The Down and Dirty on Dirty Talk

Adult Match Maker on 7 April 2015    16 comments
Woman whispering dirty talk into her partner's ear

So you're capable of commanding an entire room at a party, but you're completely gun-shy when it comes to engaging in some blush-worthy pillow talk when the lights turn low. We can't entirely blame you! Many of us get our first exposure to dirty talk through poorly scripted porn or erotic fiction that's downright laughable.

While it's entirely possible that it's simply not your cup of tea, you'll never know your potential to become a spoken-word Casanova until you embrace the potential awkwardness and give it a go.

On self-consciousness

It's comforting to know that a lot of the things people say to each other in the heat of the moment look a little ridiculous on paper. And while it’s inevitable that at some point you’ll say something that sounds a bit awkward, sex should be fun, so laugh it off and get back to business.

And what sounds goofy to one partner might make someone else hot. There's no one-size-fits-all formula and it's about finding out what pushes your partner's buttons. Remember that dirty talk isn't disrespectful, it's behind doors sex play. Dirty talk can be fun because it gives you the opportunity to immerse yourself in an experience where the usual rules and limits don't apply.

Breaking the ice

Shyness is usually the biggest barrier for most people when it comes to talking dirty. Before you launch into it make sure you have the conversation with your sexual partner and gauge their comfort level and establish some boundaries. Ask them if there are any words or phrases they're not ok with. Even simple things like preferring "dick" or "penis". There is no magic formula, everyone is different.

Ok, so you've had the discussion, you know the limits - that's the easy part. How do you know what to say?

Subtlety can be massively sexy when you're just warming up, so start with some soft-core (tamer) lines and then build up to the real sheet clutching material as you gain confidence.

Soft-core dirty talk is all about using phrases you're familiar with and a seductive tone to start setting the scene. Ease into it by describing what you're doing. "I love it when you ...", "I'm going to ...", "I'd really love you to ..."

This type of dirty talk may not seem too wild, but dirty talk doesn't have to be vulgar and if you’re used to keeping mum in the bedroom, then this is a really simple technique to try. And remember, it's not just what you say it's how you say it. The tone of your voice and the speed you deliver the line can make a huge difference in delivering your lines effectively.

Get inspired

Let's assume that since you've read this far, you're eager to add some scandalous one-liners to your repertoire.

Dirty talk usually involves one of the following things:

  • Telling someone what you want to do to them or have them do to you: "You'll be begging me to put my cock inside you after I've finished eating your pussy."
  • Talking about how good [given sexy action] feels or how much you love what they're doing: "I love the sounds you make when you're just about to come. It really turns me on."
  • Complimenting your partner on their body or sexual prowess: "You really know what you’re doing with that tongue!”
  • Role play, sexual fantasies or pushing boundaries beyond vanilla sex: "I think I should spank that sweet ass of yours 'cos you've been naughty!"
  • Reliving shared sexual experiences: "Remember when we went to dinner and I didn't wear panties. I was so fucking wet by the time we got back to your place."

And we might be talking about oral sex (pardon the pun) but don't forget eye contact as you tell him "I'm going to take your cock in my mouth and show you what a dirty little slut I can be!" will totally push most guys over the edge.

Remember to be descriptive, be creative and watch for the clues to see what is and isn't working. If your partner groans every time you mention spanking or restraining him/her during sex then take the cue and push those boundaries. Dirty talk might be an art but being able to back it up is a gift.

Most importantly, have fun and relax! Your dirty talk will only succeed if you allow yourself to giggle when something doesn’t come out right.

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Likes & Comments

Comments (16)

  • looking1103

    looking1103
    61F Gold Coast, QLD,
     AU

    im just embarking on something along these lines and not that i have a poor imagination but i would realllllly love to hear some sentences and stories that people use to "keep it all alive" when theyre not together, scenario's, write it alllll for me, please (and thank you)!!!
    >4w
    Reply
  • Motoman79

    Motoman79
    Account closed

    Loved the article as the women in the relationship
    I'd love it if someone used the C word with me
    When I'm extremely aroused I would just get more turned on having someone talk to me like that
    >4w
    Reply
  • Trythishard1

    Trythishard1
    55M Paralowie, SA,
     AU

    Saying " Cunt " and " Cock " whilst having sex is a huge turn on for me . Even more so if a female uses those words . Same goes for " dirty little slut " etc . The word " pussy " is far too tame for me . If someone said they wanted to suck my " penis " I would probably laugh .
    >4w
    Reply
  • pleasingcple

    pleasingcple
    54M 51F Elizabeth, SA,
     AU

    My partner likes it when I say I'm his filthy dirty slut whore. It turns him on something wild. He gets hard just hearing it.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Iween1

