Help! My boyfriend still has nude photos of his ex!

Amie Wee Amie Wee on 16 September 2018    34 comments
Couple in bed and woman is trying to see the message the man is reading on his mobile device

Dear Amie: I know I shouldn’t have, but recently I had a snoop on my boyfriend’s phone and found that he still has nude photos of his ex girlfriend in his camera roll. Is he keeping those photos because he wants to be with her? Our relationship is great. I don’t get it. Should I confront him?

Let it be known that no good can come from snooping. Girl, you’ve said your relationship was great yet you hacked into your man’s phone and now you’ve spooked yourself. The fact that you felt the need to have a sticky beak into his privacy suggests there are bigger issues at play here than a few nude relics of your boyfriend’s Ex.

Firstly, I don’t know about you, but I certainly have nudes of a few Ex’s floating around on my devices. I probably should have deleted everything when we broke up but a few slipped through the cracks and remain at the bottom of my camera roll. Why? Partly it’s a mix of nostalgia and the rest of I-can’t-be-fucked deleting them. They’re an archive of sex and relationships gone by. It’s not like I go back and revisit the photos and wish we were still together - fuck no! They’re an Ex for a reason!

Now, I’m no mathematician but the odds on this one are pointing to your boyfriend just being an innocent, dumb man. Yes, it’s a bit tacky still having those photos floating around in his phone. They’re probably not even on his radar. Secondly, you found the photos back in his camera roll. It’s not like they were freshly saved or actively hidden in a folder from you. Surely he’d put in a bit more effort if he was trying to be sneaky. It’s hardly likely that he’s scrolling back to his Ex’s nudes to jerk off to them on the regular. If you have no reason to not trust this guy, don’t let your own insecurities and anxieties do a number on you over some old photos from when your man was intimate with someone other than you. Remember that you’re the one he’s dating now, not the Ex.

With all this being said, if you feel that you need to address this with him, be aware that you’re going to have to confess that you breached his privacy by snooping into his phone. And he’s going to assume that you did this because you don’t trust him, despite the fact that you’ve said you do.

Alternatively, if you still can’t ignore the photos and their mere existence is making the green monster bubble away inside of you, wait until your man’s in the shower then hack back in, delete the fuckers and move on! Just kidding… but seriously, move on.

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Comments (34)

  • Lester518

    Lester518
    Account closed

    Men look at women, even when they are loved up, men look, because it’s in their nature. Most of us are visual creatures.
    Monogamy is not the natural state for men, just one thrust upon us. He looks at other women? Big deal. Get a grip of those silly insecurities and wise up tbh.
    If you found pics of his ex it’s likely he just didn’t delete them, but remember at one time he was red hot for her. They may just be a fond memory. He’s with you now....
    >4w
    • qick-e

      qick-e
      70M Tullamarine, VIC,
       AU

      i have some hard copies of naked pics of an old flame , i love them and look at them on a regular basis ,,
      it reminds me of some good times from the past ,
      snooping is a no no for me ,,
      perhaps if she asked if he had such material he may have told her ,,
      >4w
    • MandyMaree2973

      MandyMaree2973
      Account closed

      Agreed, I know men I’ve known still have pics I’ve sent, who knows why but they do ;),
      >4w
    Reply
  • Friends4fing

    Friends4fing
    Account closed

    Yeah she's right move on. These pics are from a time in his life before he met you. You can't just delete the the relationship he had with his ex, it's a part of him. You are the next stage of his life now, the current scene in his life story, so make it a good one.
    Us men are visual creatures so I suggest you make the time and effort to get dressed up in your fantasy wear and create some new mementos together.
    >4w
    Reply
  • MissThatTouch

    MissThatTouch
    Account closed

    I have a few 'random moments' nude photos of an ex in a photo box in the cupboard (we were together before smartphones/digital cameras - but Polaroids existed lol) which will always be for my eyes only...including one I will never throw away no matter if anyone wants me to, of a hilarious shot taken one Easter. I keep them not because I'm wanting to keep the memory alive in my current life, or be with him/lust after him still...but simply as for other photos in that box, they are a snapshot of my life and happy moments/memories during it.
    While I can understand the shock of the discovery (putting aside the breach of privacy of how they were found in the first place!)...we all have a past..it doesnt mean we want to go back to it.
    >4w
    Reply
  • leighleigh55

    leighleigh55
    Account closed

    Stop snooping.
    You are in the wrong not your boyfriend
    >4w
    Reply
  • Zeebee2

    Zeebee2
    67F SA,
     AU

    Great advice
    >4w
    Reply
  • Jay1312

    Jay1312
    Account closed

    Well shouldn't have been looking at his phone in the first place . Shows how little trust she had in her boyfriend in the first place. Relaionships need to have trust ; without trust a relationship is doomed to fail and it cuts both ways.You have to be able to trust each other !
    One thing woman forget so easily is its in a man's nature for him to wonder with his eyes. Start accusing your man of still having hots for an ex ; show that you don't trust him ; he begins to wonder why he bothers being faithful ! Then that wondering eyes on other women can turn into something more ! Yes its in our nature to check women out and it dates way back to when we would look for a suitable mate to propergate the species. I will garentee that Cave man did not always have one partner for life.
    >4w
    Reply
  • triXXXi66

    triXXXi66
    58F 58M SA,
     AU

    Maybe you could find out the true state of your relationship by google imaging a nude pic of a bloke and putting it in your camera roll. Im guessing you would soon find out if he is snooping on your phone... lol.
    And even if he is still wanking off to her pic.. it is over with her and im sure he enjoys sex with you still. Blokes wank off to pics and vids of other women all the time.. i got over it years ago.. doesnt mean he loves you any less.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Meester

