Your Guide to Dogging
Eva Sless
on 10 July 2020
40 comments
Although the term "dogging" was around in the 70s, its meaning over the years has changed from "men perving on unsuspecting couples getting it on in the outdoors" to the far more consensual and inclusive act that we know today. Dogging is the act of having public, or semi-public sex, with the knowledge and desire that you will be seen. It’s most commonly thought that the term derives from “dog walking” as it was often dog walkers in parks and remote areas that would come across these public sex scenes. But these days it’s far less about accidentally being sprung, and more about performing for a viewing audience of consenting adults, which is, I am sure you’ll agree, a far better way to get your kicks.
How does Dogging work?
Basically the aim of dogging is to find a secluded (but known) spot to get down n dirty with your lover, either in or out of your car, but with the specific intent of being watched, and even possibly (depending on specific signals etc that we’ll get into in a minute) have other people join you. Finding dogging locations and connecting with other doggers is getting a lot easier. You can list “dogging” or “outdoor sex” as interests on Adult Match Maker and it’s mentioned in member stories and profiles. You will also find dogging forums online which can all help you find people into the same things as you. But it really is imperative you understand all the risks involved, probably the most important of all being the legalities (or lack thereof) and what might happen if you get caught (more on that later).
So now what?
You’ve made the decision. You’ve looked up the spots. You know that Wednesday nights down at the car park near the old shearers shed is the popular night to play so you grab your partner, get in the car and head down there… Now what?
One of the key rules, according to my “dogging expert”, let’s call her “Snoopy”, is anonymity and discretion.
“You don’t want to know who anyone is, and they don’t want to know who you are. That’s part of the fun and excitement,” she says. “We all have names we use on the chat sites and that’s basically how we refer to each other.” She does say, however, that newbies to the scene may want to go with a more seasoned couple to begin with, “just so they get a feel of it all and don’t miss out on the fun due to not quite knowing what to do.”
“The other thing is to be discreet. Seriously. Be quiet. Don’t attract attention. Don’t whoop and carry on like an idiot. We don’t want anyone to know we’re there. That’s the first step to losing a great spot. Just shut up!”
Another key rule that Snoopy says is mandatory and expected is (thankfully) consent. “You must never join in unless invited,” she says. “There are a few different ways you can be asked to play, the most obvious one being verbally asked, but there are a few subtle ways you can let people know it’s okay to join in too.”
“If you’re playing in your car, for example, flashing the internal light says ‘watch us!’, while having the windows open means ‘come play with us too!’ There’s also the signal of flashing your headlights which tells people you’re keen for them to follow you somewhere for a bit of fun. Of course, even if they’re flashing a sign above their head saying ‘FUCK ME NOW’ it’s always a good idea to double check they’re okay with you joining in. Just in case they have the windows open for air or something.”
Who goes Dogging?
Like many out-of-the-box sexual lifestyles, the majority of people who get involved in dogging are couples, however unlike many other scenes (swinging for example) single women are often discouraged from turning up alone. “That’s to do with safety,” says Snoopy. “A single woman going alone to a notorious sex spot is unfortunately not safe. While we do pride ourselves on being a mature and consensual group, unfortunately you’re going to get some people who don’t play by the rules, and that can be dangerous, so we try and ask women to come with a friend.”
Can I just watch?
The thing about dogging is it is just as much about watching as it is about being watched and it's completely up to you to be as involved or as removed from the action as you feel comfortable. Of course, as a voyeur there are certain rules and behaviours that are expected. Be respectful and appreciative, but don't be too loud or try and direct their play. You're a watcher. Not a commentator or judge, and a polite "no thank you" is all you need if you're asked to join but don't want to.
The Dos and Don’ts of Dogging
Do Your research. Make sure you’re looking for dogging specific locations because there are a few other types of “public sex and solicitation” areas that aren’t what you’re looking for. Gay beats for example are absolutely not for hetero couples. Women are not wanted anywhere near those areas and it would be incredibly offensive to turn up with a woman and expect to be looked at. Another spot to avoid would be known areas where street based sex workers ply their trade. Not only can you bring attention to their work, which can have serious legal ramifications for all involved, but you could also scare off any of their potential customers costing them work and money.
Do Be respectful and kind and treat people how you would expect to be treated. I mean, it’s not rocket science, but it has to be said. Don’t be rude or derogatory to players and the general rule is no photos. If you’re not interested in playing or being played with a simple “no thank you” is all you need to say.
Do Be safe. Always wear a condom and make sure those you are playing with wear one. You’re essentially having faceless sex with a complete stranger… Be smart!
Do Leave it like you left it. Anything you bring in you take out. Don’t leave condom wrappers or (even worse) used condoms lying around it’s disgusting. Not only is it just revolting and not something the early morning walkers or kids playing need to find, it’s also terrible for the environment, so wrap it up and chuck it away. Seriously. Don’t be gross.
The legalities of Dogging
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but dogging for the most part is pretty much illegal. Not that that stops people from doing it. According to a survey conducted in the UK over 40% of respondents said they enjoyed getting out and about with their sex, making dogging second only to speeding as the most common “crime” people admit to committing. I’ve put crime in inverted commas because, in the UK (and most Australian states), while there isn’t exactly a specific law saying you can’t do it, there are a bunch of “common decency” laws such as indecent exposure and public lewdness that you can be charged for with punishments ranging from community service, jail time, and even being placed on a sex offender register.
Here in Australia (Especially in QLD and WA where there are specific laws against public sex) those fines and punishments can be even greater, with some punishments giving you 2 years jail time!
I tell you this not to frighten you, but to warn you and arm you to be prepared if it’s something you feel like you might want to try.
With all sex and sexual lifestyles there are going to be things to learn and educate yourself on before you get involved, and that can only serve to make you a better player all round. If dogging is something you think you may be keen on trying find a forum or a chat with people who are into the scene and don’t be afraid to ask questions. “Please ask!” Snoopy pleads. “Please! It is so much better to ask a question and get an obvious answer than to not ask, and then find yourself in a situation that could have been avoided. We are a friendly, outgoing bunch of people and we were all new once so we know what it’s like. There is no such thing as a stupid question… Just stupid people who don’t ask questions and then possibly ruin a good time for everyone.”
So there you have it! Dogging 101! Get out, get on, and get down… Safely of course!
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