How many sexual partners have you had...honestly?

Emma Sachsse Emma Sachsse on 9 November 2016    111 comments
Man and woman sitting on a park bench discussing the number of sex partners they have had

A YouTube clip turned up this week of a first date on which the girl is ridiculed by her date for thinking that an octopus has 12 legs, but he still wants to have sex with her. He then asks her how many men she has slept with. It gets awkward. Maybe she was so upset because she is bad at counting (8 = 12) not because that is a completely inappropriate thing to ask on a first date. I don’t think he gets to add himself to the number, whatever it is.

Tracy Cox, a sex therapist, has been quoted as saying any female who is thinking of confessing, not to, “I guarantee that no matter what number you say it will be too many. Even if you have only had five” she sighs “it will be four too many”. She has some valid points about how the circumstances are more telling than the numbers, and you can get a better idea of what she has to say from her articles. Once I start trawling the internet, I found examples of all sorts of different attitudes and “acceptable” numbers but the prevailing attitude seems to be, less is best, especially for women. It is just more than it used to be a few decades ago.

So I thought I should write about it and then my hypocrisy was exposed. I believe that the number of people you have slept with shouldn’t define you, no matter what gender you identify with or what your sexuality. The reality is that as a straight, cis female I don’t want to tell you how many men I have slept with because I do not want to be judged. I don’t want the men I have slept with to think they were any less special because of the number of other men I have slept with and I don’t want my current partner to be devastated by the amount of sexual experience I have had compared to him. He knows it is a big difference, but putting an actual number on it? My gay mates used to joke that the number of men I had slept with made me an honorary gay man.  Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t tell you the exact number although as a writer I have kept a journal of most of the men I have slept with. Some entries just read “hot blonde at Austral, great sex” so the sex was memorable even if his name isn’t. And I recently read a Facebook post from a woman (whom I don’t remember) about finding me in bed with her boyfriend 26 years ago. I don’t remember any of it, but she does, and boy is she still angry about what that 18-year-old girl did (not the boyfriend). I don’t even know if I knew he had a girlfriend, but I am positive I have always had a don’t touch another person’s partner rule, but maybe that came later when I was more mature, at like twenty. So I am pretty sure I have forgotten to record every single lover.

Either way, I have had a number of sexual experiences, with some particularly gorgeous, lovely men. Some were from using Adult Match Maker. And I know that I am well into the triple digits, which according to most, is a few more than is acceptable for a female.

Anyway, having almost always had more partners than the men I was sleeping with has meant I learnt pretty early on that it threatened most of them. It was always refreshing to come across men who were so completely comfortable in their sexuality that they were either not threatened or had a similar tally, either way, it wasn’t an issue, and I didn’t suddenly become tainted. 

There is an assumption that people who sleep around are “diseased”. I find the reverse is true because they understand about these things and get checked regularly, they are healthy. 

I am not ashamed of the number of men I have slept with, and I want to feel like I could tell you without anyone judging. However, I am not ready to. Just know that it was the right amount. Sure there were some mistakes in there, but I learnt from them, mostly, well after the second or third time. Yes, I got exposed to STI’s but that wasn’t my punishment for having too much sex, just as catching a cold isn’t my punishment for walking around outside too often. I had some great times, some good laughs, and yes, maybe a few tears, either way, it is the right number for me, whatever it actually is.

It is not the numbers, but the intent. If you are having an enjoyable time, respecting yourself and others, then the numbers don’t mean a thing, either way. 

I’m at a different life stage right now and I am happily participating in a monogamous relationship but part of why I am so content is that I have truly experienced a lot of what there is to experience, I am not curious about greener grass. My partner is an excellent lover, and I know this for a fact, I have done my research.

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Comments (111)

  • Simonsays1976

    Simonsays1976
    Account closed

    I would say between 197 and 200
    >4w
    Reply
  • 1975wombaT

    1975wombaT
    Account closed

    They/we ain’t numbers. Shouldn’t be thinking this is number 36 while you are having sex with a person!!!
    >4w
    Reply
  • Newiplaycouple

