Let's Bust Some Sex Myths

Eva Sless Eva Sless on 22 March 2019    47 comments
Woman looking through a magnifying glass appearing to inspect the camera

Sex education is definitely getting better, but there are still some untruths and misconceptions that do the rounds and make it harder for the real education to come through. Here are some of the most common myths and lies about sex that you should stop listening to and spreading around.

Lots of Sex Will Ruin A Vagina

Nope. Just nope. The idea that a woman who has lots of sex will have a “loose” vagina is unequivocally, absolutely, 100% false. In fact it’s the opposite. The more sex you have, the stronger and tighter your vagina will become. The ONLY reason this idea gets trotted out is to shame women for having sex and categorise them into good and bad. It’s bullshit. In the same way that having sex will not wear down a penis and make it smaller and thinner, neither will lots of sex make a vagina bigger. Stop perpetuating this lie. 

The Bigger The Penis The Greater The Sex

As we have continued to prove with our many interviews and surveys with both women and men about enjoyable sex and preferences, penis size is only a (no pun intended) small part of the whole thing. Yes some women LOVE big dicks, some won’t go near them with a ten foot pole, and others are indifferent, but the consensus seems to be that, overall, even if you’re one of the “I only fuck guys with big dicks” crowd, technique and skill in all the sexual areas (mouth, hands, words etc) is far more desirable that just having a tree trunk in your pants. 

If You Can’t Have A Vaginal Orgasm There Is Something Wrong With You

This is such a dangerous and damaging idea that can make many women feel inadequate and abnormal, and when I say many… I mean it. The thing is around 75% of women have never, and will probably never achieve a vaginal orgasm and that’s got nothing to do with her or the people she sleeps with. According to research by Kim Wallen, a professor of psychology and neuroendocrinology at Emory University, this all boils down to the unchangeable “rule of thumb”, which looks at the distance between a woman’s vagina and her clitoris. The closer the distance, the more likely she is to be able to achieve the elusive internal orgasm but it’s only around 30% of the female population who fall into that category.

Women Want Relationships, Men Want Sex Without Strings

This is another bullshit lie perpetuated by people who have a vested interest in keeping toxic masculinity and toxic femininity in the mix. The idea that men are just mindless sex machines who don’t care about the woman beyond the holes she has, and that women are only interested in trapping men into relationships is just bullshit. Yes sure, some people do fall into those categories, but mostly the need for human intimacy and connection, as well as the need for just getting your rocks off sometimes, is universal and genderless. 

STIs Mean You Are Dirty And Gross

Like most of the myths we’re busting, this one is as old as time and is mostly designed to shame people away from having sex. Yes, getting an STI is a pretty big deal and not one to be ignored or taken lightly, but the idea that only trashy people contract them is completely untrue. The thing is STIs are common as fuck, and the instances are growing. Bad education as well as shame are the two biggest factors in the rise of these diseases with people not being aware of the risks and the ways to prevent them. Yes condoms are a very effective tool in helping to combat certain infections, but there are many (including herpes, HPV and lice) that a condom will do nothing to protect you from. Getting a sexual health check if you are a regularly sexually active person is nothing to be ashamed about. In fact it should be the number one thing you do as a sexual person to look after not only your own health but the health of those you sleep with.

Let’s remove the stigma, and start celebrating good sexual health.

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Comments (47)

  • gonefishing69

    gonefishing69
    58M Clemton Park, NSW,
     AU

    You are full of shit about big dicks.
    Most/majority of woman want BIG
    Put your glasses on and read the profiles.
    >4w
    • DeliciousEva

      DeliciousEva
      48F Reservoir, VIC,
       AU

      Uh huh.
      Or you could, you know, read our blogs with actual quotes from real women about what they want when it comes to penis size.
      >4w
    • DDdelite

