5 Things Porn Gets Wrong About Real Sex

Adult Match Maker on 31 August 2015    64 comments
Cucumber being measured against a ruler to indicate penis length

Porn is basically a grown up version of a fairy tale. When we’re little we watch princesses meet handsome princes and ride off into the sunset. As it turns out, real life doesn’t quite live up to the same standard.

The same goes for porn. 

Obviously, there’s no way in hell we’d stop watching it, but we really need to point out some things that porn gets wrong when it comes to real sex. 

Everyone coming at the same time

Please! This is about as common as finding a magic unicorn in the forest who will make all your dreams come true. If this is something you and a playmate or partner have perfected, we bow down to you. We’d even start a slow clap. 

In real life, we’re usually just aiming for everyone to come, never mind trying to synchronise our orgasms. 

Back-and-forth rapid thrusting

So at least there is some truth in this one, but they’re really stretching it pretty far with those ongoing scenes of intense thrusting. 

Are they all Olympians? Where do they get their stamina? Is there some special machine at the gym that helps you practice your thrusts and build up your thrust muscles? And what happened to all the other sex moves most people pull in real life? 

Excessive moans/screams

You know when you watch a tennis match, and the players let out these massive grunts and groans and screams every time they smack the ball? Porn can be a bit like that, except it’s just about every time they smack someone’s ass, or thrust, or so much as lick a nipple. 

For a reality check, grunts and screams do happen in sex. Just not always (some people are just quiet, it doesn’t mean they’re not loving every minute of it). Plus, real sex noises tend to occur as you build towards a climax! 

Lots of editing

Where can we go to get someone to edit our sex lives? Porn makes it all looks so glamorous and sexy, and definitely not anything like your usual Saturday night hookup.

We can only assume the editing process takes out any awkward moments where the guy’s dick slips out during thrusting and needs to be reinserted, or when you have that moment of misunderstanding as you change positions and both move towards something different, or even just when you have to stand awkwardly as you hop out of tight jeans. Either that, or these porn stars really are some kind of alien life form. 

Phenomenal physiques

Did you see those abs though? How about that perfectly round tight ass? And seriously, you rarely see cocks that big in real life. 

Porn actors keep in some serious shape, and there’s never a set of unshaved legs or wayward pimple in sight. In reality, nobody actually expects playmates to look like this, and no one really cares, either - so long as the sex is good! 

On a more serious note, porn has unfortunately become a sex educator for our younger generation who are influenced by these unrealistic images and performances.  Young women just starting their sexual adventures feel obligated to agree to anal sex, young men struggle with the concept of intimacy and expect partners to act like pornstars, it's created an obsession for the removal of body hair, and a massive surge in plastic surgery in search of the designer vagina. And unfortunately porn viewers can develop feelings of low self esteem and sexual inadequacy. 

Porn directors, we can’t blame you for taking a few creative liberties with porn. Of course we would love for our own sex lives to look a little more similar your idealistic flicks. And to be fair, as soon as we hit that play button, we’re usually too preoccupied to care much about the details! 

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Comments (64)

  • Clickable

    Clickable
    53M Carlton North, VIC,
     AU

    Interesting piece! A salutary reminder of how porn raises sexual expectations.
    Personally I've always thought the closest thing to a female vagina in the food world is a sun-dried tomato.
    >4w
    Reply
  • triXXXi66

    triXXXi66
    58F 58M SA,
     AU

    Very funny food comparisons... Still laughing! Whats the percentage of people who have eaten food off a naked body as a part of a sex act? Mmmmmm
    >4w
    • hotguyyes

      hotguyyes
      Account closed

      I have. Yum :)
      >4w
    • funlover521

      funlover521
      Account closed

      I haven't but would love too.
      >4w
    • WombRaider181

      WombRaider181
      Account closed

      Not so much as off but out a women,mmmmmm
      >4w
    • FoxDen.HQ

      FoxDen.HQ
      Account closed

      I was introduced years ago to the act of a female putting cut & hulled strawberries into her vagina. (So, not off, but in.) They don't mysteriously 'go' anywhere, but it's a hell of a lot of fun licking and sucking them out of it....plus, you get the sweetest smelling and tasty 'fruit-basket' you could ever hope for! As 'George' would say: "YUMMY!" ;)
      >4w
    • Koala_josh

      Koala_josh
      Account closed

      I dont know the thought of me eating a big breakfast of bacon and eggs and hash browns, tomatos, sausage and black pudding of my wifes body is not a good thought .lol
      >4w
    • LadyDragon

      LadyDragon
      Account closed

      Try taking a mouthful of Cointreau then a mouthful of cock... Yum IS the word I'd use, but he said it stings!
      >4w
    • Iween1

