The individual is the basic unit and it is only through you that change happens, or doesn’t. It’s up to the individual to find their spiritual connection, their connection to the environment, and their connection to their sexuality.

Ladies, don't limit yourself to hooking up with single guys? Single women are very much in demand in the swing lifestyle so perhaps think about checking out the swinging scene because swingers are a girl's best friend.

People often ask me why they don’t have any desire for sex. The answer is simple – you’re too tired. Exhausted, flat, overwhelmed, worn out, drained… None of these states are conducive to a raging libido.

If you are in a long-term relationship, chances are you are running about average! If you introduce a little friendly competition into the mix, large holes of ‘us’ time might suddenly start appearing in your diaries.

Communing is enjoyable and relaxing and connecting. Beforeplay is at least as important as the Foreplay. It’s the way you relate and feel about each other (and therefore about yourself) before you even get to the bedroom.

We love our boxes. We have them around our work, our gender, our ethic grouping, our age, our relationship status. For so many people, their lives are boxes within boxes, constraints within constraints, limitations within limitations.

What are the small things that mean a lot to you and your partner? How can you keep the connection strong through frequent acts of kindness and affection? It can be words, it can be touch, it can be actions, or simply spending time together.

What if you’re overweight? What if you can’t or don’t orgasm on the night? What if you can’t get it up? These concerns are a reality for many in the swinging scene so how do you deal with it!

Yes, it’s a play on words, but it’s also an extremely important point. A couple can only have good on-going sex if they both agree to make it good. You both need to agree to ditch the monotony!

There are times in the swinging scene where men have had trouble getting it up on the night. Our resident swing lifestyle expert offers her advice for men in the swinging scene who experience this.