10 of the Best Euphemisms for Sex

Eva Sless Eva Sless on 30 January 2019    13 comments
Two pairs of cowboy boots sitting outside in the dirt

Sex! One of the most fun things you can do to pass the time. It’s universal, it’s eternal, and it’s sometimes bloody hilarious. There are so many ways to talk about it, describe it, say it without saying it… So we’ve compiled ten of our favourite euphemisms for sex. 

1. Rooting

Of course we have to start with the Aussie-ism we all know and love that pretty much no-one else in the world uses. Oh how we titter behind our hands when a serious faced American sportscaster announces to the camera that the whole town is rooting for the local sports team. Yeah it’s a little bit juvenile and bogan, but it’s our word and we love it almost as much as we love rooting.

2. Netflix And Chill

The “booty call” phrase of the new millennium. If someone invites you over to their place for “Netflix and Chill” it doesn’t actually mean, “hey wanna come over and sit on the couch and binge watch alien documentaries”, it means “hey let’s fuck” but just in a slightly less direct way.

3. Afternoon Delight

Immortalised in the 1976 song by Starland Vocal Band, Afternoon Delight is a nice way of saying you had a bit of nookie on your lunch break or perhaps on a lazy Saturday afternoon. The song itself is full of fun euphemisms and cute innuendos and totally encapsulates the cool, free-loving vibe of the 70s.

4. Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow

This funky phrase is the verbal interpretation of that cheesy 70s porno music. You say it with a cheeky grin and a swagger in your hips and it makes you want to grow a bushy mo and a bushy bush, dim the lights and lay down on some red satin sheets for some soulful lovin’ to Barry White.

5. Snu-Snu

Good news, everybody! Like almost anything the Simpsons’ creator does, the war cry of the Amazonian Warrior race in Futurama, “Death By Snu-Snu!!” has snuck its way into our vernacular and seems to be here to stay. Don’t have a cow, man, if you gotta go out by warrior attack, this is probably one of the better ways to go.

6. The Beast With Two Backs

How good is Shakespeare! The man who brought us such gems of wisdom like “all that glitters is not gold”, and beautiful phrasing like “the earth has music for those who listen”, is also responsible for describing sex between two people as “making the beast with two backs”, and while it may be slightly crass, it’s also a pretty good description.

7. Bumping Uglies

This is a great one. It’s funny and descriptive and a bit rude which, when you think about it, is what sex kind of is. While we definitely believe in sex positivity, and don’t think anyone’s genitals are “ugly”, we do have to admit that they can be totally hilarious body parts and mashing them together in sex can look rather ridiculous even in its awesomeness.

8. Knocking Boots

This phrase apparently stems all the way back to the cowboy days and the sex workers of the Wild West. When the cowboys would venture off into the room with their chosen lady they’d place their boots under the bed which, during their time together, would bounce up and down, pushing the boots together under the bed and create a knocking sound. 

9. Making Whoopee

To many people these days, if you said this they might mistake what you mean and think you’re talking about farting, but in the 1920s there was no mistaking it. Written into script and song, this meant you were having sex, and it was a lot of fun too “Whoopee!” 

10. The Horizontal Tango

The Tango is a sensual dance of lust and eroticism. The pull and push, the give and take, the dance of love between a Latino stallion and his rose-holding Señorita… Now turn that position horizontal rather than the upright vertical of a dance, and it’s easy to see why this is a phrase that will probably never date or go out of style.

However you say it, however you do it, sex is enjoyable and funny and, for the most part, should be taken with a dash of silliness, a splash of laughter, and a whole lot of fun. Because really, isn’t that what it’s all about in the end?

Do you have a favourite slang way of talking about the ol’ in out in out? Let us know in the comments!

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