    Newiplaycouple
    Account closed

    Hey there honestly,
    >4w
    Reply
  • highbornsteam54

    highbornsteam54
    68M Zillmere, QLD,
     AU

    None for 2 1/2 years.
    >4w
    Reply
  • BluePowerade383

    BluePowerade383
    Account closed

    Not nearly enough
    >4w
    Reply
  • Playtime.mmmm

    Playtime.mmmm
    61F Dee Why, NSW,
     AU

    My number is my number...... irrespective of your opinion.
    As long as all are consenting adults, and no one is getting hurt.
    We all enjoy sex and there should be no shame in that. I have learnt from my experiences, and im sure those judgmental people, would be only to happy to play with open minded confident people, as for them they would be getting an experience they would never forget.
    Some of us are more sexual beings and some less so......enjoy and play as u wish, because what truly matters is what makes you ( and your partner ) enjoy and what releases those endorphins, that makes us happier and healthier.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Matchless650

    Matchless650
    Account closed

    There was a year when I had 200 lovers, I knew all their names too!
    But that year has passed & now I think of them fondly!
    >4w
    Reply
  • Howaboutnow73

    Howaboutnow73
    Account closed

    Oh god, My grand tally is let's see..1,2,3 oh, then there was that one, oh, and being that one was a threesome does that count for two? Oh...then there's that one....ok I've got it....
    7..(seven).....if I had have been a bit more patient it might have been 1 more than 7. So there, 7 it is!........this month!!
    FFS.....really? Why do people judge? Who gives them the right? Who cares if you are man, woman or in between...who cares about your sexuality....or the number of sexual partners you have had? Isn't there enough judgements passed around already? By just being on AMM you can be judged by the conservative, vanilla type, apparent "cornerstones" of our society. Let them judge I say, I mean mister Abbott for instance....the guy lead this country and doesn't believe a yes is appropriate when talking gay marriage? They just end up looking silly really...Who the hell are these people? What gives them the right? Reserve your judgement on numbers, those who do, keep that energy for sorting out your deeper seated problem, such as why a number should bother you, why the insecurities? Get over yourself!
    Love the one you're with! Most importantly love yourself! That's what really COUNTS!
    >4w
    Reply
  • CentralWestCpl

    CentralWestCpl
    Account closed

    I agree that numbers do not matter. I have had long monogamous relationships which were equally as good as casual short term fun ones.
    Of course once my partner and I got into the swinging scene both our numbers grew quickly.
    >4w
    Reply
  • QueenM11

    QueenM11
    Account closed

    Love this! Thanks :)
    >4w
    Reply
  • Boobsnbum779

    Boobsnbum779
    Account closed

    I totally agree . How are you suppose to get good at it off you don't practice lol
    >4w
    • Jakmarr

      Jakmarr
      Account closed

      Yes I definitely agree with you on this subject practice makes for great technique and builds confidence which can only mean better sex for all involved.
      >4w
    Reply
  • Nostrings002

    Nostrings002
    64M Bellbowrie, QLD,
     AU

    In my younger days I was a total man whore and loved it got married and a lot of the flame went out I missed the thrill of the hunt That is why I am back here Wanting to play hard but it was around 300 ladies and 298 were great the other two just lay there like sacks there loss. And the sex was every think you can imagine. ANY Takers
    >4w
    Reply
  • lizyard76

    lizyard76
    Account closed

    Over the years I'd have to say having different lovers has taught me a lot. In my early 20's I was scared of sex, scared of male organs and it was all because I wasn't fully aware of the pleasures. I was brought up with the 'put up and shut up' attitude of my mum's era and it was your duty as a wife to put out....
    from my mid thirties I really started to understand the benefits of sex and how different lovers teach you and about yourself, what you like and what you don't like.
    Also how to please others and how much that then pleases you.
    Yes numbers mean nothing its what we learn and experience that counts. The stories you can tell or share with those that are close also make for fun times.
    Myself and my hubby are at the opposite end of the scale but it doesn't stop either of us enough our sex life.
    >4w
    • lizyard76

      lizyard76
      Account closed

      Now because of my experiences I have helped a lot of my female friends enjoy their partners more and they are happier than they have been in years.
      >4w
    Reply
  • curious_joe33

    curious_joe33
    66M Denistone, NSW,
     AU

    It's interesting that anyone thinks numbers are important. What is guaranteed is that there is a mathematical certainty that on average women have as many partners as men, so roughly 50% of the time the woman has had more partners - and 50% the man has had more. If everyone realised that then it would be a non-issue.
    >4w
    Reply
  • FunkyAl2.0

