe, all I said is that when done properly it’s not as dangerous as many believe it to truly be, but many people also don’t realise that douching and an enema are actually different.
      People who enjoy anal sex also using douching at times for other reasons because even with a high fibre diet the body doesn’t always work the way it’s suppose to.
      But again I offered this based on the personal research I have done online and with doctors myself and everybody is different.
      >4w
    Reply
  • BBWmature

    BBWmature
    Account closed

    I hope that every guy on this site who put Anal Sex in their profiles read this article.......women get turned off cause guys are too rough & it ruins any chance of both parties enjoying it! All in the prep boys!!!
    >4w
    • ispywithmy

      ispywithmy
      40M Footscray, VIC,
       AU

      I think that would stem from an early age of watching porn where, seemingly no lubricant, or just a bit of spit and dive straight in at a million miles an hour.
      When in reality, those ladies are actually in pain, or there is something else at play (camera work, lube, they’re loose or otherwise).
      >4w
    • trusted8

      trusted8
      64M VIC,
       AU

      I agree and it often depends on how the couple involved are comfortable with exploring their options....Thats part of the enjoyment of discovery and sharing special moments together.
      Its a big ask, especially when the lady knows she has a perfectly working vagina. Maybe, the male can be penetrated first and then he would know what its like to be de-virgined. Just a thought.
      >4w
    Reply
  • Newiplaycouple

    Newiplaycouple
    Account closed

    Iam a lover of anal sex and can relaxed my hole quickly to take one or two cocks and men just love putting there dick in your bum girl ,, Chloe
    >4w
    Reply
  • SweetDesire26

    SweetDesire26
    56F QLD,
     AU

    Well done and I agree hope a lot of guys read the article cause they need to. didnt find the article slim at all. Just to verify and back you up douching is not good to do all the time and this is coming from a qualified nurse being me, and a anal lover . and you are correct your colon can be damaged by douching and internal damage.
    love your blogs and keep doing them please .
    >4w
    Reply
  • BareNakedLady19

    BareNakedLady19
    Account closed

    As most men will find - the nerve endings and the prostate are most sensitive and these are located no further than an inch or 2 inside the anus.
    This differs none for a female - with the exception of the fact we don't have that little walnut.
    So, the hot tip here is literally just that - a little goes a looooong way.
    Men have taken their view of anal from pornos and in doing so, think that thrusting their cock hard and deep into an arse is the absolute ultimate when nothing could be further from the truth.
    Also - a cock can only do so much to an arse so be creative!
    Oh and if you aren't a clean person - forget it.
    >4w
    Reply
  • KinkyGirl101

    KinkyGirl101
    50F QLD,
     AU

    Thanks for another great read Eva
    >4w
    Reply
  • Moondancing

    Moondancing
    70M Caboolture, QLD,
     AU

    Really interesting article.
    I agree with some of the comments about some guys being rushed to get all their dick inside a womans arse - it is not about that it is about both people enjoying whatever they are sharing.
    My late partner took quite a while to start to become comfortable with anal, a very slow process and it was really a little at a time with lots and lots of lube.
    That said when she became comfortable and confident about it, if asked her choice between vaginal and anal she would choose anal over vaginal about 60/40. She would also orgasm very strongly during anal, such that there is only one time a partner of mine has orgasmed so strongly that it felt that she was trying to buck me off!
    >4w
    Reply
  • maturemale

    maturemale
    76M Blakeview, SA,
     AU

    It's not easy to find a lady who is into it or willing to try.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Sumfunplz4usall

    Sumfunplz4usall
    Account closed

    I had to nag my partner to fuck my arse so i could experience it. He had done anal with previous partner and didnt take much too it... i was like a duck to water loved it first time round and has only gotten better and more pleasurable each time and what a perfect option when that time of the month comes... yes please.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Peachy4you

    Peachy4you
    Account closed

    Very great reading, I enjoy anal sex both ways as i have few anal anal sex toys my self including a strap on for the ladies that wish to peg me. I do spend some time prepping my anus before the showdown but what i find strange is that a real penis ( not a super hard raging rod cock "ouch" ) actally feels good inside my butt then these silicone sucton cup dildos , interesting though but i never force or thrust hard n deep inside somes butt i let them ease towards my penis until they are comfortable and start enjoying it. If theres an "OUCH" stop
    >4w
    Reply
  • Bostonup

    Bostonup
    Account closed

    I liked the read and i have been milked and peg by ladys and i love it
    >4w
    Reply
  • JackNP

    JackNP
    36M Surry Hills, NSW,
     AU

    Absolutely love giving. Men and women. Interested to explore receiving.
    >4w
    Reply
  • LifeIsTheHwy

    LifeIsTheHwy
    Account closed

    I myself haven't had anyone give me anal sex yet for the exact reasons some in here have said all they want is to stick it in a go hell for leather on you i enjoy my anus being played with i often gently rub my hole then get a finger or two in about a inch or two and just love it i have given anal to a women and also loved it slowly getting it in and out she also loved it as i slowly massage her hole then rimmed her for a bit got her lubed up. cheers
    >4w
    Reply
  • HornyXXXXXX

    HornyXXXXXX
    57M Thornlie, WA,
     AU

    Anal sex with a female is very pleasurable if done correct.
    >4w
    Reply
  • AndreaGraceTS

    AndreaGraceTS
    52T South Melbourne, VIC,
     AU

    Done right it feels amazing
    >4w
    Reply
  • Unmoderated

    Unmoderated
    Account closed

    I think the anal obsession is just a porn thing for most guys, so probably more about being demeaning.
    "Did you fuck her up the arse mate?"
    "She looks like she'd do anal"
    Don't get me wrong though, I understand that people would have a legit anal fetish.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Letsmeetup8484

    Letsmeetup8484
    Account closed

    It started intriguing me watching chicks peg the guy, so told the woman I was seeing I wanted to try it she said she did too so were on the same page, I had the best most intense orgasm of my life on my back with here Fucking me and jerkin me off til I came. Never had one like that before plus there's something hot as Fuck about her getting off watching herself Fuck me and making her hotter making her watch me jerk off while she fucks me and I love watching her Fuck me and being able to play with her boobs as well.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Moondancing

    Moondancing
    70M Caboolture, QLD,
     AU

    With my ex she ended up having a preference for anal although it took her a while to decide to try it.
    After she initially tried it with lots and lots of lube she said she felt much tighter there and when she was feeling like it she would go to bed a bit earlier than normal and use her vibe and lube on her arse so she was ready when I joined her in bed.
    The first time I came in her arse she was really surprised and asked me if I felt it!
    As she experienced more of it and it became her preference she would orgasm quite intensely and on one occasion she came so hard I thought she was going to buck me off her!
    Anal is not for everyone but for those that do like it it does seem very intense.
    >4w
    Reply
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