A Day in the Life of a Somatic Sex Educator
Wala Truscott
on 23 September 2020
12 comments
Wala Truscott is a Somatic Sex Educator based in Adelaide who we first met when she created and hosted the very successful Kimmi's Parties in Adelaide. We were excited to interview her for our ongoing series about women in the adult industry and learn more about her journey from party hostess with the mostess to helping people connect with their sexuality through education and learning about touch.
How would you explain to people what you do?
As a Somatic Sex Educator, I help people understand how to connect and create pleasure, arousal and sensations within the body from a felt sense. I also teach people the four different types of touch and how to negotiate and navigate a safe environment to experience true and authentic sexual satisfaction within a relationship both in and out of the bedroom.
Why would someone seek out a Somatic Sex Educator over, say a traditional therapist, and how do they differ?
A clinical Sex Therapist is a talk-based modality, and they work with people's cognitive behavioural patterns, triggers, traumas and traits. A Somatic Sex Educator/Professional Touch Therapist is body-based learning. We help people investigate, discover and explore what and how pleasure is felt 'in the body', which differs for every person. People who are working with a clinical health professional (doctors, surgeons, obstetrician and psychologists) can benefit by combining a somatic experience alongside other modalities.
What do you love most about what you do?
I love that I can do this work and offer professional services to genuinely help people improve their sexuality. I love how empowered a client can feel once they realise that they led the session and results were not the driver, but curiosity and inquiry are. It's so powerful to know that you can choose what happens in a session, and the most profound learnings are usually the subtle ones.
I absolutely love the gratitude and generosity that is mutually felt between myself and my clients. I am compassionate towards them for wanting to change or improve their sexuality, and they appreciate that I am willing to help them in a fun, relaxed and gentle manner.
Your style of sex education involves touch, which is so critically important while social distancing is still required. What advice can you give people about connecting with themselves and others during the pandemic?
The pandemic has allowed some people to have more time and access to resources like webinars and online teachings. So why not use this time to update and improve your profiles to help connect with people who you're aligned in lifestyle with.
Whether touch is included or not, there is always so much to learn about love, sex and relationships. There are still opportunities to grow and support your active connections. And a lot of what I teach doesn't always involve actual physical touch (it can but not always). None of my workshops requires nudity.
How did you discover alternative relationships?
I've always had a very open mind when it came to people doing what they wanted to do both sexually and just in life in general. As a teen, I never understood why it was such a bad thing to sexually explore with multiple people (teen boys in my case). I heard the word 'slut’ for the first time when I was about 11 years old, and when I found out what it meant, I was confused about why being a slut was such a bad thing.
When I was about 14 years old, my elderly neighbour (about 80 years old) said something that confused me at the time, but as I got older, her words rang true. She asked if I had a boyfriend (which I did); and told me "Never underestimate the power of a woman's body and your vagina doesn't have an odometer reading - so you enjoy yourself "... I still think of her to this day.
As a play party guest, how did you become a play party host, and why do you think Kimmi's Parties was so successful?
I attended events for many years with my then-partner, and we just loved the social aspect of the scene. He played a lot more than I did, but I still found the atmosphere very sexually charged, taboo, naughty and a lot of fun. I was drawn toward the relaxed and accepting people more so than the sexual encounters.
Once I found out that my predecessor's events were coming to an end, we had a long hard chat about hosting events ourselves and improving what was currently being offered in the play scene. So, we created the party we always wanted to attend. I had no idea if it was going to be successful or not. Still, I had enough business sense to have a crack at it, so we bought a property and started renovating!
It took 2 years of logistics, creating and planning before we were able to open our doors as 'Kimmi's Parties'. And, I have a confession I cried for 2 hours after our last guest left from our first party and for so many reasons, but mainly because we actually did what we planned to do. It felt amazing and totally fucking exhausting at the same time - hosting parties was not as easy as I thought it was going to be!
Adult Match Maker members would be more familiar with your swingers party persona so why have you chosen to pursue your new career using your real name when you were so well known in the Adelaide community as Kimmi?
Having a 'play-name' was just the done thing as a party host and to be honest, I don't think I would have had the confidence to own my events publicly, as my actual name 'Wala' (it's a very unusual name after all). At the time, I had a young family, and I also had my grass-roots family to protect from backlash and judgement. But, now mid-40's so what are you going to do....tell my mum...hahahaa!
After 13 years of hosting very successful events and gaining a reputation as 'the party' to attend in Adelaide I feel I have earned my stripes in the world of being a leader in sexuality. I am proud of my ability to hold a safe place for people to play, explore and learn about love, sex and pleasure.
I have become passionate about being a Sex Educator, and I have witnessed human sexual behaviour for about 20 years now. After first completing my formal studies as a Sexological Bodyworker in 2013 it opened my eyes to what I 'didn't' know more than what I did. And, just like hosting, I take my role as a Sex Educator seriously. Anyone who knows me personally knows that I was never 'Kimmi' for any sort of ego or accolades (far from it actually being a classic and confident introvert). And the same goes with being a Sex Educator. I just would like to help people in a supportive, gentle and realistic manner, not to toot my own trumpet about what I know or what I do.
After Kimmi's Parties, you started a new venture - Elixir - which encompassed what you'd learnt from your journey to becoming a Somatic Sex Educator. Tell us what made the Elixir format so unique?
Over the years, I hosted what I knew as 'entertainment style' events where people came, partied, drank, socialised, played and went home. However, after my own relationship break-up and once I started to study sex and sexuality, I began to notice more behavioural patterning around people, play and the conduct behind the play (some good and some not so good). And it became very apparent to me that people do the best they can with what they know - and I wanted to show them how to do it better.
