Mutual Masturbation: Solo Pleasure Together

For most of us, masturbation is usually a bit of a quick fix. An itch to scratch and then get about your day. If I was to generalise, I'd say women probably take a little extra time and care than men do, sometimes making masturbation a whole sexy self date, but for the most part, when we fiddle, it's "wham-bam-thank you, me" and then back to doing the dishes.

Mutual masturbation is different. It's a shared moment. A sensual and sexy moment. A sort of dance you and your partner enjoy together, showing off your moves, your pleasures, your body...

Why Mutual Masturbation?

There are so many reasons why people might want to engage in mutual masturbation rather than other sexual activities. From being on your period, to saving yourself for marriage or any other reason in between, every person's sexual journey and sexual preferences are individual and personal. And sharing that with another person, regardless of the activity itself or other people's ideas on stuff, is as intimate as any kind of sex can be.

Communication is Key

Talking to your partner about your likes and dislikes, fantasies and desires, as well as turn offs and boundaries is vital to any good relationship.

Yes, even with mutual masturbation. Just because you might be touching yourself in that particular moment, you're not actually alone, so it's important to let your partner in. Yes, of course it's about what feels good physically, but it's also about showing your partner just how good it all is. Like a performance for an audience of one. Of course, on the other side of that, you are also the audience, and, as the viewer, have an interactive role of your own.

Show and Tell

One of the sexiest, most exciting parts of mutual masturbation is the visual aspect. Seeing your partner in their most beautifully intimate states, touching themselves in your favourite spots, eyes closed, pleasure dancing across their lips, breath shallow, those little noises they make.... All of this can be incredibly arousing and intimate, bringing you even closer together as a couple, even though you haven't even touched each other!

No Pressure, All Pleasure

Regardless of your gender, often when it comes to sexual activities there's an aspect of performance pressure and anxiety - things like lasting long enough, how heavy you are on top, worrying if your partner hasn't orgasmed, touching the right or wrong spots. Mutual masturbation takes so much of that stress away. It’s all about your own pleasure without any expectations, and with all of your own knowledge about what you need exactly where and when you need it.

Enjoy the sensations you are giving yourself and let go of any worries. It's like giving yourself permission to indulge in pure bliss.

Stronger Together

Mutual masturbation is a playground of possibilities in not only your own sexual life, but also in your actual relationship. It's the perfect time to experiment with different positions, techniques, and toys, all while sharing it with your lover. Having the confidence in yourself and your relationship to explore some new things in the intimate security of your relationship is a brilliant tool for growing and keeping strong connections. The bonds we build through sharing sexual intimacy are some of the strongest we can ever share with another person.

Mindfulness and Connection 

Mutual masturbation really is a fantastic opportunity to be fully present with your partner, to connect on a deeper level beyond just the physical touch. It's kind of like a meditation practice, but one where you not only focus on the pleasures and sensations of your own body, but also as a voyeur to your partner's. It's a way to know them intimately, deeply, beautifully... without even touching them.

Laugh Together

Sex doesn't always have to be serious. In fact, sex should never be all that serious. Consent and sexual health conversations aside of course, sex should be fun and silly and full of laughter, because as I've said many, many times, when you get down to the bare bones of it, sex is hilarious.

It's weird noises and funny faces. It's elbows and knees getting in the way, and falling off the bed. Mutual masturbation is the same. Don't be afraid to share a giggle or two. Laughter is one of the best ways to create loving bonds. Do it often.

Afterglow

Just like any great performance, mutual masturbation deserves a round of applause. Take the time to bask in the afterglow together. Snuggle, laugh, share your thoughts and feelings. Tell them what you loved seeing. What was new or surprising. What you'd like to see again. Remember some of those things for when you next play together and see if you can replicate them.

Mutual masturbation really is a fun, totally safe, and incredibly sexy way to connect with your partner on levels you probably didn't think were possible without actually touching someone.

Remember to always get enthusiastic consent, and until next time, happy fiddling, my friends.

1 comment

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  funsex703

  More than a month ago

  Fun
  
  I remember a very fine and fast mutual masturbation session with a girlfriend in broad day light, discrete, sunny day, oh we we exhausted our own selves in minutes and laughed.
  
  Fun.

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