Our Essential Guide to One Night Stands
Eva Sless
on 8 December 2014
32 comments
One night stands, hook-ups, booty calls... Whatever you want to call them, no-strings-attached sex can be awesome. It can put a spring in your step, a glow on your face and a warmth in your loins. Whether it's someone you've just met on a night out or maybe an organised hook-up arranged over the internet or similar there can be something very sexy and empowering about letting go for one night and just going with your primal animal instincts.
Of course, there are things you need to do to make sure it's a positive experience, so I've written down a few tips and tricks to make sure the old saying “walk of shame” is replaced with one of my favourite sayings: “The stride of pride”, because really, there should never be any shame attached to something as fantastic and enjoyable as sex.
Make your intentions clear
If it's just a one-night-stand then you need to make sure the person you're hooking up with knows this. It's not fair on either of you if you don't. It's awkward and embarrassing for both parties if one person is looking for a quickie and the other wants a relationship or is looking for a regular fuck buddy. Trust me, I've been on both sides of this fence and it's not nice having to tell someone, after the fact, that they were just a one night thing. Nor is it nice being told, after what seemed like a great night full of connection and mutual like, that there is no future for anything further. Because that's the thing, sex is full of connections and chemistry, so you need to be clear on what sort of connection you're both having.
Be safe!
This is probably the most important thing. Safety. Not only sexual safety but personal safety as well.
Always carry condoms with you. Always. Both males and females. There is nothing worse than getting all primed for some hot sex and then finding out neither of you have protection. Well, actually, there is something worse. Deciding to go for it anyway and ending up with some kind of STI or an unwanted pregnancy. Seriously, for the girls, don't just assume guys will always have condoms on them and that it's their responsibility. Safe sex is EVERYONE'S responsibility. Be proactive.
When it comes to personal safety there are a few things you can do, because unfortunately in this world sometimes we have to be extra careful. Always let someone know where you're going and give them a time you'll be in contact with them. I know this can be hard to do if you're out and the hook-up just kinda “happens”, but it doesn't take long to send a quick text to a friend.
Don't go anywhere you feel uncomfortable, or with anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable. If your gut tells you something is wrong, then listen to it. It is always better to be safe than sorry.
Try not to get too drunk or high (not because “drunk girls invite bad things”, I abhor that message, but because it is always better to have your wits about you in new situations. No matter who you are, or what the situation). Always have a way of getting home yourself like money for a taxi or a friend to come get you.
Enjoy! Be Wild! Be Sexy!
One night stands are a bit like a blank page, you can write whatever you want on it without any preconceived ideas or prior knowledge getting in the way. You can invent yourself into an uber sexy character for a night. There's no need for them to really know anything about you except that you're there, you're sexy and you're up for a good time. Be vocal and let them know what you like and what you don't. There's no point having sex if it's not satisfying, so make the most of it!
Should I stay or should I go?
After the sex, after your breath is caught, after the afterglow there is often that slightly awkward “what do I do now?”thing. Do I kick them out of my bed? Do I stay? Do we snuggle? I think it's pretty important to have a contingency plan before you even start, like money for a cab or even giving them a “Hey, I have my sister coming round fairly early tomorrow so you probably won't be able to stay the night” white lie. You can always change your mind later if you decide you want them to stay, but letting them know beforehand that they can't won't make them feel like you're kicking them out when the night is over.
Regardless of when you leave, it is always good manners to say goodbye and thanks. If they happen to be asleep leave them a note. It's just polite and let's them know that the time you had together was a good one.
Be Respectful
Yeah, I know you'll probably wanna boast to someone about the night. Hey, good sex should be boasted about. But be respectful of the other person's feelings and privacy and, even if it ended up not being great sex, there is no need to go bad mouthing someone or ridiculing them. It's just bad form and not at all classy.
High Five Yourself!
Seriously! Be proud! You're an awesome, amazing, sexy, sexual human being who has just enjoyed a night of pleasure and self indulgence... Go you! Give yourself a wink in the mirror and a pat on the butt and go catch up on some sleep.
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