    Meester
    56M Newcastle, NSW,
     AU

    A lack of trust and insecurity on her part.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Bikbubbles

    Bikbubbles
    Account closed

    Should of deleted them problem solved
    >4w
    Reply
  • Spookyduke001

    Spookyduke001
    44M Kew, NSW,
     AU

    Love this article.... wish my ex had of had th opportunity to read this before she wigged out and went off the deepend about rubbish issues from years ago
    >4w
    Reply
  • FunXxXFinder

    FunXxXFinder
    41M Mosman, NSW,
     AU

    I totally agree with Aimee. I now make one big, bold rule in my relationships "there is no hacking into my phone! If you are caught it is an instant breakup". If you ask your boyfriend about these pics he will instantly step back and question the trust levels of this relationship. Do you want to take that risk? My advice is "no"
    >4w
    Reply
  • Leolady727

    Leolady727
    Account closed

    Meh - she's an ex (although if she's hot I wouldn't mind a look). Jealousy and possessiveness have no place in a relationship!
    >4w
    Reply
  • Zamboon

    Zamboon
    66M Bridgeman Downs, QLD,
     AU

    Why were you looking in his phone? Obviously not with his permission... if it’s because you felt something wasn’t right and you were suspicious of him then good you might have caught him out - your relationship is in trouble and you are very naive...
    >4w
    Reply
  • Arcana

    Arcana
    Account closed

    Women do the same, at least this woman does. It's a symbol of great memories, not a declaration that you're not devoted to your current partner, hence the word current. Snooping in his phone was SUPER not cool. No trust, no solid foundation for everything else that a relationship exists upon.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Funguynotfungi

    Funguynotfungi
    47M Tamborine, QLD,
     AU

    WOW!! Don't go through his old Facebook pics, you'll have a heart attack! That shit is there for ever. I'm still tagged in ex's photos from the past and aren't even friends anymore on Facebook. Life's to short to be bitter. Move on.
    >4w
    Reply
  • LaughAnytime

    LaughAnytime
    Account closed

    How dare she or he snoop !!
    If you snoop you’ll find something you don’t like cause you’re the untrustworthy one placing your insecurity on the other.
    Grrrr
    >4w
    Reply
  • HeadDownBumUp

    HeadDownBumUp
    Account closed

    ugh.… sounds like this piece was lifted straight out of 'Dolly Doctor'!
    >4w
    Reply
  • Sityboy69

    Sityboy69
    Account closed

    The reason my last relationship failed was because she snooped.
    She found nothing but the fact the she needed to snoop for no reason what so ever was enough of a trust breaker for me to conclude that nothing good will come out of this relationship.
    Girls dont snoop.
    If u have trust issues discuss it with your partner and together work through it.
    As its been stated nothing good will come out of snooping
    >4w
    • Hot9Crazy5

      Hot9Crazy5
      Account closed

      In my experience the snooping was a bad sign and I only wished I’d had the strength to walk away instead of listening to him crap on about trust. Trust was lost for a reason and it has to be earned again. It’s not just given....ever
      >4w
    Reply
  • MeetsandTreats

    MeetsandTreats
    64M Capalaba, QLD,
     AU

    There's an app called 'Photo Vault' for your phone. Needs a password to access. Great way to store pics and vids which I do of my ex's and old female friends for those occasions when I like to reminisce.
    Stops the embarrassing situations when showing your 'other friends' you holiday, new car, family snaps that are being shared in the same folders as your spread, pussy, headjob, public flashing pics of years gone by !!!!!
    >4w
    • AMM.Editor

      AMM.Editor
      Staff Account

      We suggested a vault app in [this article](https://www.adultmatchmaker.com.au/blog/348/read-this-before-you-send-that-naked-selfie)
      >4w
    Reply
  • MsCupCake

    MsCupCake
    Account closed

    Why are you snooping in the first place?
    If you want him to see that you are jealous and insecure of a few old pictures - go ahead and confront him .... odds are you won't be in that relationship for much longer.
    We all have history and that's exactly what it is - history ...
    >4w
    • MandyMaree2973

      MandyMaree2973
      Account closed

      I wouldn’t check someone’s phone but if she found these I guess she might think he’s not over it, if you were insecure that’s exactly what you would think.
      >4w
    Reply
  • MandyMaree2973

    MandyMaree2973
    Account closed

    Maybe he prefers her nude pics over yours ?, maybe you need to take some :), who cares, she’s an EX, acting insecure etc won’t get you far :(
    >4w
    Reply
  • Spalisious2

    Spalisious2
    72M Frankston North, VIC,
     AU

    Hey girl ..enjoy that he is with you ..might be he is using her downside against your upside ..who knows ...if you snooped you have her number ..invite her over ...if guilty he will go soft ..if not it could be a very hot nite ...for you and her ...the guy only gets one go ..lol
    >4w
    Reply
  • AssuntaTS

    AssuntaTS
    Account closed

    Get rid of him hon, if he's still has those photo's, then he still appears to me that he still want her
    >4w
    Reply
  • wildtotally

    wildtotally
    Account closed

    Com take some with me and see what he thinks gorgeliscious!
    >4w
    Reply
  • prettyg123

    prettyg123
    41T Sydney, NSW,
     AU

    Depends on where he puts them. If they are in a boa and locked up, don’t worry. That’s history. But if that’s in his phone.m and he looks at them often, well, you know.
    However, everyone is different. Only you know how he treats you.
    >4w
    Reply
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