The Bottom Line on Anal Sex Taboos

Eva Sless Eva Sless on 27 January 2015    35 comments
Woman removing her denim shorts to reveal a white gstring

It's funny isn't it... In this modern world of sex sex sex, with half naked pop stars riding on giant wrecking balls, TV shows where people have actual sex in a box in front of a live studio audience, and a highly graphic story of BDSM becoming an international bestseller, that we still find it “taboo” and “naughty” to talk about anal sex. I find this particularly interesting because, according to the Adult Match Maker Under the Covers Sex Survey, in which over seven thousand people responded, fantasising about anal sex was almost right up the top. Ahead of porn, ahead of swinging and role play, and on absolute par with sex toys, and almost half of all women respondents admitted to enjoying it.

But, in spite of this, for some reason there just seems to be something inherently “bad” about it and talking about it, or admitting you do it and like it, is just not done.

Well screw that! Regardless of whether or not you have done it, want to do it, enjoy it or don't there is absolutely nothing weird or freaky or wrong about it at all. Okay, so it might not be everyone's cup of tea, but then neither is a cup of tea and you don't get people calling you a kinky weirdo if you prefer coffee.

Anal sex is just as normal, and can be just as enjoyable, as any sex act. It's about the individual's choice and personal preferences. Male or female, straight, gay, bi whatever. It has nothing to do with being gay. Nothing to do with being strange. Nothing to do with anything but the enjoyment of a sexual act that makes you feel good. And it really can feel good!

There are hundreds of nerve endings in the anus that can be aroused during anal sex. The tightness of the fit and the angle in which you're penetrated can also stimulate nerve endings and areas inside the vagina. The male prostate, which is located inside the anus, is a treasure trove of pleasure and sexual enjoyment for a guy and, yes I'll admit it, the whole taboo side of it, as much as it is unnecessary and unwarranted, can be a very powerful aphrodisiac indeed.

We've all heard the horror stories. The pain, the mess, the susceptibility of STIs and yes, these things aren't made up boogyman stories, they're true... But they aren't the be all and end all, and there are ways to prevent these things from ruining your experience.

Take it slow, like really really slow. Use lots of lube. Start small with fingers or toys. Work yourself up to full penetration. Play around with angles and positions. If one feels too tight or uncomfortable, try something else.

Empty your bowels beforehand and have a shower to clean around the entrance. A healthy person will rarely have poo left in the anal cavity after it's been expelled but, if you're really worried, you can douche the area to ease your mind.

Always wear a condom and remember, when swapping between anal and vaginal sex the condom must be changed. Getting bacteria from the anus into the vagina is a huge health risk and can cause all sorts of problems. And make sure any toys you use are cleaned with a proper toy cleaner.

There is so much more we could go into but my articles aren't a detailed "how to" guide, I just want to make your toes tingle and I love writing about these topics which just don't get talked about enough.

Honestly, it's time to take away the taboo, the embarrassment, the shame. If it's something you're into then go ahead! Do it! Enjoy it! Revel in it! Don't let anyone else dictate to you what is sexy or enjoyable. It's your sex life, your orgasm... No buts about it!

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Comments (35)

  • jasonfornewfun

    jasonfornewfun
    Account closed

    you can not compare any other orgasm , when you have your sex partners cock inside your anus when your cumming , there is one other ultiment anal orgasm.
    when your sex partner cums inside you as you are having amazing anal orgasm at same time,
    the feeling of hot cum filling up inside your anus is out of this world sex
    >4w
    Reply
  • WellhungGuySyd.

    WellhungGuySyd.
    48M Newtown, NSW,
     AU

    I really enjoy giving anal sex, from experience I find that if the other person is more relaxed, uses lots of lube and has their ass teased and worked over gently before hand, that can make a huge difference.
    I also have a lady friend that always makes herself cum while I'm giving her anal, with her on her back, ass on the end of the bed/ table / chair , legs spread and her rubbing herself with her hand and sometimes with a vibrating dildo. She says the combined feeling is amazing.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Rockyman1960

    Rockyman1960
    56M Mackay, QLD,
     AU

    A few women I have known have not been keen initially but generally because they believed they shouldn't admit to the intrigue. I have never had anal sex with a woman who hasn't at least enjoyed it and occasionally preferred it. I agree that you need to go slow and stretch gently - tongue, fingers, lube, maybe toy before cock ... but then fees so good for both - unfortunately I still can't last very long once my cock is deep inside that tight, yummy cavity!!
    >4w
    Reply
  • doolittle919

    doolittle919
    Account closed

    Best root I`ve ever had, it should be compulsory
    >4w
    Reply
  • singlegal25

    singlegal25
    Account closed

    Love it!
    >4w
    Reply
  • iamhorney333

    iamhorney333
    80M Sydney, NSW,
     AU

    anal sex has been practiced in Europe and especially in the middle east when a girl wants to keep her boyfriend and still be a virgin on her wedding day for her husband
    >4w
    Reply
  • Leolady727

