7 Ways to Play with your Male Submissive

So you’ve just had the massive thrill of discovering your male partner or lover has some submissive tendencies. Lucky you! 

This opens the door to a whole new level of bedroom fun and intimate times. Whether you’re new to kink, or a couple looking for something different to try, there’s sure to be an easy and effective way for you to get some fun times out of playing with a submissive male. It’s also a great opportunity for the ladies amongst you to unleash your inner femme domme.

Clothed Female Naked Male (CFNM) 

CFNM is a simple, yet powerful form of D/s dynamic that can be utilised in a range of ways. You can start with some very low-key ‘domestic’ scenes; have your naked submissive bring your coffee, or wash dishes, or vacuum. Male submissives (and hopefully their dominant partners) find CFNM exciting as it’s a very subtle form of body control that doesn’t require any additional stimulus – the sheer act of being fully clothed while the submissive has been literally stripped of that comfort says a lot! To increase your dominance in these scenarios you can also add in some light objectification – make your submissive stand before you while you ‘inspect’ their body. 

Feminisation

If your submissive is into it, feminisation is such a fun place to play! There are so many levels of intensity to explore, many of them leading to extremely sexy places when you’re both on board. Often the simplest place to start is with some light cross-dressing, and if there’s good feels and enthusiasm, try some make-up and/or wigs. Stay in charge by creating the look, and shaping the persona of your brand new feminised man. As for the roleplay, start with anything that involves ‘traditionally femme’ stereotypes eg. sexy nurse, maid, housewife; the behaviours are formatted, the power dynamic expectations are pretty standard and less time and energy are used to overthink and create a whole new character. 

That said, those who really enjoy feminisation will often grow to explore a whole new persona brought forth as their femme side emerges.

Dirty Talk 

Dirty talk is a fairly common thing for male submissives to enjoy, and can be used to up your Dominance in any given scene. If this is something that sounds appealing, be sure to have a conversation that covers the language that will and won’t be used. Find out what your submissive gets off on being called, and be sure to avoid any terms that might be triggering. Name-calling could be part of your dirty talk, but keep it playful eg. ‘Who’s a sexy little pervert?’, or encouraging eg. ‘You look so content being such a slut for me.’

Also consider finding a name that YOU wish to be addressed by – are you a Mistress? Queen? Goddess? Boss? It’s not just about the talk being ‘dirty’, it’s about restating and reinforcing the intended power dynamic.

Oral Sex 

Often thought of as a generally submissive act because it’s something that’s ‘given’ and can be seen as a form of service or even worship. To truly take control of this, and make the male feel more submissive, there’s a couple of quick and easy tricks. For starters, you can make your guy kneel and perform oral sex while you stand. Be sure to drop your weight into his face from time to time, and make sure you direct his head if required. Make sure you get some oral, just the way YOU like it and be sure to totally control the pace and flow of the sensations. Remember he is serving YOU. And don’t forget, there is always the wonder of the strap-on – there is no reason at all that you can’t have your dick sucked too. It might not be the same intense physical sensation, but in terms of dominant psychology, seeing a guy with his mouth on a strap-on cock is quite the feeling.

Face Sitting

Even though facesitting (also known as queening) is a form of control, rather than outright sex, there's no reason it can't be incorporated into your oral play. But instead of having your sub 'do' anything, you can simply use their face as a well-contoured sex toy. Command this scene and increase your dominance at any time by simply dropping your weight onto your submissive’s face. Get him to tap your thigh when he’s had enough of your weight, and needs some relief, and ensure you respect the tap. But also tease him hard; hover above him, graze over his face, let him taste you on your fingers, and make him beg for you. 

Dominating Sex 

It’s not uncommon to assume the penetrating partner will be in control of the sex. That’s also why it’s fun to flip it around. Any position that puts you on top will enhance your physical dominance and ability to control the pace and depth of penetration. It also allows you to dismount at any time in order to tease and lightly torture your wanting sub. If this seems a little too vanilla, add in some dirty talk, or hold his hands over his head or handcuff him or tie him to the bed (with his consent of course). 

You might also enjoy playing with some objectification, and make your submissive your fuck toy, a tool used simply for your pleasure. This can be particularly fun with submissives who enjoy following instructions and practising obedience. Demand sexual service from them and give precise instructions of what you want done. This can take some of the physical pressure off the dominant and allow them to play more psychologically and/or verbally.

Anal Play and Pegging

It's a common assumption that the ‘penetrator’ is dominant in a sexual encounter, so it follows that the one being penetrated is the submissive. (And to be clear, this is gross generalisation based on the binary genders, but for simplicity sake, it works in this context.) If you’re into it, pegging and anal play are wonderful ways to have your male submissive begging for more. Always start slow and use lots of lube, and don’t do anything forceful. With some sensual massage over the buttocks, working your way into the crack, and rubbing slowly over the butthole, you can relax the anal sphincter to a point that it pretty much invites you in. And whether you plan on penetration or not, for the love of everything lusty, wear your strap-on – the psychological effect can be huge.    

As with all your new sexual adventures, be sure to have honest and open conversations with potential play partners, and express your likes and limits. Make sure all consent is enthusiastic and keen, and if anything seems overwhelming, put it on the backburner – your sex life isn’t a race. You’ve got time to explore in a safe and timely manner. Relax, explore, enjoy!