    FunkyAl2.0
    47M Hazelwood North, VIC,
     AU

    I havent read the whole article but i did read somewhere that men tend to embellish their number by around 15 to 20% but women were the opposite and reduced their overall figure by a similar amount haha
    I guess it says something about what how we perceive someones sexual conquests as good or bad depending on the persons gender!!
    But it would be a lot easier for a female to rack up high numbers as a click of the fingers would be all thats required for a suitable mate to come running with cock in hand...But with males it is much much harder and prob why he gets called a stud and she a whore...
    Not my opinion... Just saying lol
    >4w
    • Leolady727

      Leolady727
      Account closed

      You have a very strange idea of what women want - we are much more selective than men.
      >4w
    • FunkyAl2.0

      FunkyAl2.0
      47M Hazelwood North, VIC,
       AU

      How is my idea strange??
      I was just quoting research on the number of partners, which is what the discussion is about I believe...
      I agree that women are much more selective and thats to do with the fact that they can afford to be as they have many more options...
      >4w
    Reply
  • LimitPusher

    LimitPusher
    Account closed

    Those of the mentality that count their sexual conquests are probably the same type that "high 5" their partner after sex
    >4w
    Reply
  • locksmith22

    locksmith22
    67M Neutral Bay, NSW,
     AU

    An extremely well constructed article which through sheer, "staring you in the face" logic makes absolute sense irrespective of gender. I wish this sort of commentary was available when I was much younger, struggling against the constraints of social judgement and sexual taboos.
    Well done Emma - I like your style...... keep up the good work.
    >4w
    Reply
  • gtkxxx

    gtkxxx
    34M Parkdale, VIC,
     AU

    I have had sex with less than 10 people but my ex multiple times ;) everyone else once or twice these date sites dont seem to work :(
    >4w
    Reply
  • willinged666

    willinged666
    58M Sunshine, VIC,
     AU

    well I must be doing some thing wrong coz its not a lot can count on one hand still
    >4w
    • lookn4somthgnew

      lookn4somthgnew
      Account closed

      I'm a one hand man. And proud of it. Looking forward to moving to the second set of fingers though!! None the less it is a who really cares. It is the here and now that matters. It also has always amazed me the contradiction society has. So hypocritical.
      >4w
    Reply
  • Wanderlust11

    Wanderlust11
    Account closed

    Work in progress...
    >4w
    Reply
  • downundermumma

    downundermumma
    68F Mildura, VIC,
     AU

    Well they do say variety is the spice of life. I had one partner for 22 years and we had what I thought was a great sex life. However, after he was no longer in the picture and ventured in to meeting other men, I have found other men absolutely better in bed than I ever imagined. I have also found worse too. But it all comes down to experiencing something with them. You gain more knowledge about yourself and what turns on the opposite sex too, and with each encounter you get better and better.
    >4w
    Reply
  • COOLEURO

    COOLEURO
    Account closed

    I don't see what the issue is in regards to how many people you've has sex with .
    As long as your having a good time and not hurting anyone the more the merrier :)
    >4w
    Reply
  • friskypuz

    friskypuz
    Account closed

    but who really counts them,, ?
    who needs to know? and I'm not done yet...
    >4w
    Reply
  • cman01

    cman01
    Account closed

    God I was an absolute man whore growing up, I was involved in mindless faceless sex with so many partners it was well into triple digits as well. I wouldnt change a thing at all, it was wonderful and I would never ever deny anyone their right to explore their sexuality.
    >4w
    Reply
  • whycoffee

    whycoffee
    Account closed

    I couldn't care how many someone has been with its not indicative of anything. If a 45 year old woman started sex at 18 and was unlucky enough to met 1 guy a year and he only slept with her once, that would make 27 men is that to many or not I ask the good people of AMM. It shouldn't define her in any way.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Onemorechance16

    Onemorechance16
    38F Melbourne, VIC,
     AU

    I was a Virgin 7 months ago and thanks to this site I'm nearly to double digits. I just wanted sexual experience before/if I ever settle down with someone. I was kind of concerned on my number at first but then I thought stuff it, I want and deserve fun like everyone else and numbers don't even count. Just because I'm a woman, numbers shouldn't define me.
    >4w
    • sweeth3art

      sweeth3art
      Account closed

      They don't mate...never have: that's a male social construct that's slightly holding you back. So hit it sister...life's short and every knows you need skin to be in the game :))
      >4w
    Reply
  • Mr.Xander