      DDdelite
      Account closed

      Oh my, someone has a small member is what I'm thinking.
      I have enjoyed lots of sex over the past few decades and the older I get the better it is......... AND I can assure you it has fuck all to do with cock size. Unfortunately or fortunately (is how I choose to view it), due to me not taking my kegles seriously enough and the natural aging process, I have a stage 3 uterus prolapse. All that means is I can no longer take a big cock and still have mind blowing sex and also lucky enough to still be able to have multiple orgasms.
      >4w
    Reply
  • logical01

    logical01
    Account closed

    Well written.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Gordo1970

    Gordo1970
    54M Campbelltown, NSW,
     AU

    Here's a question, what about when a man can't achieve orgasm, he can get erect but can't finish?
    >4w
    • Ifuwannadome

      Ifuwannadome
      61F Hobart, TAS,
       AU

      If his partner is caring she wont care just take a break and start again or dont worry abt it stress tiredness lots of reasons for this happening no big deal
      >4w
    Reply
  • friskypuz

    friskypuz
    Account closed

    I love getting my rocks off.lol
    I have a fwb with no strings, who helps me with that..lol
    Am a dirty, naughty cum slutt and l don't care, what or who thinks otherwise
    Just here for the sex, don't need the hassle of anything else, life is to short not to enjoy..
    >4w
    Reply
  • Nigellassecrets

    Nigellassecrets
    Account closed

    Dont forget u can get an STI from oral sex. How many people practice 'safe' sex during oral....hmmm
    >4w
    • HappyCple569

      HappyCple569
      Account closed

      Yep, agree victoria, We have always thought, if your not using a condom for oral sex, its a bit pointless using one for vaginal sex. Would really like a difinitive answer to this, as there seems to be quite a divided opinion, what do the sexperts say?
      >4w
    • DeliciousEva

      DeliciousEva
      48F Reservoir, VIC,
       AU

      Pretty much the only thing you can't get from oral sex is pregnant. Yes the risks for certain things can be lower... But they are still there.
      So yes. To be as safe as you can (there is nothing 100% safe but abstinence) you should always practise safe oral sex. With either condoms or dams.
      >4w
    Reply
  • Sissymilf

    Sissymilf
    56NB Hurstville, NSW,
     AU

    Darling
    My pusdy is much bigger than it was and cis girls i know who play with toys and big cocks are definitely stretched. More sex and bigger dicks and toys dies take its toll. A friend once said she fucked by so many big cocks that she was ruined for the average man. So My dear maybe you need to do some more research
    >4w
    • DeliciousEva

      DeliciousEva
      48F Reservoir, VIC,
       AU

      Designer vaginas (if that's what you mean) work a little differently to cis ones and same with the anal passage if that's what you meant. Sorry, I wasn't quite sure which.
      And, brace yourself here... "I've heard stories/my friend told me" are not akin to over 20 years of research, reading, speaking to gynaecological specialists and other sexual health professionals and vagina owners.
      And while yes, things like prolapse and other pelvic floor and muscle damage can occur from excessive pressure etc on the area most of these things are able to be fixed, and are not just caused by big dick or toys.
      Perhaps the next time your friends complain about looseness you could suggest they look into kegel balls and pelvic floor exercises.
      :)
      >4w
    • Sissymilf

      Sissymilf
      56NB Hurstville, NSW,
       AU

      Doing keegals to keep a pussy tight is different to the blog that to paraphrase states getting smashed by big cock will result in a tighter pussy.
      As for my friend ( who i grew up with) she use to have trouble putting in a tampon. Now takes double fists and has a pussy that went from looking like a slit to one that is like a chainsaw wound
      >4w
    • DeliciousEva

      DeliciousEva
      48F Reservoir, VIC,
       AU

      Again... Thanks for your input...
      But vaginas work differently to other passages.
      Sure, just allowing something to passively smash into it having on a regular basis (and by passively smash I to it I mean absolutely no reacting or moving or allowing the body to do what it naturally does when certain areas are stimulated which, in itself could be an underlying problem) may result in looseness... But that's not really how they work when it comes to intercourse, unless there are other possible issues with the pelvic floor or other internal areas.
      Also... Not being able to originally insert a tampon, to one day being able to sit on a traffic cone or push out a baby is the natural progression of the vagina... They change shape and look as we get older.
      That's normal.
      That doesn't make it "loose" or "gross" . It makes it grown up and able to do its job.
      >4w
    • MandyM73