      Iween1
      Account closed

      Can of dairy whip is always in my fridge. Yummyyyy off the torso and other delish places on the young male body
      >4w
    • Elliebabe22

      Elliebabe22
      Account closed

      I love to lick nutella of shaven cock & balls & yes, it does take some licking ;)
      >4w
    • nortynewbies

      nortynewbies
      Account closed

      LadyDragon, yes you gotta be careful of Cointreau. My favourite drink, I poured some onto my lover so I could lick it off, he was very unimpressed said it burned, not a good thing o do in the middle of a love making session
      >4w
    Reply
  • Marygold

    Marygold
    64F Ashbury, NSW,
     AU

    Sad that we are so preoccupied by how we look that we inhibit our own ability to enjoy intimacy with another human being. Thank you for a great reality check.
    >4w
    Reply
  • GMan1979

    GMan1979
    45M Bairnsdale, VIC,
     AU

    I think you mean cum, not come, unless you have a lot of people arrive while you are having sex.
    >4w
    • AMM.Editor

      AMM.Editor
      Staff Account

      Not to get technical but "cum" is only ever used as a noun. So you can get cum on your face but you got it there after coming. We had to look it up too. lol
      >4w
    Reply
  • XKevXXX

    XKevXXX
    Account closed

    Ok I'm scratching my head in confusion... I consider my sex life to be awsum,,, Either iv watched way to much porn and always thought I should have been in porn but I do all of the above... I guess fitness and control is what makes sex so much better...
    Please don't think I'm trying to big note because I'm serious..
    >4w
    Reply
  • Masterplussub

    Masterplussub
    53M 51F NSW,
     AU

    To have sex for hours men is easy if you can work your pelvic floor and just take your time slow your breath down take it as if your going for a 2 hour walk steady pace .
    Any way that my secret .
    >4w
    Reply
  • Marceline

    Marceline
    Account closed

    I always have a giggle at the guys that email saying i can fuck like a porn star with my 9' cock.... 9'? Get that bloody thing away from me!
    As for food comparisons oysters are pretty damn close.... :D
    >4w
    Reply
  • phillg45

    phillg45
    80M Burpengary, QLD,
     AU

    How long does it take an average male to reach orgasm? I've read 2mins. They certainly stretch the 2 mins out don't they?
    >4w
    • charlotte.xxx

      charlotte.xxx
      Account closed

      You'd hope not. I mean, unless both people are into short and sweet, but a 2 minute performance in my world (or 5, or 10) is a fast track to getting kicked through the front door of my house and told never to call me again... haha.
      Literally seems like a complete waste of time.
      >4w
    Reply
  • hotwater52

    hotwater52
    Account closed

    In the early years I ate a banana that my wife inserted in her pussy for ...
    The nite just got really out of control...made our daughter that nite....
    >4w
    Reply
  • bouncingsoulism

    bouncingsoulism
    54F Brisbane, QLD,
     AU

    The video clip, an oldie but a goldie, always makes me laugh.
    >4w
    Reply
  • daybreak1965

    daybreak1965
    59M 57F Donvale, VIC,
     AU

    3 minutes, not this little black duck...in there lies one of the secrets of lovemaking for a man, control...whatever it takes, slowing down, stopping altogether, thinking of some very non sexual things. For me once the initial urge has passed I can last for.....quite a while, it's hard to say without sounding like a dick...pardon the pun.
    >4w
    Reply
  • micklick69

    micklick69
    Account closed

    on not coming together....the male must hold back and blow when she blows....or get her so worked up she will come within minutes of penetration.....good sex isn't all about the individual.....boys you must make sure she always cummmms...
    >4w
    Reply
  • stratostar11

    stratostar11
    72M North Plympton, SA,
     AU

    I'm not saying porn is for real but it does give a lead to whats a turn on.
    Simply trying a little more audible response can mean a knock at the motel door and
    a chesser cat smile as the situation is worked out.
    lol.
    >4w
    Reply
  • monstercockdom

    monstercockdom
    Account closed

    I'm blown away ... I find porn boring and the lack of stamina and real female orgasms alarming ... The cocks mostly aren't that big ( fish eyed lense helps tho ) and I've never ever had quiet sex with anyone ...
    Many many many eras of Human existence have had hairless bodies ( mainly female but some male ) occur thruout history Blaming porn for this is just not based in reality. we all love many things and I've had women see me despite hating hair and I certainly don't mind hair on a woman either if it's looked after lol. Also cumming together is incredibly easy if u as a guy wait till she's cum as much as she is going to handle and u then cum with her last real big one .... I mean where's the rocket science there ..!?
    I think the writers infused too much of their own sexlife into the story and wondered well away from how varied sexlives are ... But a tip of the hat for putting your opinions out there and getting me ( someone who never comments on anything ever ) to actually comment on something ...
    >4w
    Reply
  • SACunningham

