Got a penis? How to make jerking off even better!
Eva Sless
on 24 May 2024
41 comments
We talk a lot about masturbation on our blog and that's because it's a bloody great way to pass the time, and get some energy, or help you fall asleep, or relieve crampy pain, or for a whole bunch of other reasons but, for the most part, we often focus solely on female masturbation.
That's for a few reasons, the main one being that, while men are often given the green light to tug and play and explore from a very early age, women are not, and so we try very hard to break down the stigma, taboo, and shame associated with women touching their own bodies.
But today we're going down a different road because, while men usually do have a lot more permissions in their lives to be sexual, they often don't have a lot of permission to be indulgent and self caring in their wanking (or indeed any sexual) pursuits.
When we talk to women about masturbation we talk about her "seducing" herself, "loving her body", taking the time and the care to explore and learn. We suggest candles and baths and soft music and silky sheets, but when the conversation turns to male masturbation we so often feel it needs to be very "manly".
Tug it. Blow it. Wipe it. Get on with your day. Grrr! Alpha! MACHO!
But, for the record, that's bullshit. On both sides.
There is nothing at all wrong with a woman doing the wham-bam-thankya-ma'am on herself for quick relief, just as there is nothing wrong with a man taking the time to really get into the feel and rhythm and indulgence of a really good wank.
So here's a few tips and tricks from the men in my world regarding the best ways to take your wanking to the next level and really indulge yourself.
Orgasm Control
Known as edging this is the practice of masturbating until juuuuust before you climax and stopping, letting your breathing and your blood pressure go back to normal, maybe even letting your cock lose some of its hardness... And then doing it again... And again... Until you eventually let yourself come. And omg come you will! An edging orgasm is pretty intense and can totally change the way you play overall.
You can edge four times. You can edge all day. Some guys I know try and edge for a few days just to really get the build up... And the good news is it's not just for fun! If you're a guy who is worried he doesn't last long enough, or is overly sensitive to some activities, edging can totally train your body to last longer, stay harder, and really begin to know itself and its pleasure and trigger points.
Up The Sensations with Lube
So we all know that lube is an essential part of masturbation. It helps keep things slippery and slidey and feeling good, but did you know there are lubes you can buy that have added stuff in them that can make your skin tingle and buzz and even, in some instances, make your cock even harder? Well it's true! Depending on whether you like a cool or a hot sensation there are lubes that contain things like menthol or capsicum to create all sorts of delicious feelings in those sensitive areas.
I will suggest on your first tries with these you keep a wet wash cloth handy just in case you don't enjoy the sensations and need to get the product off quickly, but have a chat to your local adult shop staff and they'll be able to suggest some great "sensation lubes" for you to try.
Toys Toys, Toys for the Boys!
Sex toys are excellent and not just for vaginas and clits etc... even the ones you think are just made for vaginas and clits can be used by penises another bits. Running a vibrator along the shaft of your cock can be incredibly erotic, teasing the head with its pulses and shakes. Or what about placing a rumbly, low vibrating wand against the perineum as your slippery, lubey hands play and pull and please yourself.
There are all sorts of toys made for penises these days that go beyond the original, but still best-selling Fleshlight products, but even those are brilliant for self bonking. No matter your budget you'll find a sleeve that can work for you and these days they come in so many different styles you'll be spoiled for choice. From vibrating cock rings to oral sex simulators, and let's not forget about the ones for those other body bits that often get neglected when just playing alone.
Don't neglect your other bits!
The penis is great, it really is, but don't neglect those other sensitive areas when you play, or you could be missing out on all sorts of fun.
Your balls for example... stroking and squeezing and fondling them as you masturbate can add to the eroticism as can teasing the perineum and, of course we cannot forget the deep yet incredible source of intense male pleasure, the prostate.
Prostate toys are finally getting the recognition and use they deserve and I think that's absolutely fantastic. Being an adult shop worker for many years I watched as they went from something asked for in whispered tones and blushing cheeks, to blokes coming in on their lunch breaks with other blokes to show them the ones they had told them about.
Understanding that butt play isn't gay unless you're, you know, gay, has been a liberation for so many men and I cant wait to see it become as normalised and easy for them to talk about as wanking is.