      MandyM73
      Account closed

      I disagree.
      Maybe hers wasn’t tight to begin with ?.
      Honestly I’ve given birth twice naturally and I’ve had more then decent sized anatomy’s inside mine. It’s tight, still more then pleasant and I do exercises etc.
      Chain saw wound is a pretty derogatory term to use in all honesty :(
      >4w
    Reply
  • Playtime.mmmm

    Playtime.mmmm
    61F Dee Why, NSW,
     AU

    I think we all have the freedom now days to be as we wish to be, with no shame.
    I can totally understand having a FWB situation, it doesnt mean i want a relationship with them. Yes some of us enjoy getting our rocks off. It doesnt mean i dont have the space in my heart for the emotional connection, if n when that special person comes into my life.
    It also doesnt mean i will sleep with every Tom, Dick and Harry that offers his cocks services.
    I am discerning who i play with.
    But if there is sexually charged chemistry, between people, fwb, fb, why should we as consenting adults in 2019 have any guilt about enjoying that part of life, be it Male or Female.
    >4w
    • MissTique.2

      MissTique.2
      Account closed

      I agree with you Play and nice if it works and no one is getting hurt. I succumbed to FWB often previously, but i eventually realised I had to close it down when one party grew feelings and the other didn't - to prevent him/me from getting hurt. It's pretty rare to find "that special one" if you started something with FWB tho. It became a fickle cycle to me. I orgasm or have sex often - do we need to call it getting our rocks off? We dont have to act like men - rejoice in being a woman. But if there is sexully charged chemistry or that attraction, why not call it dating? Cos thats what we're doing folks... all bouncing off each other, hoping to find that special one. I'm no prude, I have experienced and listened to people for many years in this situation and it doesnt work for the majority of those people. It's actually quite soul destroying for some. There is NOTHING wrong with telling someone what you truly want (if you know that yourself), but unfortunately in this day a relationship or committment is almost a swear word.... and I put that down to FWB... Men are getting what they want without putting in any effort. And women are convinced it's cool. Ahhhh let the cycle continue eh?
      >4w
    • DeliciousEva

      DeliciousEva
      48F Reservoir, VIC,
       AU

      Getting your rocks off is genderless.
      Cheers.
      >4w
    • MandyM73

      MandyM73
      Account closed

      Let’s face it, it starts off great but of kind of you grows ‘ feels ‘ it’s done and dusted if it isn’t reciprocated, that’s the truth.
      >4w
    Reply
  • ispywithmy

    ispywithmy
    40M Footscray, VIC,
     AU

    Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but what annoys me is when opinions are confused with facts. Most of the people (singles, and most to me is say more than 50%) are after sex, or something casual. Therefore things like penis size do come into account along with several other things (maybe chemistry, looks, interests). How many ladies profiles state that they are looking for guys that are well above average ( have it stated in their profile, or validations, or pictures they might have). It’s more than a 1/3. Yes it’s not the be all and end all blah blah blah.
    And this site, talking to various members, I think the amount of men just looking for sex (as a percentage of total amount of men) compared to the amount of women just looking
    For sex (as a percentage of total) is heavily weighed on the male side. Doesn’t matter how you put it, say it, draw it. Men and women are different and being different is not a bad thing. It’s what makes us unique and what makes life interesting. Otherwise, the ratio of men to women would be 1:1, not 10:1.
    I mean no disrespect to anyone that falls into catorgies not male or female. But currently there are 63 recognised genders (UN) and I don’t know what they all are.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Ifuwannadome

    Ifuwannadome
    61F Hobart, TAS,
     AU

    Well regardless of opinions if theres no sensuality closeness or connection ive gone walkies
    >4w
    Reply
  • MissTique.2