    SACunningham
    52M Carrum Downs, VIC,
     AU

    So funny.... Poor cucumber getting the "snip" like that
    >4w
    Reply
  • wokkaa

    wokkaa
    Account closed

    Well I work away and only get home 1 week out 4-6 I tell you the first time we get to time to our selves it's finished in 5 min very intense.
    But by the end the week, don't time it as go on the feel and touch of being with a woman can go on far ages the feeling touching and kissing and all though out the house, don't realy think about porn just enjoy the company of a real woman.
    Only get into the porn when I'm away in my room with Miss Palmer and k-y
    >4w
    Reply
  • blondebarbie30

    blondebarbie30
    41F Marmion, WA,
     AU

    yes this whole article is so true !! the amount of times the dick falls out ha ha
    >4w
    Reply
  • Marceline

    Marceline
    Account closed

    Hahahaha at the guys advertising the hell out of themselves.
    >4w
    Reply
  • easeytime

    easeytime
    80M 71F South Townsville, QLD,
     AU

    nothing like a GOOD porn movie but not a lot around in fact dont watch a lot now, my wife has gone of them a bit not quite realistic. If there was a bit of passion in the scenes like shows on fox and free to air although they cant show the good bits porn would be good in our eyes
    >4w
    Reply
  • Iween1

    Iween1
    Account closed

    Porn is often boring and too ordinary. Hate sound affects that aren't often matching the action. Amateur stuff then can be better. I key in words of what I like to see and it is never male and female acts. I like my real time activity better anyway. I vary it up safely with other sex positive partners and well, I have got it made.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Lord Richard

    Lord Richard
    67M Kempsey, NSW,
     AU

    Nothing wrong with coming 2,3, 4 or times is there?
    >4w
    Reply
  • TasteLikeSugar

    TasteLikeSugar
    37M Joondalup, WA,
     AU

    On the other hand it's quite possible that guys and girls take care of their physique because it's not such a bad thing to look and feel super fit, and that it has nothing to do with bedroom performance. The pornstar sex you CAN have is just a welcome bonus... And I've never seen a vagina I wouldn't put my mouth on :)
    >4w
    • Melody2973

      Melody2973
      Account closed

      Agreed, I saw this man who swims not off AMM and his stamina was incredible :), in fact no one has ever come close again ;(, inspired me to get fitter that's for sure ;)
      >4w
    Reply
  • nqsensualgent

    nqsensualgent
    75M Townsville, QLD,
     AU

    I agree totally. Basically I call MF porn "In & out" movies as there is rarely any story to it except a rapid removal of clothes (no underwear is worn) & a few licks, some sucking & then into it! The women often have boobs that are obviously "doctored". And quite a few men seem to have soft but enormous cocks - but they still get in? Am I missing something here? I prefer FF movies as they tend to have more of a story to it & mostly the women are natural.
    Still when one is alone & wants to get off, it is a good turn-on!
    >4w
    Reply
  • real17

    real17
    66M 65F Maroochydore, QLD,
     AU

    How true.
    It is a shame that younger porn viewers do get the idea that "porn-style" sex is the norm. That bench mark is just too high. My wife and I do enjoy "porn-style" sex... but it has taken us many years of pushing our boundaries and experimenting to get there. A beautiful, long journey.
    >4w
    Reply
  • RydeHard

    RydeHard
    Account closed

    Guys normally cum a lot quicker than women.. I find a lot of foreplay to excite beforehand can often make simultaneous cumming quite easy...
    >4w
    Reply
  • Luckyus2

    Luckyus2
    58M 58F Ballarat, VIC,
     AU

    What a brilliant set of analogies. That's a great weeks work for someone.
    I'm off to eat my apricot.
    >4w
    Reply
  • ageinghot

    ageinghot
    60M Yarraville, VIC,
     AU

    The fantasies of porn movies are why they have been so successful, and whilst I have enjoyed a long and mostly rewarding sex life I do seek to replicate many of these scenes for myself at some time before I'm physically incapable. However as a real world participant in sex I find the long hard thrusting, spanking and excessive screams in many porn flicks a turn-off which has driven me to watching home made amateur and reality porn when I take time to surf the net or watch a vids. Whilst porn is very subjective to the viewers taste I find people who talk, fumble and laugh in between their moments of unscripted pleasure and delight to be so much sexier and a greater turn-on than any over produced fantasy flick I've ever seen. And yes I've had the pleasure of eating and drinking off my lovers body - its great!
    >4w
    Reply
  • Vale.Couple

    Vale.Couple
    Account closed

    Excellent reminder to us all of the real fun bits missing from the porn - hopping about on one leg trying to get your pants off, did I get my socks off or am I really a BIG black man...lol
    Good stuff
    >4w
    • THORGODOFTHUNDE