    Mr.Xander
    Account closed

    I hate that garbage attitude from men... If my partner has had sex with 1, 10, 100, or 1000 men or any other number, then I don't care because she is currently have sex with me and that's all that counts. I don't expect her to take issue with my number though either, which I know exactly and am happy to discuss. Why should it be a problem?
    >4w
    Reply
  • hottcock

    hottcock
    Account closed

    Up until 3 years ago only really about 4.
    But being on this site and couple of naughty Facebook groups as well attending some nude events I increased that 10 fold in the last 3 years. Once again if could have been more but being involved with the lifestyle you get to meet and enjoy the company of like minded people.
    >4w
    Reply
  • justforfun558

    justforfun558
    Account closed

    To be honest, I've lost count
    >4w
    Reply
  • idiotfacedidiot

    idiotfacedidiot
    Account closed

    ova 10...
    >4w
    Reply
  • hotwife012

    hotwife012
    Account closed

    You wouldn't believe me if i told you
    >4w
    Reply
  • KaifraDuet

    KaifraDuet
    Account closed

    I have no idea, but like you, Emma, it is way up in the triple digits and so what? I have never asked any of my lovers to tally up her conquests - or surrenders - it's none of my business. Besides, experience is a wonderful, educational thing. And I still adore them all.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Mickford

    Mickford
    Account closed

    I don;t think it should matter, as long as you aren't hurting anyone go for what you want.
    >4w
    Reply
  • hotsexplease351

    hotsexplease351
    Account closed

    I have sex with 2 in my 62 years ,this is why i am trying this site my now wife for 45 years an to say i do not know what to do ?
    >4w
    Reply
  • The comment has been hidden or removed!
    • plasticmonkey

      plasticmonkey
      Account closed

      wow , you write so beautifully Miss Loonz! I don't mean this in a twisted sense but partners are like cars . When you have one for a long time and finally it is time to update , you tend not to rush into another long term commitment . You look around , see what is available , have a few test drives and then see what you want to do from there .
      >4w
    • trusted8

      trusted8
      64M VIC,
       AU

      I think even though you may have been co-erstedby by others initially into challenging yourself to increase the number of sexual partners, you obviously have enjoyed the ride (so to speak) and good on you for gaining that experience to make those important next steps into the future. Those who are lucky enough to be with you hopefully compliment your life. Xxx
      >4w
    • PsychoTheRapist

      PsychoTheRapist
      Account closed

      Thank you guys.
      :)
      Appreciate your comments
      xxx
      >4w
    • NoisyGirl

      NoisyGirl
      60F Aspendale Gardens, VIC,
       AU

      I lost my one and only to the Big C after 26 years (& children) together. Getting on here was a revelation and I went as mad as a kid in a lolly shop for a few months. Loved every encounter. Met my new man on here 6 years ago and now loving the settled life again. I don't want to share him and he don't want to share me. Perfect. He keeps me busy enough :-)
      >4w
  • plasticmonkey

    plasticmonkey
    Account closed

    when I turned 18 back in 1988 I went out and bought a carton of kb lager beer and put it in the fridge . I said to myself "right , every time I have a sexual encounter , I shall celebrate the occasion by consuming one bottle of beer" . Hang on a minute........I think there is still 3 and a half six packs in the back of the fridge!!
    >4w
    Reply
  • acwotam

    acwotam
    Account closed

    Hmmmm.......... does it still count if you had to pay them??
    >4w
    Reply
  • Leolady727

    Leolady727
    Account closed

    I really cannot believe that this is an issue for anyone! Having gone through the "swinging 60's", when the pill was readily available and STDs were almost unheard-of, I had PLENTY of partners and never thought to ask any of them how many they had fucked.
    >4w
    • djpete321

      djpete321
      63M Werribee, VIC,
       AU

      Well said Leolady.. I think it's a totally irrelevant question and would frown upon anyone that looked down on a girl or guy based on how many people they've explored their sexuality with over their lifetime, regardless of what age they might be..
      How I've led my life defines who I am today. People will either like me for who I am, or not - I've no problem with that. So if you like the person you're with, then what is the relevance to how many partners they've slept with before you met them? None!
      Some folks are just hypocrites. Sexuality is a large part of makes us human. If someone needs to ask that question and then tries to judge you about the answer, then they're not worth your time in my opinion. Personally, asking such a question has never even crossed my mind. As I said, I think it's irrelevant.
      >4w
    Reply
  • SassySandy