    MissTique.2
    Account closed

    Who writes this tripe?
    These "myths" MUST have been made up by school children....
    Oh, apart from the Women want relationships, men want sex without strings.... Author, which planet did you come from? Your feminism is fucking up relationships, women are NOT wired for "getting our rocks off", WE DONT HAVE ROCKS HONEY thats why women become upset when our FWB doesnt call enough (and don't deny you have done this youself)..... You want to celebrate good sexual health, let's get in touch with our emotions again, we are NOT animals.
    >4w
    • KinkyGirl101

      KinkyGirl101
      50F NSW,
       AU

      You've obviously never heard the term "like sleeve of wizard" which is used to slut shame a sexually active woman. Thank god we've moved on from that. And who makes up these myths ... in my experience Cosmo sexperts. They're still out there, still perpetuating even weirder stuff. It's sorting out the good from the bad and not perpetuating them which is important.
      Thanks for another great article Eva.
      >4w
    • MissTique.2

      MissTique.2
      Account closed

      Be a happy slut.... who cares what others think...... It's thinking we can do the FWB that's taking our self esteem away. I have tried it and listened to many other women whinging cos their FWB dont wanna take it further than that. Why dont we (women) try saying what we want and meaning what we say? No wonder men are confused and treating us like sexual objects. FWB works for women that already have an emotional connection with someone else that isn't rocking their boat.... not a single woman that feminism has bullied into denying she actually wants to feel loved.... Just a thought :-)
      >4w
    • DeliciousEva

      DeliciousEva
      48F Reservoir, VIC,
       AU

      I've got plenty of rocks. I get them off regularly as do many women on this site and elsewhere.
      I also don't get my knickers in a knot over a FWB not being in continuous contact.
      The problem with absolutes is they never actually fit.
      And you will notice I never use them when speaking of people's preferences (current sentence excluded).
      So forgive me if I keep writing for everyone and not just one individual who can't see beyond their own experiences.
      >4w
    • motorcade

      motorcade
      61F Melbourne, VIC,
       AU

      Its time to release yourself from the shackles of gender steroptyping MissT; and also realise you do not speak for all women. I love a good NSA fuck, but that doesn't mean I'll fuck a man just because he asks or just because i'm horny. Its called having integrity, not "being a slut" . I also enjoy more permanent relationships based on respect and shared values.
      Interests change and vary over time. You've got to undstand and be okay with that surely? The sweeping generalisations about how females and males "should" behave only serve to limit freedom and belong in the past.
      And BTW , I dont want an emotional connection with a fuck buddy, not do I expect it from him. It took me awhile to realise that men often think NSA/FWB means on tap whenever it suits him. I now avoid that insult by ensuring he understands thats not going to happen.
      >4w
    • AMM.Editor

      AMM.Editor
      Staff Account

      A large Canadian study (those horny Canuks) found that the #1 reason the women who took part in the study had casual sex was because they were turned on by the other person and horny. So women do want to "get their rocks off" and the old fashioned idea that they are only out to have sex to find a partner is exactly that, old fashioned for many women especially those reading this post on AMM.
      >4w
    • MandyM73

      MandyM73
      Account closed

      Women are wired for casual sex ‘ PERIOD ‘, you can only pull it off for a certain period of time, you are quite simply deluded or not in touch with your emotions of you think you can do it long term :)
      >4w
    Reply
  • wickedcat

    wickedcat
    Account closed

    Great article .....
    As a "glutton for punishment" (I have 3 ex wives), I have heard the misconceptions many times over, but the one thing that all ex's agree on is that 98% of guys with big dicks .... are just that ... big dicks ... with no idea on the finesse required to provide comfortable and enjoyable sex for BOTH participants.
    I believe, unfortunately, that there are too many extremely conservative people in this world that want all things sexual to be well and truly hidden ... and until these conservatives receive a well deserved "wake up call", it will take articles like this to slowly reach the masses and provide the real information that puts an end to the BS.
    >4w
    • MandyM73