I knew that 'Kimmi's' was no longer aligning with my heart, and I wanted to do something different. So, once The Rabbit Hole opened its doors in Adelaide with my full and wholehearted support, I was happy to share my insights to help them start on the front foot. And in return, I would start a new style of gathering where the focus was on the erotic, the play, the tease and authentic connections rather than the party, the sex and the numbers.
So, I created 'Elixir' meaning a magical or medicinal potion - because sex can be both!
I wanted to create a play gathering that actually nourished the body, which for a lot of people is from a place of eroticism more than sexually. I have always loved the playfulness, the sex appeal, the slow pash, the cheeky wink and that erotic tension of teasing and taking things slow and still being in a swinging environment.
Bring back the canoodling, I say!
How is that kind of environment created?!
Elixir is different from the typical entertainment swingers style event because only guests who have attended and completed a 'lead-in' workshop can get their names on the guestlist. The workshop outlines how to create safety around your interactions with people so that everyone gets their needs clearly met with full 'fuck yes' consent.
It is the workshop that allows the guests to truly relax and create genuine and authentic play spaces for everyone involved. But, with COVID looming Elixir is currently on hold and will relaunch in 2021.
You seem to be living the dream of "do what you love and love what you do". Do you have advice for someone keen to host parties or become a sex educator?
If you want to host events, my advice would be to 'stay in your own lane' - don't worry about what anyone else is doing, even if they're in your area. Do not get involved in politics. Have confidence in yourself; the right people will come your way. And a good party is less about pushing boundaries and whizz-bang experiences. Your guest's welfare is paramount. Not your numbers or notoriety as a 'swingers party host'; it's not about you - it's about how you keep people and the party safe.
To anyone wanting to be a Sex Educator, my advice is to learn about trauma and how trauma affects the body - the quickest way to change is to change slowly, and it's not a race, and it's not about you 'as the teacher'.
Has there been a career highlight or an ah-ha moment?
OMG - reflection is a fantastic thing!
I am super proud that Kimmi's would attract 100 people (max capacity) from reputation and people actually choosing to be there. Kimmi's Parties grew organically to be one of the largest parties in Australia (per capital city population).
Who would have thought the city of churches would be so horny and playful!!!
And, for many years, I have immersed into embodied sexuality education with highly respected world-renown teachers, who have absolutely changed my life sexually, and as a woman.
Do you have a dinner party story you'd like to share?
Yep ... absolutely but one that stands out to me is when I was at a good friend's 30th birthday dinner with the girls (we played netball together) and she announced that she'd like to do something crazy and go to a swingers party called 'Kimmi's '...well f*ck me, I nearly spat my drink out. I had played netball with this team for about 5 years and never breathed a word of my antics or that I was actually the very Kimmi she was talking about!
Her next question was, 'Who's been or would go with her?' Needless to say, I took a big deep breath in and revealed all. The looks on their faces, I'll never forget to this day!
I had a day job in an accounting firm, you know that quiet unsuspecting accounts chick. I loved going to work and having people ask me what I got up to on the weekend 'oh nothing, you?'.
It also made me giggle when people wouldn't want to tell me dirty jokes because I am naturally a reserved person, not knowing I probably hosted a 'Private Fantasy' on any given idle Tuesday night.
If you could give the younger you some advice, what would you say?
Say yes more than you say no when it comes to experimenting and opportunities (obviously with people you can trust); your experiences will help you grow in the future. And don't hide things from your mother - she can handle a lot more than you think.
Lastly, a quote from an old lady, your vagina doesn't have an odometer reading - go and have fun!
Are there any myths about your industry you'd like to debunk?
That swingers parties and adult events can't just be social and ONLY social, they can! And, the sex-party host probably isn't getting as much sex as you would think....lol
12 comments
Hotontop23
More than a month agoThis article and unique educator resonate deeply with so many women I know. It's very empowering to know that women are celebrating and embracing their erotic and sensual energy in ways that were once deemed unacceptable. I'm so glad to see younger people completing embracing their bodies for the joy and pleasure they bring to life. My life is about including pleasure and erotic joy in as many days as possible. My pussy has no odometer on it, and I'm so glad I'm not the only one.
ReplySexynewme
More than a month agoBrilliant article truly resonates with my own life. I would love to study what Wala has done and if possible be able to communicate with Wala. I’m 63 years old and it was like you were writing about my life. So thank you . Catherine
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ReplySex.Geek
More than a month agoHi Catherine,
This is my AMM profile if you'd like to make contact. However, I can honestly say that I have studied with various teachers here in Australia and around the world for the past 8 years and what I teach is based on taking all the bits that make 'real' and 'practical' sense and turning it into my own. But, please do reach out. I'm happy to help and share.
Wala x
Annandalesparky
More than a month agoGreat article. Good luck in your new venture, The world could do with more people like you xx
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ReplySex.Geek
More than a month agoNawww - thank you for your kind words and I genuinely appreciate you taking the time to post. Keep smiling and stay cheeky. xx
Wouldbanng
More than a month agoI miss Adelaide
Replybestperson
More than a month agoHi what's different to your teaching and Tantra sex
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ReplySex.Geek
More than a month agoWhat is your definition of Tantric Sex?
I teach people the four different types of touch and how to create clean and clear agreements around sexual interaction so that all people understand who is giving and who is receiving. This is not always clear, tantric sex or not.
KinkyGirl101
More than a month agohaha I've actually been to Kimmi's Parties! Great to see Wala loving her new career!
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ReplySex.Geek
More than a month agoThank you, I appreciate your words. It's taken me a long time to step out into the world as Wala but here I am for all to see - just in a different light! xx
cdorm77
More than a month agoEnjoyed the read... great article
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ReplySex.Geek
More than a month agoThank you, and thank you for inboxing me too xx