7 Things Pansexuals are Sick of Hearing
Eva Sless
on 1 October 2018
27 comments
Although it’s always been around, pansexuality is a relatively new term in the sexuality umbrella. Also referred to as omnisexuality it covers those people who find attraction sits outside of gender all together, and is all about the individual. Male, female, trans, gender fluid… It doesn’t matter, pansexuality is about attraction to people, but not everyone understands that, which can often bring out the ignorant and offensive comments like the ones below.
So You Fuck Saucepans?
*Hyuck hyuck hyuck* This one is as dumb a joke as the “I’m hungry” “Hi, Hungry, I’m Dad” crap but a hundred times more offensive. I mean unless you’re a fucking idiot you would know that, even if you don’t quite understand the term, it probably has very little to do with cookware. Take the time to learn about things you don’t understand rather than ridicule or make snide remarks. It reflects far more on you than anyone you’re trying to insult.
Is That a Kinky Fetish Thing?
Not necessarily. I mean sure, some pansexual people might also be kinky but it’s not a pre-requisite. Just like some straight people can be way into kink and other’s not so, it’s all about the individual. Pansexuality is about attraction which can cover all aspects of the romance spectrum from a simple crush to total immersion into a long term committed relationship.
You’re Just Bisexual, Stop Making Up Words
No, it’s actually very different to bisexuality because the word bi denotes only 2. That’s what bi means. But there are more than just 2 genders, and there are so many fluid forms it takes, so while bisexuality does cover a couple of bases, pansexuality actually covers them all.
You’ll Never Have a Committed Relationship
This is something pan and bi people hear a lot and it’s offensive in the same ways. The idea that because you have attraction to more than one gender means that you’ll cheat and never be satisfied with just one is ridiculous. I mean, by that logic everyone will always cheat because regardless of which gender you’re attracted to, they aren’t the only one in the world and so there’s always that “grass is greener” possibility no matter what.
How Do You Even Know If You’ve Never Dated Anyone?
The same way most gay kids know they are gay, because people aren’t actually idiots for the most part and know their own heads and their own attractions. And, you know what? What does it even matter anyway? Life is a learning experience and it’s perfectly okay to play around and experiment with your likes and dislikes. And that goes for everything, whether it’s food, careers, people… Try it all out! You never know what you might find yourself liking.
If You Don’t Recognise Gender That Must Mean You’re Trans
No, actually it just means you’re slightly more enlightened than the average punter and realise that gender, like sexuality, is often not as clear cut as the binary would have us believe. Science and research shows us that gender and the good old XX and XY chromosomes are far more complex and complicated than the average Joe can comprehend, and that’s okay! Just live and let live, and love and let love.
You’re Just A Freak
The best way to respond to this is to laugh, wiggle your hips and start singing Super Freak by Rick James. Like honestly. People say these sort of things specifically to hurt and insult, and the best defence against that is to laugh at it. Yeah, mate, we’re all fucking freaks here! Join the party or GTFO! We’re living in the future, how sad you’re still stuck in the past.
Basically it comes down to respect and civility. If someone identifies as something you don’t quite understand it’s totally okay to ask them to elaborate on what they mean by the terms they are using. Education is a life-long thing. Every day we learn new things and the way we can move forwards towards a future of acceptance and tolerance is by understanding that we don’t understand everything, and that’s okay! Be kind. That’s basically all it takes.
Comments (27)
42allin
More than a month agoYes, that's what happened to me. Now let's work on a world without borders.
Aloha19
More than a month agoYes,yes - let's follow the example of Sweden&Germany! What fun!
bobthebuilder18
More than a month agoYes!, Yes, Yes! If people were more honest about themselves, I think many would be more likely find themselves defined as Pansexuals.
jajainlalaland
More than a month agoI just tell people that I have found my spot on the rainbow.
AdHoC47
More than a month agoThank You.
Although Pansexual is just a label I choose to simplify things for others, I actually don't subscribe to any of them.
Sexuality is a deeply personal thing, just like faith, or who you are voting for in the next election.
Absolutely no one I have ever met Hetero/Homo/Bi/Pan Sexual ever walks into the room, or up to another person and says...
"Hi I'm Ben and I'm Straight/Gay/Bi/Pan".
I'm sure it probably does happen, but it's more about that person and their needs, than those they're introducing themselves to.
It's why I don't place much weight on "coming out", it's simply not required and certainly shouldn't be expected.
Simply be respectful and accept everyone else as they are, how they are, where they are and when they are, it really is that simple.
Thank you for your article, if a lot of our little community read it, then it will certainly save me an explanation when first making contact with others.
H8deS.
Xo
Thrilllover
More than a month agoAs a kinky Domme who often works with kinky newbies, I’d like to make few observations:
1. You latch on a label to move through but ditch it on the way out. Labels are there for a reason just don’t get hang up on them for too long if your journey isn’t completed (does it ever?)
2. It isn’t that gender isn’t important to pansexuals. I am pansexual. I’m attracted to masculine men and feminine women. But their physics will not matter as much to me unless I’m attracted to WHO they are first.
