7 Things You Might Not Know About Testicles
Eva Sless
on 13 November 2018
19 comments
We talk a lot about dicks and vaginas on this blog, either to educate, inform or entertain, and all of us – including the writers and readers – have learnt a lot. One thing we noticed, however, as much as we talk about genitals in all their bits and glory, one thing we have neglected (which is unfortunately often the case in a lot of sex) is the balls.
Those funny little kiwifruit looking things dangling at the back are as vital to sex, enjoyment, and sexual health as every other bit down there and it’s time we celebrated and educated about them a little bit more, so we have done just that.
Here are 7 fascinating things about testicles you may not have known.
1. How’s It Hanging
Like pretty much all of our body bits the testicles are asymmetrical which means they are not identical mirror images of each other. One is always a little larger, and one always hangs a little lower (around 65% of men have a larger right testicle, which is also usually the higher one) This is thought to be not much more than a comfort thing so everything kind of fits without getting in the other’s way, and is absolutely nothing to worry about medically or physically.
2. Do The Twist
The balls are two completely separated organs and are divided by a thin membrane so, like stated above with the different sizes etc, this avoids them getting in the way of the other and prevents things like them getting tangled together. Good news huh! The bad news is that while yes, your balls won’t tangle up together, there is the possibility of one testicle getting a bit twisted inside the scrotum and can cause not only a hell of a lot of pain and discomfort, but if not treated quickly can also result in permanent damage and the literal removal of one of your balls.
3. Blue Balls Exist
Okay so that tired old excuse of “blue balls” to guilt girls into sleeping with those boys in high school is, to a degree, correct. When a guy gets all aroused and erect the blood flow and anticipated activity can cause a bit of pressure and discomfort in the pants area and can turn the balls a slightly purple-ish colour. The lie/deception/coercion comes from the fact that guys often reckon it’s up to “her” to relieve the pain/pressure or it’s “her fault” it happened. Nah, man. Release is release. It doesn’t need sex or a vagina. Go rub one out in the bathroom, you’ll be right.
4. What’s In A Name
Did you know the word “testicles” is derived from the Latin word “Testis” which means “to witness” and in courts in Ancient Rome men had to swear on their testicles that they were telling the truth (you know, to “testify”). Something tells us that if men still had to swear on their balls, rather than a mythical sky-fairy, perhaps there’d possibly be less perjury in the system.
5. Smaller and Louder
According to a study done at Cambridge University there is a direct correlation between the mating noises of an animal and the size of its testicles. So basically the smaller the balls the louder the scream. It’s known in science circles as an “Evolutionary Trade-Off” and basically means that animals will develop one trait to overcompensate for another that may be lacking.
6. Smaller but Bigger
Speaking of testicles, in the animal kingdom did you know that the largest balls on any animal (according to scale) are those of the tuberous bush cricket which make up around 14% of the insect’s entire weight! To put this into perspective, if the average human man had the same ratio of balls to body weight, his testicles would weigh about the equivalent of six bags of sugar each.
7. Touch Me, Touch Me
While yes, the balls are an incredibly sensitive and delicate area and need to be protected from damage and extreme temperatures, they are also an area capable of extreme pleasure and sexual enjoyment. To those out there who enjoy playing with penises sexually don’t be afraid to touch the balls, gently squeeze them, stroke them, lick them, play with them. They’re just as important to a fun and exciting sex life as all those other bits!
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