    SassySandy
    75F Ocean Shores, NSW,
     AU

    HONESTLY!!!!!! NOT BRAGGING!!!! it's just fact!!!!! Not counting....as it runs into the thousands.......luckily I get to choose the ones I want and DON'T want.......probably would be in the MILLIONS if I chose them all HAHA!!!! For now just enjoying the ones who tickle my fancy for hopefully many more years to come. ENJOY!!!! while the going is good hehe.
    >4w
    • SassySandy

      SassySandy
      75F Ocean Shores, NSW,
       AU

      I'm just a voluptuous woman lucky to be blessed with a high sex drive, if I was a so called "whore" for the men who DON'T approve!!!! tough titties hehe!!!! I would be a VERY rich woman today!!!! BUT I'M NOT!!!!! so why not enjoy myself with the body and sex appeal I was gifted as we ONLY live once.....so all u boring men....GO GET A LIFE!!!!!!
      >4w
    • LisaJohn4u

      LisaJohn4u
      Account closed

      Well good on you SassySandy. Keep doing it while ever you enjoy it. A lot of very lucky guys out there and you get to use your talents and enjoy it too!
      >4w
    Reply
  • pebbleb

    pebbleb
    77M Gannawarra, VIC,
     AU

    As a gay bottom guy from the sixties I was asked this question about 5 years ago and it got me thinking so I wrote down the details of all my encounters and most from this site for 12 months 43 different guys many multiple times so say 55 years x43 = 2365 going on what I was like in Sydney in my teens at the back of central station "The Wall to you who know " the figure is probably about right and 3 girls is my total with women
    >4w
    Reply
  • Sparky02

    Sparky02
    Account closed

    Who cares really. It could be 1 or 1000 as long as the person has no regrets about how many then who really cares.
    >4w
    Reply
  • orangeman555

    orangeman555
    Account closed

    hey I have to say that I do not care how many men (or women for that matter) my partner has slept with. Especially as I got into the swinging scene with a bi-partner we both racked up a lot of sexual partners. I absolutely love being with a woman who fulfils her fantasies. If that means I am just there to support her then great.
    Recently I was talking with a woman I met on AMM about this.She had a man asking her not to fuck around despite the fact he really was not available other than occasionally. Men need to get over this "possessive" behaviour and realize we are all truly equal. And Yes women get to pick and choose on their own terms.
    >4w
    Reply
  • QLDTwo4fun

    QLDTwo4fun
    63M 52F Indooroopilly, QLD,
     AU

    One is too many if they didn't want it. But who cares how many as long as the were all consenting adults and hopefully had a good time.
    >4w
    • LisaJohn4u

      LisaJohn4u
      Account closed

      Good on you. Isn't what this site is really all about? Consenting adults enjoying each other, giving pleasure and receiving it too.
      >4w
    Reply
  • Dexter0007

    Dexter0007
    51M Castle Hill, QLD,
     AU

    Well younger years plenty say around 120 lol but who's counting ME ??????
    >4w
    Reply
  • Toby1975

    Toby1975
    65M 60F Carlton, VIC,
     AU

    It seems these articles/blogs usually focus on high numbers. And people judging others or defending their own tally. But what about the other side of the fence. How many is too few? Can great sex with just one person ever be better than a lifetime of variety even if most of them were forgettable.
    What do you think about those whose number is 1 or 2. And talking about people over say 40 years old, not millennials.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Michelle112

    Michelle112
    Account closed

    Great article. I'm up there too but who really cares? I love playing. I don't intentionally hurt anyone and almost always have a good time. It's about being alive and enjoying our life. Can't have fun when we're dead
    >4w
    Reply
  • Scorpio.looker

    Scorpio.looker
    Account closed

    Should I say maybe about 100?? No, perhaps I had better not.
    >4w
    Reply
  • nautycol

    nautycol
    Account closed

    I was seduced by a couple of 15yo sisters when I was 12 in the sand hills of Burrill Lakes, south coast NSW and continued each xmas holidays for a few years. The experience for me opened up a whole new world for me and gave me the pleasure, most of the time, to have quite a number of lovers over the years. How many? I wouldn't have any idea, and the thing was with me anyway, that it was me and each ladies business and nobody else's regardless.
    I can really relate to the song "To all the girls I've loved before", I am glad they came through my door, so numbers are irrelevant, to me it is the memory of the experience.
    hotemp
    "
    >4w
    Reply
  • BabygalAphrodit