    Iween1
    Account closed

    I ask questions with a little eye contact. 'Do you want me to suck on that divine penis'? 'Let me taste that drip of cum'. 'I like how sweet it tastes'. Feedback is powerful. The male gets an extra measure of hardness with the mere suggestion whether to suck or not. The mind is the first organ of sex. It ought to be included in the bedroom as well as of course, for initial flirting up large.
    >4w
    Reply
  • KaifraDuet

    KaifraDuet
    Account closed

    There is nothing wrong with cunt - or its diminutive, cunny - as a word. It's what we have done to it that is wrong. A bit of trivia: coney (pronounced as in money) was the old word for rabbit, a rabbit being a baby coney. Polite society began to use rabbit for both when London prostitutes began to use a pun when publicising their services: "No money, no coney". The affectionate term for cunt was cunny: an old book I once read contained terms of endearment for cunts and cocks, one being Johnny Plough Cunny.
    >4w
    Reply
  • SomeSex4UnMe

    SomeSex4UnMe
    67T Ripley, QLD,
     AU

    I love to use dirty talk,not just during sex but as a means of foreplay. I am very descriptive in my words and I enjoy letting a Lady know what I like. I also like to hear from her what she wants me to do to her. As for the C and F words I would never use them unless my partner asked me to, personally I find it hard to say because I am an old fashioned gentleman,and as such I never use them in front of females. But I can make up for it with descriptive words and get turned on and very steamy especially if my partner is just as good as I am in letting me know what she wants,how she wants her pussy eaten or her tits played with or even just how to touch each other and caress or cuddle up and let our hands do the talking for us.
    >4w
    Reply
  • OhhhMax

    OhhhMax
    Account closed

    I sometimes think the (late-RIP) Ritchie Benaud principle applies here...where the less said, the better. Let the visuals and the mood dictate what happens...with words as merely seasoning or sweetening the moment. As for the "cunt" word...I was once with this women who begged me to slap her "cunt" as a prelude to intercourse.....it was a massive turn on as it was the first time I had ever been asked to do that.
    >4w
    Reply
  • serg685

    serg685
    Account closed

    Sure enough dirty talking gets things hot but I rather like the talking and then the backing up to that dirty talking makes things more interesting,,if no sounds to much shit ,I prefer the real thing!!
    >4w
    Reply
  • 4u2cUS

    4u2cUS
    70M 78F Ashfield, NSW,
     AU

    I wholly agree with suzuquatro's comment. I love to use the c word as part of talking dirty to my partner during sex. Its a real turn on for me and I find it so evocative during the heat of passion. But I feel extremely uncomfortable with the c word outside the bedroom.
    >4w
    Reply
  • dutchy99

    dutchy99
    61M Sydney, NSW,
     AU

    I like to call my missus a filthy dirty whore... because she is lol.
    >4w
    Reply
  • suziquatro

    suziquatro
    Account closed

    I love using the C word. Using it to refer to that part of the anatomy,( not referring to a person as a c...) Is an absolute turn on. I hate to use pussy when I actually mean c...
    I must say that I reserve this word for sexual encounters only - it does not feature in my everyday conversation
    >4w
    Reply
  • Letsenjoymore

    Letsenjoymore
    63M Newcomb, VIC,
     AU

    being vocal to me is important its something we should keep doing to overcome the old uncomfortable ways, i love to tell my lady all my sexy detail and also her her tell me with groans etc its makes it all that much more real and exciting.
    >4w
    Reply
  • looking4some53

    looking4some53
    70M 67F Cessnock, NSW,
     AU

    agree with the article, yes the c word can be harsh, I find it's best kept till when she's red hot & you can do anything with her, use it too early & it can turn her off, just my experience with my partner, but once I use it & she likes it, it makes me harder again
    >4w
    Reply
  • bundaberger

    bundaberger
    Account closed

    I agree about wanting to use the C word but find it to be a much more sexual word than pussy which sounds kind of well.....pussy
    >4w
    Reply
  • DTF30plus

    DTF30plus
    Account closed

    A very good article, thankyou. I'm a fan of dirty talk and use it very often. But, even I have a hard time dropping words on people. I'd like to use the word C@#T when fucking a lady. But, it seems so vulgar and taboo that I feel uncomfortable writing the word! Lol.
    >4w
    Reply
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