      MandyM73
      Account closed

      Well I disagree, in fact these men have been better all round let me tell you :)
      I’ve also found most men that aren’t adequately hung say that :)
      >4w
    • ispywithmy

      ispywithmy
      40M Footscray, VIC,
       AU

      Everyone has a different idea on what constitutes ‘good sex’/experience. But there a very few women that state an active limit on penis size. Might be for good reason for this?
      >4w
    • wickedcat

      wickedcat
      Account closed

      Everyone is different ... and have different tastes, which makes the world what it is.
      The point of this article is relating to "myths" ... not "preferences".
      >4w
    Reply
  • oakentree

    oakentree
    56M Woodcroft, SA,
     AU

    well doesn't matter who you are or sex we 90%will have in our sexual life receive unwanted sti from Chlamydia to the latest so called shameful sexual disease that depending if your a male u will know u have and some woman will never know they have.Chlamydia easily treated and yes you will all have an opinion and so you should,going to a doctor and self noticing a change or something simple like a wart(which are not always sexual few years ago i noticed a white wart like nodule showed on penis apparently childs wart not contagious and few weeks later disappeared)ask your doc, inspect yourself, nothing worse than being told oh i have tell u i have Chlamydia do not abuse the man or woman appreciate they told so u can be tested or treated,this disease simple pills and done.But regular checks by self or partner and doctor saves lots off nasty dare i say crap because people lie human nature.Be aware of changes or a stranger danger lol yes lol we all have had sex with unknown partners in past.I am a man and women can have a sti and not know so don't make a lady feel less just say i had sti test and this is what it is,accept the honesty it sucks yes but at least he told you,not ah just a girl i am okay,don't blame the partner just be little grown up and deal with it,its never nice to be told but 1.pass on to others2.think wow that took honesty for him/her to tell me and go to the doctor and sort it,3 be an ass abuse the person and wonder why sti's are transmitted because of shame and being honest was very hurtful, personally prefer told and act like an adult and deal with it properly.That is why sti's progress shame and abuse the honesty and heart it took for the man/girl to say sorry but this is whats happened, and what is the end result people lie so nasty sti keeps on going, we are adults a man can wear a condom and you ladies you going out and buy a femidom yes female condom,and there are stis condoms don't stop, comes down to honesty self examination and regular checks and be thankful not because you caught sti/or passed it on. but the partner cared enough to tell you they found out from a check. ps:this will be interesting blog
    >4w
    Reply
  • Ifuwannadome

    Ifuwannadome
    61F Hobart, TAS,
     AU

    yep hate big dicks totally
    >4w
    • oakentree

      oakentree
      56M Woodcroft, SA,
       AU

      i read a papers written on same topic ,each to own preference basically a woman's vagina are all around same depth to cervix(will never say i remember exact dimensions but apparently 4-5 deep(average) i am not Wikipedia lol) comes down to personal likes dislikes, or young people learning about sex from porn and not reading what real people have done or lived in life,
      >4w
    • DeliciousEva

      DeliciousEva
      48F Reservoir, VIC,
       AU

      Oakentree. I think you mean vagina.
      :)
      The vulva has length but not depth its the outside bit.
      The vagina is the tunnel bit that goes towards the cervix.
      But otherwise, great comments.
      >4w
    • MissTique.2

      MissTique.2
      Account closed

      Haha, it's not about the size, it's the way you use it
      >4w
    • Gordo1970

      Gordo1970
      54M Campbelltown, NSW,
       AU

      Yeah unfortunately not an issue for me, when I get undressed in front of a lady she asks
      "Who do you think you're going to satisfy with THAT?"
      I reply
      "Me!"
      >4w
    • MandyM73

      MandyM73
      Account closed

      I don’t know if you are being sarcastic or not but I love them and honestly it’s not always how you use it, nothing makes up for sheer size.
      I geek like if you don’t like them you simply haven’t had an experience that’s worth talking about :)
      >4w
    • nortynewbies

      nortynewbies
      Account closed

      I've had guys who looked big (maybe 8") but I managed to take them, and I have had guys who were TOO BIG who were very proud of what they looked like but for me it was just painful and unenjoyable. Too little, i admit I do not have respect for the guy, no matter if he uses tongue or fingers to perfection, but too big and I am not interested thank you, particularly if he is very thick, I have not had a baby yet so do not need to dilate to that size thank you
      >4w
    Reply
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