    Leolady727
    Account closed

    I really enjoy anal, but don't put it on my list of interests. This is because I once had a message from a guy saying "So, will I be wiping sh*t off my dick" - I found this extremely revolting and disrespectful. Some men on this site should stick to cheap hookers - that's all they deserve.
    >4w
    Reply
  • DeliciousEva

    DeliciousEva
    48F Reservoir, VIC,
     AU

    For 4Erioed
    Normalising is such a loaded word. Because it lends itself to the idea that it is otherwise "abnormal" and that's simply not the case.
    You know, people used to carry on about "normalising" pre-marital sex or homosexuality or other sexual practices that are deemed "taboo".
    The key issue in any sexual contact and experience is consent. If the people you are meeting/sleeping with are not respecting you enough to ask or discuss or realise that everyone's preferences are different, my suggestion is to find new people to have sex with.
    There is nothing "abnormal" about anal sex. There are just different people with different tastes.
    Not being into it is as normal and okay as wanting to do it every time you have sex... Like I said, it's about consent and communication.
    :)
    >4w
    Reply
  • arthur28453

    arthur28453
    51M Mangerton, NSW,
     AU

    I find its not all its cracked up to be.
    >4w
    Reply
  • lookingahead123

    lookingahead123
    64M Chelsea Heights, VIC,
     AU

    When done right...it's the best feeling
    >4w
    Reply
  • Farmer30s

    Farmer30s
    50M South Geelong, VIC,
     AU

    if it feels good go for it!
    its very sexy licking a girls arse and having it in return. also fingers and toys are fun to play with, should not be taboo! its just a very sensitive and sexual area to enjoy! go for it. :)
    >4w
    Reply
  • Icycupcake11

    Icycupcake11
    38F Bundaberg, QLD,
     AU

    The problem with normalising anal sex and saying it is just like normal sex is I find 99.9% of guys expect it. Not ask about, not talk about it, but just expect to get it and act like you're weird if you don't want it. I'm not saying it's good or bad depending on people's preferences, but keep in mind the more popular it becomes, the more weird and strange girls who don't want it are treated :(
    >4w
    Reply
  • BiReciever14

    BiReciever14
    54M Portland, VIC,
     AU

    Nothing like Receiving anal sex i Love it just wishes i could Land more cock in my arse Mmmm. Oh yes and I'm male and Orgasm from my arse....
    >4w
    Reply
  • PleaseMrSirr

    PleaseMrSirr
    51M Heritage Park, QLD,
     AU

    OMG.... Face down ass up, that is all i have to say
    >4w
    Reply
  • Funnyone1

    Funnyone1
    53M Georgetown, NSW,
     AU

    Anal is like nothing else give or receive I love anal
    >4w
    Reply
  • younganddumb13

    younganddumb13
    Account closed

    Pegging is the best. I think if you wanna bang your girl in the tail pipe, you should try it too.. you know, be fair and all haha! I think the stigma with male anal play and being gay is ridiculous.. If it makes you cum harder than anything has before, why wouldnt you do it!? Id never go back ;)
    >4w
    Reply
  • Analmagician

    Analmagician
    Account closed

    I love anal sex in every way.It's so much fun and I love everything about it.
    >4w
    Reply
  • serg685

    serg685
    Account closed

    I guess is all fun for as long it's not my arse the one we r talking about!! Happy arse fucking,
    >4w
    Reply
  • JessPip

    JessPip
    Account closed

    That all being said, my last boyfriend and I engaged anal a few times, and he was pretty respectful/understanding (even without us having an explicit conversation about aforementioned "issues"). I enjoyed it, and maybe I'd enjoy it even more often if that anxiety was taken away. However, I think maybe it is important we talk more openly about anal sex, if for no other reason than guys realising it can not always be an option. I'm not sure where the balance is, but I certainly know that I don't want most one-night/casual affairs putting it up my butt.. Yet it really is almost expected, even in terms of fingering.
    Speaking of which, that's another thing I've noticed lately... Guys going directly from rimming, to cunnilingus. I mean, in one straight lick up.
    Please; no matter how clean someone is or appears to be, this greatly increases the risk of a UTI, and she won't thank you for it.
    ... I guess these are the types of things we need to address more in Sex Ed or something, because seriously, it's not cool to have to be explaining the potential unpleasant health risks so often.
    Thanks to the people who have a good knowledge of the body and cleanliness (and good sex etiquette)!
    >4w
    • barebummed

      barebummed
      38F Newcastle, NSW,
       AU

      I know this isn't the issue being discussed but it's amazing how many men are unaware of how a woman's body work, not just regarding potential infections going straight from anal to vaginal penetration, but also regarding female orgasms through penetration. The majority of women aren't able to orgasm through penetration alone (a very lucky percentage can), yet it's still expected.
      The problem is that we can't expect them to just know if we don't tell them. I gave my boyfriend at the time an article to read and said "don't take it personally" and I think it helped him to feel less inadequate. But it's definitely the same with anal - communication is extremely important and if you're uncomfortable about something or you're worried that they might go from back to front then talk to him beforehand and make sure you set those guidelines.
      >4w
    Reply
  • JessPip

