Love means never having to say “sorry I farted”

It can be the turning point in a new relationship; being comfortable enough to fart in front of your partner for the first time. It’s obviously not first date appropriate, but how long should you wait until you sneak one out and why is science telling us that farting is good for us? 

How long until you can fart in front of your partner?

A 2017 survey found that most felt it was acceptable after 3-6 months of dating. To put that in perspective, not wearing makeup and not shaving your legs or pubic hair came in at the 3 month mark while after 6 months it was ok to pee with the door open. So it’s kinda in the middle and was on par with scratching your genitals. 

Another survey the same year (was 2017 the year of the fart?) found that 7% of people said they had never farted in front of their partner, 73% wait for their partner to break the silence and 33% said it was acceptable once you start sleeping over. The survey also found it takes 2-6 months for someone to actually feel comfortable about farting in front of their love interest. 

Back in 2005 there was another survey which looked specifically at gender differences when it came to farting. It turns out straight women and gay men were the most worried that their partner would be disgusted with them if they farted. Women were less inclined to fart in public but straight men were only worried if there was a woman around. But holding your farts in can be very difficult to maintain in an ongoing relationship where you are spending time in your partner’s personal space. 

Why is farting good for a relationship?

One thing researchers agree with is that farting is not only good for our relationships, it can be central to a successful relationship! 

Gee I hope my partner is reading this! 

Let’s face it, when you start a new relationship you put your best side forward. You shave your legs, wax, pluck or shave your pubic hair, wear matching underwear and try to pretend that anything to do with bodily fluids doesn’t exist or if it does, it happens very quietly and preferably at your place when you’re alone. To put it bluntly there is generally a moratorium on farts often referred to as the fart barrier. 

Happy couples apparently agree that the moment you get gross with someone it strengthens your intimacy, whether that involves them being sick or an awkward bodily function. And it’s important for couples to know that their partner isn’t perfect. Accepting someone for who they are, farts and all, is part of unconditional love and being totally at ease with that person. 

Another school of thought is that couples who are comfortable farting in front of each other may actually have more exciting sex lives because they are comfortable with their bodies and less likely to have inhibitions. And let’s face it sex is as intimate as you can get, queefing and all.

And you have to admit, having a giggle after a rip snorting one leaves the gates is definitely a defining relationship moment. Or is that just me?

Why do farts smell so bad?

A study by Monash University found that farts smell so bad primarily because of our protein rich diet. It’s all about gut health! When we consume a high protein diet our gut produces seven times more bacteria rich in hydrogen sulphide. Switching to a diet higher in slow releasing carbs will actually make you fart more but will significantly improve the smell of your farts.

It’s normal to fart or burp between 14-22 times a day but if you have an excessive problem you can increase your intake or healthy pro-biotics, try to reduce stress, or keep a food diary and work with a dietician to adjust your diet.

Smelling your partner’s farts might be good for your health

Research published in the journal of Medicinal Chemistry Communications studied the effects of hydrogen sulfide which is the smelly portion of the gas you produce when you fart (although it accounts for only 1%). Over time our cells become less active and eventually stop dividing which is part of the natural decline as we age. By exposing mitochondria – the powerhouses of the cells – to small doses of hydrogen sulfide it gave them a boost. So scientists believe farting, or at least the gas itself, could actually be the key to increasing an individual’s healthy lifespan.  

So quit blaming the dog and own up to your farts. And just tell your partner you’re doing it for your relationship and their health.