I've always said the best way to have the best sex is to know how to have sex with yourself first and I think that goes for all genders and sexualities. If you know what you like and are willing to explore and experiment with yourself, you're more likely to be open, adventurous and communicative in your sexual encounters with others, and far more in tune to both their and your own pleasure.
Comments (41)
Funawaits69
More than a month agoNot sure why most guys still have a stigma about arse play it's awesome and if you haven't experienced a prostate orgasm with your partner or alone you really should
4playniceguy
More than a month agoThank you I understand myself a little better now. I thought something was wrong with me jerking off 4 or 5 times a day
Nicks775
More than a month agoHave to say nothing better than mutual mastbation u can tell her how to hold pressure etc for me anyway is getting her off then watching her get off ‘
EppingGuy
More than a month agobest hand jobs are done by other hands
Diamondheart998
More than a month agoI read this article hoping to pick up some more tips to pleasuring the guys I am playing with. Unfortunately it didnt tell me a hell of a lot. I do some stuff with my tongue that most guys are surprised at and only let them get to the muscle tic stage and maybe some pre cum then stop I do this over and over when they finally do cum it is an explosion...I would be happy to learn new ways tho
AMM.Editor
More than a month agoThis article is specifically about self pleasure so you're right, not much for you to learn from it. If you use the search feature to search for "oral sex", "blow job", "penis" you will find a few articles;"How to give the perfect hand job" (which got a lot of positive feedback) and we also have "How to play with an uncut cock" and "How to give a double blow job".
jenoo1
More than a month agoPermissions is a female thing. Sorry but men don't need approval of others to do what we want to do.
Generally,of course, there are exceptions.
KinkyGirl101
More than a month agoI'd love to know why you feel "permissions" is a female thing? Also I'm not sure you have grasped the subtlety of Eva's comment which was that men rarely give themselves permission to be indulgent about wanking. From my personal experience with partners in the past I would agree with her. It's seen as something to do in the toilet or the shower, you rarely dim the lights, set the mood and set yourself up for a serious self pleasuring session.
jenoo1
More than a month agoIt's not a feeling it's a view formed with logical reasoning from my observations and the observations of others. Example here from a women's rights advocate https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-do-women-feel-they-ne_b_162437
And are you telling me how men view masturbation? Thanks for your first hand insight.
When alone, men do all sorts of interesting things, but it's not always shared. I think you're both naive.
DeliciousEva
More than a month agoPermission covers things like consent and boundaries.
Sounds like a red flag to anyone reading your comment.
Be better
jenoo1
More than a month agoThat's not the context of the conversation now is it? Here you are taking me out of context for the sake of trying to win points.
Permissions to perform actions as an individual, that have no negative impact on others is what I mean, if you need it explicitly stated.
Read the article I have referred to for further context.
funloving2016
More than a month agoYou mean your hand doesn't ask your brain or penis for consent? /s
Winston0171
More than a month agoIf I wasn't masturbating, I wouldn't be getting any action at all.
sydneyguy2565
More than a month agoInteresting read this was.
I recently bought a vibrating cock from Love Honey to use with my lady "friend" but shes not interested in it,
So ive started to use it on my self while watching porn running it up and down the shaft around the head and on my nuts as well, and must say its much easier to stop when getting close than when visiting "Mrs Palmer and her 3 daughters"
Sixtyhowdidthat
More than a month agoWell I just caused an ejeculation whilst putting on a cock ring. At age sixty the most curious though uninspiring ‘orgasm’ I have ever had. Looked at it thought that is odd. No connection to the brain at all. Life, learn or experience something new every day!
AriesJohn65
More than a month agoAll these negative comments about it being a woman writing the article. Over the years I've masturbated my willy as much as most men and I have to say the BEST hands that my 'penis' has been in is a woman's hands. So ladies go for it with your guy and Eva, I love your articles. Well done!
jenoo1
More than a month ago"Permissions". Men don't seek permissions to play with ourselves the way that we want, trust me.
"Penis" - I have never heard a man call it his penis, except in dry boring sex ed class or when getting checked for STIs, it's such an unsexy word.
Thanks for the article Eva, appreciate you trying to broaden our horizons, but I explored all of this by the age of 15.