    BabygalAphrodit
    Account closed

    No need to be rude tallguy1965. What's wrong with keeping count? Absolutely nothing. It doesn't hurt anyone. It's not self centered at all. It's fun and exciting and thrilling!
    Mskitty16 - most of mine were over the last 4yrs too!
    >4w
    • LovetoGush

      LovetoGush
      52F VIC,
       AU

      Nice one!!
      >4w
    • Austphil

      Austphil
      Account closed

      I totally agree, each to there own, if we want to count that's our choice. I lost count many years ago, but still have a list of the names of the first 120 ladies and comments, every few years I find it and it brings back memories of each of them. I wish I had kept the idea going, many of the ladies in recent times are now forgotten. I won't say how many wonderful experiences I have had, but in the 90s before the internet took off I was able to meet around 3 couples a week for many years.
      >4w
    Reply
  • MiguelCDLOGAN

    MiguelCDLOGAN
    65NB Loganlea, QLD,
     AU

    more than 100, less than 1,000
    >4w
    Reply
  • Peachapple16

    Peachapple16
    Account closed

    Good heavens, I'm so envious - wish I'd slept with a triple digit number of men! If I only had the looks and the freedom I'd have a different man every night of the week. Who wants boring sex and stale, repetitive monogamy?
    >4w
    • LovetoGush

      LovetoGush
      52F VIC,
       AU

      I don't have a great body, wouldn't say I'm not attractive though. It's all about confidence in yourself. Some weeks I have had a different guy every night, sometimes more than one!!!
      >4w
    • Melody2973

      Melody2973
      Account closed

      That's a lot of information that I wouldn't share :), sleeping with tons of men isn't something to brag about :(
      >4w
    • trusted8

      trusted8
      64M VIC,
       AU

      Miss Peachapple.... as long as you enjoy those which you experience, its nothing to do with numbers..but it does conjure up those lovely thoughts that you are a very willing participant and I'm sure after those who read this, the available guys will be offering their services to you and you may need to employ a secretary to manage your incoming messages.
      >4w
    • VaginalDischrge

      VaginalDischrge
      Account closed

      Mskitty16 - Don't listen to the judgmental people on here. Its a public forum with your identity hidden, so share away. In this day and age, you'd think the witch hunt for openly sexual liberated women to be over, but its not, not even on a sex site! Its always the jealous woman putting down other women!
      >4w
    • Melody2973

      Melody2973
      Account closed

      Definitely not jealous just don't think it's necessary to tell anyone the number. It's as tacky as the ' validation ' system on here :(
      >4w
    • AMM.Editor

      AMM.Editor
      Staff Account

      @Melody2973 the "Validation" system is to prove that the person behind the profile is genuine and real, it's not a "9 out of 10 'cos she gave me a terrific blowjob". If you don't think it's a good idea then don't use it but it's a feature we're proud of adding as it's yet another way for our members to weed out the fakes.
      >4w
    • StandHardMember

      StandHardMember
      Account closed

      Yeah except people make up fake profiles and then validate there real profiles with them.can pick them a mile away,usually have 3 or 4 pics but they're all the same pic,sometimes if you look close you can see American style power points in the background so they're not even pics from here.
      >4w
    • AMM.Editor

      AMM.Editor
      Staff Account

      @icanseeu7310 but unlike other sites they can only post a Validation if they're verified or have been a financial member and in our experience very few want to pay to do that.
      >4w
    Reply
  • LovetoGush

    LovetoGush
    52F VIC,
     AU

    I'm in triple digits too and most of them have been in the last three years! I say enjoy yourself whilst you can :)
    >4w
    Reply
  • tallguy1965

    tallguy1965
    Account closed

    Omg why would anyone ask that question and why(unless you where 18 even think about keeping a tab?
    Sounds very self centred even bring the question up let alone been able the answer it if you are an older person
    >4w
    • Melody2973

      Melody2973
      Account closed

      Keeping count is tacky I think :(
      >4w
    • Austphil

      Austphil
      Account closed

      I actually can not answer "it" but just what gives you the right to insult people who want to keep track? I did for the first 120 and I wish i still did. There is nothing wrong with being able to remember people. Sex has been a huge part of my life. If you were into any other activity and kept track, the prudes would leave you alone.
      >4w
    Reply
  • NaghtyBartender