3. Pansexuality doesn’t mean ALL genders or ALL sexual orientation. At least to me it means that people come first, body parts come second, yet important, nevertheless.
Some pansexuals will only be attracted to personalities regardless gender, body type, race, colour, or any other physics. They are pansexuals too ofcourse, just different to how I see mine. We also want to make that distinction between gender and physics as for some it IS about body parts and for others it’s a more socio / behavioral term. Best, as Eva suggested, is to ask what does it mean to the person you’re talking to, humans will always come in more variations and colours than labels.
Account Closed
More than a month agoVery well put.
Xo
MsCupCake
More than a month agoIt’s funny how some people have opinions on things they know nothing about and
quite sad how many ignorant people don’t understand or refuse to grasp the difference between gender, sexuality and the choice to be an individual and not be stuffed into a box that they don’t belong in.
I have had inquiries from a few men here and other sites about the meaning of my sexuality.
Most are happy with my explanation and have broadened their knowledge.
Our minds are like parachutes, they don’t work unless they are open.... if only closed minds came with closed mouths.
LaughAnytime
More than a month agoOmg so sick of all the made up sex terms. You like who you like. Why do people need to make Labels for everything
Such Kardashian like antics Be Yourself isn’t that enough
Bourboncan
More than a month agoSpot on. Articles like this are absolute rubbish needing to define someone as this or that
Account Closed
More than a month agoOn ya Burb.
Just can’t stand for Us n Them we’re One species that doesn’t need labels to segregate us no matter what colour, gender or interest. If it doesn’t suit you then move on
The old Army saying rings so true to even the most slow or ignorant of Label makers
“Don’t stick your head up if you’re not willing to get it shot off!”
So basically it’s destructive and disrespecting to others to sayHey look at me I’m different...... wow. Really Big deal ecveryone is. Cause we’re individuals
Whomever subscribes to the ‘One shoe fits all theory’ really failed social studies and psychology studies at school
Ie; every person is different & every experience is different so how can anything but Narrow mindedness be the outcome, for pigeon holeing new sexual identifiers As an educator and an openminded sexually experienced experiemental adult I fully appreciate what & why & we should set a much better example of What we leave a a legacy for the adults of tomorrow. Sadly it’s not looking good
Spangledperch
More than a month agoUmm no there aren't more than two genders. Male and female that's it.
Aloha19
More than a month agoWord.
ConsentPlease
More than a month agoWhen I’m asked what does pansexual mean, I usually reply ‘I’m attracted to hearts not parts’
KinkyGirl101
More than a month agoNicely said!
Account Closed
More than a month agoWink wink kisses to you
Sirramsalot
More than a month agoCouldn't have said it better myself, brilliant:)
Kidcas
More than a month agoWhat a load of absolute garbage , just another label for the EMOs to have a place in society .
Account Closed
More than a month agoIt's a pity that dickheads like you have a place in society ;-) Still, thanks for outing yourself, so that no-one makes the mistake of thinking you're a decent human being.
Kidcas
More than a month agoThat's a great weight off my mind ,the world is obsessed with labels , you have to be identified as a label .
I really don't give a shit, nor will I judge someone based on there choices . I like women that lick my ass , surely you have a label for me that I don't really give a shit about ?
I'm not here to agree with everyone , it's an open forum , get over yourself Doris.
Aloha19
More than a month agoTriggering "enlightened "snowflakes... Never gets old. Bahahaha
Keep up the good work KC.
Kidcas
More than a month agoDon't encourage the old (bi) hack
KinkyGirl101
More than a month agoThanks for another great article Eva. Plenty of humour but also plenty of insight to educate the ignorant and the just plain rude. Disappointing to find ignorance pop up on such a sex positive inclusive site such as AMM.
KinkyGirl101
More than a month agoDid you know that the term "heterosexual" has been around for less than 100 years but of course, you're right, it's also a label because someone felt the need to describe the desire for someone of the opposite sex. In fact it's origins aren't as clear, "The 1901 Dorland’s Medical Dictionary defined heterosexuality as an “abnormal or perverted appetite toward the opposite sex.” More than two decades later, in 1923, Merriam Webster’s dictionary similarly defined it as “morbid sexual passion for one of the opposite sex.” It wasn’t until 1934 that heterosexuality was graced with the meaning we’re familiar with today: “manifestation of sexual passion for one of the opposite sex; normal sexuality.” Whilst pansexuality was used as early as 1917 so as far as "labels" go perhaps the pansexuals are sick of all this heterosexuality bullshit. lol
Leolady727
More than a month agoI've always been confused by the term "Pansexual" , so thanks for explaining it, Eva. I identify as bisexual but don't worry about anyone else's sexual identification or what they do - as long as they don't do it in the street and frighten the horses :-)
bambilovebris
More than a month agoyes gender and sexuality have nothing in common, i was a hetero male I am now a hetero trans female, My heterosexuality is a part of me regardless of my gender.
Account Closed
More than a month agoYou just keep chasing labels Where’s the real you. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone