15 Awkward One Night Stand Stories
These posts originally appeared on a Reddit thread.
Reddit users love sharing their weird and wonderful experiences and sex is no exception. When a user asked "People who regularly have one night stands, what's the weirdest experience you've had?" the responses were too good not to share.
Early the next morning, her huge Burmese python slithered into bed with us to cuddle. I noped right the fuck out. Yes, I like reptiles, but when you wake up with a 12 foot snake between you and a sleeping stranger, it's time to go home. She called me a pussy and said the poor thing just wanted to be warm. Then continued to send creepy nudes with the snake. LPT; don't mess with Goth chicks unless you're really really into EVERYTHING they're into. - justanotheraddiction
i woke up the next morning completely naked and covered in gum. Alone. - afburnham
I told a guy I loved him after meeting him twice. I had just gotten out of a 10 year relationship so I was pretty emotionally unstable. He was pretty nice about it but I was super embarrassed obviously. Also a guy told me he loved me in the middle of having sex with him the first night I met him. That was pretty weird. - KittyKat234
When I got to his room there was a big chalkboard on the wall covered in names and I didn't think anything of it. When I was leaving he asked me to sign it. Pay attention to your surroundings folks. - IWishIWasMoreClever1
I sucked a nipple ring out of a girls nipple and swallowed it by accident. Came out fine. - heraclitus33
I asked her to take her tongue ring off while she was blowing me because I found it uncomfortable. She forgot her tongue ring and got a ride from her boyfriend the next day to get it back. - sigh_riss
Met a hot guy in a club. Had drinks, danced, had fun. He asks if we can 'have a sleepover.' I say sure. We go home. We fuck. I fall asleep. In the morning, I wake up and all of my food in the kitchen is gone. Literally, all of it. From the fridge, from pantries, from cabinets, etc. - Slummish
So, we go to his bedroom and it is decorated entirely with cheap stuffed animals that you get at the fair. Bears, unicorns, horses, pigs...everything. He has so many that he built shelves all the way around the walls with the smallest animals on the bottom shelf and the biggest ones on the top. No lie, there were probably 1,000 of them. I had to go outside and smoke a cigarette. Thank god he didn't smoke, because I had to collect my thoughts. So, I come back inside and we ended up having pretty decent sex for being sort of drunk and having a one-night-stand. We finished up and I put my head on his shoulder and asked him what he thought about it. 'Go ahead and take a prize off the bottom shelf,' he says. Worst. One night stand. Ever.- sloots_and_hoors
I had just gotten out of a super-intense relationship, the kind where you really don't have anything in common but they're amazing in bed, so all of your activities revolve around sex. Two weeks after breaking it off, the only thing I could think about was getting laid. So I convince my friends to go to a bar with me with my only intention getting smashed and picking someone up. Find someone, get to his house have great sex. Wake up the next morning he rolls over and says 'I love you so much.' At this moment I was like, 'Shit no, can't deal with this.' Start finding all my clothes and wallet. Then he starts talking about how he's going to pick up a puppy today and I come with him if he wants... The puppy was so fucking cute. Three years later and the dog is still freaking adorable, and I don't panic so much when he says he loves me. - kmuelle6
The guy was a complete dick to me in the morning, as if it was entirely my fault he fucked a complete stranger. He called me later that afternoon freaking out because he had a 'sore' on his wiener that he was sure was a result of our liaison. He berated me about not revealing that I had an STD (I didn't) and calling me all sorts of horrible names and telling me I ruined his life. I told him I didn't have any diseases and I'm pretty sure even if I did, he wouldn't suddenly sprout sores that same afternoon, so, if anything, he had probably put me at risk, not the other way around. Logic was not effective. I finally got his hysterical ass off the phone but he apparently called his mother (what?) and got himself all worked up again because he called back an hour or two later to scream at me and call me a whore. He went to the emergency room to have his dick checked out. It was just an ingrown hair. I did get a courtesy call with this information but no apology. After what I assume he thought was a proper waiting period of a few weeks, he tried to call me again for sex. I said 'no. - sweaty_yeti
Had an OKcupid hookup with a girl that said she worked in her fathers auto garage. Everything went fine and she wound up spending the night I woke up the next morning and she had snuck out. I had a text that said "why are there pictures of other girls on your phone". Of course these were pictures of myself and friends, some of which were girls, at bars and concerts and nothing particularly sexy. I thought to myself, thank god she ditched, I certainly don't want to hang out with a girl that will go through my phone while I'm asleep on the first date, or ever. Later that day I go to start my car won't start, my mechanic said somebody had cut several wires for the ignition system. Guess she knew her shit. - Orphanleni
I'd gone out with a few friends, promptly got wasted, and by some small miracle ended up going back to this fairly attractive girl's place. Morning after she decides to sooth my hangover with a bj, but before proceeding she says "You told me last night you don't really do one night stands, hope you remember my name?" I completely froze, I buy some time by laughing, and through sheer luck I notice a picture frame with "Emilia" written on it in bold colourful letters. Yeah that was her sisters name, she'd died the previous summer, and I did not get that blowie. - machiavellicious
Went home with a girl. Went to the bathroom naked during the night. Couldn't remember what door I was in. Saw the bathroom light was on and peeked my head in and it was her dad. I ran down tbe stairs to hear this "what the fuck are you doing". I couldn't remember her name and just responded with, "I came home with the girl". He must of only had one daughter and directed me to her room. The next morning when she was about to drop me home, she introduced me to her parents. Her dad said "I know who he fucking is, I caught him walking around our house at 4am". - baggyizzle
I went back to this girls place hammered, I remember it kind of looking like a church. Turns out it was. This girl interned at my local campus church, where she lived in a kind of hidden second floor apartment. Basically, I had to ramble through a walk of shame the next morning (sunday morning) past bunch of people attending morning mass. - IAMCANADIAN_sorry
She was actually really cute and she got up to leave so I just said lock the door behind you because super hungover. So finally I make my way out of bed and she had taken all of the food in my house along with my blender like how the fuck did you pull this off?! – Reddit user
Likes & Comments
Comments (29)
FoxDen.AustWide
xFunlovingx
Mstr.Full
Vic.surfer
Happydiver1
Mmaybebabe
TENforyou
justforfun558
AMM.Editor
downundermumma
BounceMoanOnYou
TasteofDestiny
Ruralrustic
SassySandy
dugstarr
karlos6996
SeaMistAU
3on3some
gr87xxx
pseudOMedium
Fitguy19770
Zamboon
Leolady727
abcplus1
downundermumma
CelticCutieCC
Leolady727
Leolady727
loey34