Account Closed
More than a month agolol
Tryany007
More than a month agoGreat artical im going to give it a go and see how mutch it improves my sex life most of the time it is as you said quick play and get back on with things
CheekyFunLover
More than a month agoGreat article Eva, all good tips to treat yourself as a guy, but even better to share with someone, edging and toys can be such a wonderful tease. Just got my first prostate massager, recommend it to everyone.
JackTheBottom
More than a month agoI thought most of this article is rubbish and does reek of being written by a female (whatever her claimed sources are).
But in the end it is all subjective as what works for one person may or may not work for another.
Annandalesparky
More than a month agoGreat article as usual from Eva, and I have to say, some of the toys available for men nowadays are excellent. I have invested in a few vibey toys for all my fun bits and I can definitely say it was money very well spent.
GMan1979
More than a month agoI wonder what the response from women would be if an article telling women how to masturbate was written by a man......... Actually, no I don't. We all know exactly what the response would be.
AMM.Editor
More than a month agoIn the article Eva is quite clear about where the advice has come from "So here's a few tips and tricks from the men in my world"
GMan1979
More than a month agoI'm not disputing her resources, just the fact that she thought that those few off hand comments qualified her to write a 'how to' for the opposite sex. If I have a friend who's a Doctor, that doesn't make me a brain surgeon. And my original comment is still valid. If a man wrote a 'how to masturbate' guide for women based on what a few women had said to him, women everywhere would lose their shit. This is a huge double standard.
AMM.Editor
More than a month agoSo blame us, not Eva, we had a member request an article and Eva is our "go to" sexpert. When we asked her to write the article about "How to date a trans woman" she did the same thing, researched (including members on this site) and compiled an article based on her research. Hey if you know a cis male with the depth of knowledge and writing skills which Eva brings to this site please ask them to get in touch.
DeliciousEva
More than a month agoIf you did some research you would find that people like Dr Eric Sprankle and Dan Savage who are both men write very informative and excellent articles on sex and sexuality, including masturbation, for all genders regardless of their own gender because, like me, they did their research. The fact is you've ignored the opening statement that this is information I literally got from men and not just some off-hand comments i overhead at the pub or something.
AMM.Editor
More than a month agoThis comment thread is closed.
jenoo1
More than a month agoThey need more diversity in their authors so that they can represent their members better.
AdHoC47
More than a month agoGreat article and great to have Male Masturbation acknowledged/appreciated.
Even though I find it kind of boring these days it's always a good idea to stay in touch/tune with your own body, the part about edging and training your body to delay orgasm is spot on.
Thanks for the knowledge share, even though it seems as though some have taken it the wrong way already by the comments.
Xo
bris200022
More than a month agoAdvice on how a man should jerk off from a Women no worries .
AMM.Editor
More than a month agoIf you read the article it clearly says "So here's a few tips and tricks from the men in my world "
shyone520
More than a month agoI can attest to edging... The past couple of weeks I've had a few (4) prospects that have developed to all but the meeting stage, then they've done a runner.... so I've been holding off each time, just in case I get lucky... If I don't get, or give myself, relief soon there's gunna be an explosion. haha
Tonguemaster67
More than a month agoThe Njoy pure wand is the best!!!
One hand working it the other working on my lubed cock .
The intensity
Ecstasy
Still working at 78
ABitCocky166
More than a month agoWish someone would jerk me off
Zamboon
More than a month agoGreat article thank you Eva .. and some great tips - weve gone from from as john travolta said in pulp fiction " go to bed jerk off and go to sleep" to great toys which Im now interested in - I need something for my nipples and Im also after that elusive prostate orgasm... love your work!
Account Closed
More than a month agoHave you tried nipple clamps ? Or silly as it sounds a peg? If u like a bit of pressure..
Account Closed
More than a month agommmm...elusive...
Account Closed
More than a month agoBeachbunn - go hard or go home I say - Bulldog Clips hahahahahaha
Zamboon
More than a month agoYou cruel lady ;)
RoosterKogburn
More than a month agoYes, agree,agree and agree.
Edging and waves of pre cum( sometimes lots) is the wtg, be it by yourself or with others.