      THORGODOFTHUNDE
      Account closed

      Porn misses out capturing the fun of sex, the fart, the cramp or the air escaping vagina silliness kind of things that real people ENJOY. Xx
      >4w
    Reply
  • allinmymind

    allinmymind
    61F Wodonga, VIC,
     AU

    11% of women have had a same sex experience, you would think in the chatroom we all have. Some men in there insist that all girls have played with boobs and kissed each other and can still call themselves straight. I am more like a mango but I wouldn't know. I would like to try a larger cock. There are quite a few large cocks on cam on amm. A couple of guys have told me they thrust a lot and get sore. I am practising coming quicker for a decent cybersex session where the guy actually gets to see me come and that is going well, or maybe amm chat room is just very good at foreplay.
    >4w
    Reply
  • mrmeaner39

    mrmeaner39
    Account closed

    the uncomfortable positions they get themselves into and still perform without cramping their hammys or something, and yeah all that stamina, always wondered about that.
    >4w
    Reply
  • WellhungGuySyd.

    WellhungGuySyd.
    48M Newtown, NSW,
     AU

    Professional porn is just that, made by guys on viagra with big cocks, with women who are sexy as because thats what most of us want to watch. They're filmed over multiple days to just get an amazing 60 mins of hardcore fucking and loads of cum.
    The real world can be a lot different, but it doesn't have to be that way. I enjoy doing real porn like sessions, enjoy the dirty talk, the rollplay and the making of home made porn with partners when its appropriate. I find it really sexy when a partner is confident and adventurous with there body and likes to fuck like they're being filmed and have fun doing it. The issue of size has never been a problem even tho I'm over 20 cm and thick, women have always been able to accommodate me. Especially over longer sessions. I do agree that it's not the size that matters, but how you use it that really counts. But it is possible for one to be very well hung and also know how to use it and well that's a bonus for everyone involved.
    >4w
    Reply
  • whisky69

    whisky69
    54M Brisbane, QLD,
     AU

    I think porn is for wankers would rather make it than watch it
    >4w
    Reply
  • tastetester61

    tastetester61
    63M Goulburn, NSW,
     AU

    I always thought I was a bit slow. It always takes me 20 minutes plus to cum, always has. I hope that's not a bad thing for anyone. I like a lot of foreplay too, so there's plenty of stimulation, I just take a long time to cum.
    >4w
    Reply
  • justforfun558

    justforfun558
    Account closed

    Yeah true. I met a man who worked with another cameraman on a porn shoot. He told me lots. Its like really? No, this does not really happen. The edit part, well, he said it looks like the guy is going on & on & on & on.... but not true. He told me what they do is shoot a bit, then they break, and even if the guy cums, they wait for him to get hard again. It's not just one long, long sex session, but they play, and stop, play and stop, and the film guys make it look like it's just one long session where the guy has this enormous stamina. Since he told me what he did, it's fun to watch, but not as real as you think.
    >4w
    Reply
  • nautycol

    nautycol
    Account closed

    Not only do we get an unrealistic perception of sex from porn movies, but the whole media scene is absolute crap.
    Reality shows !!!!!!!! fucking hell, no wonder we have a whole generation of misfits with distorted views on relationships growing up in our society.
    And sex itself, doesn't always need intercourse to be involved, as exploring and finding all the girls "buttons" and turning them on till she climax's I is as big a turn on for me as having a "root".
    >4w
    Reply
  • Melody2973

    Melody2973
    Account closed

    Porn I think is for people that lack imagination. I guess you might see the odd interesting thing on there but basically it's as boring as hell :)
    >4w
    Reply
  • meandyou699

    meandyou699
    Account closed

    Gives you a false sense that the plumber is going to show up in 10 mins
    >4w
    Reply
  • jenoo1

    jenoo1
    41M Sinnamon Park, QLD,
     AU

    I have no problem with thrusting. Its not a myth, just requires you to be fit and strong?
    Also wanted to say for all those people saying "porn isn't a real representation of sex" the people are actually having sex and enjoying it for the most part. It's just not a complete representation of sex, but like sex, porn too comes in many styles and genres. Which genre of porn are you referring to?
    If you watch a movie, read a book, play games on your phone, listen to music, go to the theatre, use social media or are on this website, these are all incomplete or fantastic representations of reality. Porn is no different, so treat it as such and enjoy! (with a grain of salt)
    >4w
    Reply
  • Shyner

    Shyner
    Account closed

    How quick can a bloke back up to fire his second load? How quickly can a woman orgasm again? How long is a piece of string? The only answer is is they're all different .... Porn is the one size (very large ) fits all ; reality is one size fits f**k all .That's my rave
    >4w
    Reply
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