    JessPip
    Account closed

    However, the actual comment I wanted to make was, I think why it's so hard to talk about -- especially for women -- is because we are not usually raised or encouraged to speak openly about bodily functions, especially pooping. It feels awkward, particularly with a partner that is a casual thing. Yet an unavoidable part of anal is talking about what the ass's primary function is; largely because, as you mention, these days anal sex is on top of a lot of people's interest list, so it will often be requested/mentioned in a sexual encounter... But how can I turn it down or express anxiety about it because maybe I'm not feeling too well or stable "down there" (see, it's hard enough to talk about when relatively anonymous online!), and I don't want to risk anything unpleasant?
    ... It's not exactly a sexy topic. Yet you can't really have one without the other.
    By many accounts, gay men find it easier to talk about that aspect, as they're both more likely to have first-hand experience. Or maybe I need to stop being concerned about seeming "unfeminine" by talking about this... But something tells me that's still going to be a challenge.
    >4w
    Reply
  • JessPip

    JessPip
    Account closed

    Anal sex that has been prepared for with the proper stretching methods (ie. make sure you work up to it by stretching with a small, then gradually larger and larger butt-plug in the days/weeks before regular anal sex) should not cause incontinence. Although there are a lack of studies on this issue (it's not something that's easy to get funding for!), there is certainly no conclusive evidence that it will hard. Haemorrhoids would be a risk if one was having ill-prepared or excessively rough anal sex. So, if you do indeed find anal pleasurable, just make sure you do a but of muscle prep/stretching, and you should be fine :). (Yes, your ass won't be quite as tight as someone who hasn't let it stretch a bit, but it should by no means be loose... Muscles are made to accommodate stretching! :))
    >4w
    Reply
  • keenasu4

    keenasu4
    Account closed

    I would have been one to say OMG about Anal sex. No way
    My first experience was so painful.
    But then as time goes by. I'm finding it more enjoyable.
    Better orgasms and to have a look of satisfaction on yours and your partners face. Well what a way to go.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Bothways72

    Bothways72
    52NB Woolgoolga, NSW,
     AU

    I agree 100% with CaptainSCK, and with myself being bi, I can truely sympathise with a lot of women whom have had previous bad, forced, anal experiences with 'Mr Average', who seem to have no idea what the meaning of slowly/gently is:-/
    ....hmmmm, i can honestly agree with the time old women's saying's of-'pathetic male's', and 'simple male's'!!! ....even more so when aroused, and there brain certainly does indeed seem to shift from the head on their shoulder's, down to the one that when's hard, seems to half their mental IQ! Lol!
    And as for 'buxombitch's' comment...all i can say is...you are one truely lucky bitch havin an 11 incher at your mercy!!!!!
    >4w
    Reply
  • enak79

    enak79
    70M Rosebud West, VIC,
     AU

    Anal...Love it,giving and receiving.Girls,guys and Transgender. Being "pegged" yes. Like Buxsomb..It is for me a real turn on seeing and feeling your cock disappearing up a tight hot arse....no holes barred 3 or moresomes....ecstacy!
    >4w
    Reply
  • Sapiosexuality

    Sapiosexuality
    Account closed

    My wife says anal sex gives her the best orgasms...
    >4w
    Reply
  • buxombitch

    buxombitch
    Account closed

    I love anal sex. When im seriously turned on I can take my husbands mate whom is 11" balls deep & i orgasm. Trick is to get seriously turned on first.
    >4w
    Reply
  • silvastallion

    silvastallion
    Account closed

    I think a number of women don't go there because of either the pain factor or bad first time experiences which puts them off future experiences...
    When anal foreplay commences with rimming and gentle unrushed fingering, toying, gentle care and respect, anal sex makes fantastic kinky sex!
    >4w
    Reply
  • looking70s

    looking70s
    Account closed

    Nothing better!! My ex loved it, I've had a lubed finger which is very nice and I would allow a lady to peg me if she was slow and gentle with me.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Withaffection

    Withaffection
    Account closed

    One in the bum no harm done i say
    >4w
    Reply
  • CaptainSCK

    CaptainSCK
    Account closed

    As a guy who's quite happy to let a woman fuck me with a strap on its funny when a girl says "you wouldn't know what it's like... " yes I do, which is why I think you should enjoy it :P but hey, to each their own
    >4w
    Reply
  • Fknplayful

    Fknplayful
    Account closed

    I would say 95% of girls like anal yes u can have a bad experience and yes there are guys out there who don't respect that you need to be gentle but from my experience when the have had it done the way it should the girl begins asking for it
    >4w
    Reply
  • Buzz1960

    Buzz1960
    65M 63F Adelaide, SA,
     AU

    No taboo around here. If it brings orgasms, squirting and smiles, get to it!
    >4w
    Reply
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