    NaghtyBartender
    Account closed

    proud being a whore....at least 50 men and women :)
    >4w
    Reply
  • HORNYSYDMAN

    HORNYSYDMAN
    Account closed

    Lost count lol who cares anyway just enjoy it while you can we only live once
    >4w
    Reply
  • PeteyBoy05

    PeteyBoy05
    52M Hurstville, NSW,
     AU

    only about 3.
    its the way this world is going.
    people are always playing with their phones and
    ipads they dont want to date anymore.
    i cant get any females to talk to me.
    its a sad world.
    >4w
    Reply
  • cbdlivin

    cbdlivin
    60M Canberra, ACT,
     AU

    I find its better not to discuss, or I usually quote lower number as once when I worked it out in round numbers people give me funny looks, but in the end I have just had a really active and fun life....personally I do not care how many people a partner has slept with though if really low I know to go slowly, no use frightening them :-)
    >4w
    Reply
  • frustration.

    frustration.
    54M Wellington, NSW,
     AU

    ha ha i must be close to one of a kind ...less than 5 ....
    >4w
    Reply
  • inkedseductress

    inkedseductress
    Account closed

    I'm well into triple digits
    >4w
    Reply
  • RubyCheeks

    RubyCheeks
    59F Sydney, NSW,
     AU

    Thank You Emma
    Wonderful article about busting stereotypes. No matter the number, each experience offers something to our life, be it good or bad. Gone are the days of virginity till marriage(there are exceptions) and these experiences can enrich relationships. However one thing that still gets lost in sex, is how important open communication is. Articles such as yours start opening thought and therefore communication.
    >4w
    Reply
  • BabygalAphrodit

    BabygalAphrodit
    Account closed

    I'm proud of my triple digit number!
    >4w
    Reply
  • Slimshaddy

    Slimshaddy
    Account closed

    Im sick of all these stereotypes, Its no ones buisness how many people women sleep with. I for one love mature older women; part of the reson is because i feel they have more experience both mentially and sexually.. So i dont understand the Double edged sword ;Dalmed if you do Dalmed if you dont; stuff that, bring on the love i say??
    >4w
    Reply
  • 1Hornyone

    1Hornyone
    50M Nelson Bay, NSW,
     AU

    Who cares
    >4w
    Reply
  • Melody2973

    Melody2973
    Account closed

    Really not anyone's business is it ?? :))
    >4w
    Reply
  • allinmymind

    allinmymind
    61F Wodonga, VIC,
     AU

    I was waiting for the definition of "slept with" to help us count lol
    >4w
    Reply
  • trusted8

    trusted8
    64M VIC,
     AU

    For some, its a conquest to total the numbers. For others, its just a matter of circumstances that lead to one being with several different partners, generally over a long period of time. Its not for anyone to judge another and only for one to judge themselves, if needed. For myself, its been the exploration,understanding and experience shared in the journey and interestingly enough, about how diverse I have been with different partners. In all cases, a fun time. Thank you Emma for provoking this topic.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Sweetangelic3

    Sweetangelic3
    54F Wodonga, VIC,
     AU

    I agree the numbers are irrelevant, playing is playing and the experience is all about the moment. I am in triple digits also and enjoy the openess of others the same.. So long as i get checked regularly for STI's (every 3 months) regardless of female/male partners, i will continue to enjoy. Fantastic article
    >4w
    Reply
  • Intimit1

    Intimit1
    Account closed

    Quite agree Emma. If my partner has had more partners than I, so what? She chooses to be with me & I choose to be with her. I've found that my female partners are more interested in the number than I am. One, like you, has kept a diary & a star system to rate the sex. I've never asked where I sat on her scale as it is irrelevant to how we interact as a couple or enjoy each other sexually. And we do!
    >4w
    Reply
  • Uniqueguyhere

    Uniqueguyhere
    48M Townsville, QLD,
     AU

    I think it's very sad that some people judge you on how many partners you have had. Especially when you have already had wonderful experiences with them. I started younger than most and every partner was special.
    I honestly can't remember all the names of the women I have snuggled up with but it's around the 200 mark. It's important to accept people for who they are and not what they are. At the end of the day we all want to be treated with respect and be happy. Stay safe and have fun everyone :-)
    >4w
    Reply
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