What’s it really like to go to a sex party!
Emma Sachsse
on 29 April 2018
20 comments
Is it just me or are journalists using the fact they are journalists as an excuse to go and check out a sex party? So many of the articles I have read about sex parties seem to be by someone who would ordinarily “never go to one” but for you, dear reader they put themselves in the lion's den to report back. And then, they only go to one very exclusive party and meet a few people and then leave before it gets too sticky or interesting.
Now, whether they say this because it’s a nationally syndicated newspaper and their mum reads it, so they don’t want to talk about the two Frenchmen who pleasured them while a sexy tattooed hunk watched them while he got a blowjob from the pretty accountant, I don’t know. What I do know is every time I read one I am bored and don’t feel like it really would give anyone an idea of what it is like to go to a sex party. It does let you know what it is like to go as a good looking journalist to an expensive, exclusive one (for which they also always claim they never pay because “insert story of knowing some guy who knows some guy”) with no intention of actually having sex.
Okay, I get why these articles are necessary. Sex parties are something mysterious and sexy and forbidden and unknown and if you haven’t been to one you want to know about them. In reality, they are just like any other party you might attend. If you don’t know many people there, it will be intimidating. If you have been to a party at this person's house before and you know most of the guests, then you will feel more comfortable. Honestly, you will find the same types of people you would find at any number of social gatherings. A real mix of people and professions, the only thing they have in common is the desire to have sex. So really, just like any party!
So here is the deal, I went to a few, and yes the first time I was a little like those journalists, I chose an exclusive one and took a very trusted friend to hold my hand. He was happy to accompany me as men were not allowed to attend without a female. Like any nightclub, you don’t just want a ton of guys standing around the edge of the dance floor while a couple of hot girls dance with each other on a podium.
I spent the "drinks/getting to know you while clothed" part of the evening feeling incredibly awkward. I had a couple of champagnes to quell the nerves but not so much that I was in any way drunk. Most decent parties are careful about inebriation of any kind. No one wants any confusion about consent, or any regrets the next day. Anyway, after a while people start to go and change out of their clothes, leaving some underwear or lingerie on or getting completely naked and then going downstairs. This was going to be a big step for me, I had some qualms about getting naked or even mostly naked in front of a bunch of strangers. Albeit very nice and polite strangers. In fact, I hadn't been naked in front of the friend I took to hold my hand. I should have thought that one through because by the end of the night I had seen everything thing on him and had seen it being sucked by a very sexy brunette. In the end, I didn’t do anything other than observe that first night, and I spent a lot of time upstairs chatting with people in various states of undress as they took a break and rehydrated. I also got to see a lot of people having sex downstairs. Sometimes a lot of them together, so in that sense, I was no better than those nosey journalists. The great thing was that no one minded. Everyone did their best to make me feel welcome, and the only difficulty I had was getting my friend to leave when I wanted to.
The next time I went to the same party, I went alone, and I felt more comfortable, I had texted the hosts, and they had assured me that there would be a couple of guys there who would be my type and that they would look after me. ThePussyKats were always excellent hosts, friendly and clear on the rules to keep things safe and comfortable for everyone. I never did get used to being offered snacks while naked and wrapped around a naked torso but not only was it hospitable, I worked out later it was a welfare check.
Anyway, the second time was a lot more fun, I was still nervous, but I had more of an idea of what went on and knew that I could do as much or as little as I wanted, that there was no pressure and as promised, there were some sexy men there. So I ended up having sex with a couple of guys and even tried some girl on girl action in a group setting, but it wasn’t for me, so I went back to the one on one with the hot tattooed hunk. Unfortunately, I was still a little self-conscious. Yes, I know that sounds weird coming from someone who is naked and having sex in a room full of people but I just couldn’t completely relax. Luckily the hunk was happy to accompany me home where I could feel less self-conscious but still turned on by my adventure, and I could finally orgasm. I went to parties at this place a few more times and had a fun time. I did prefer their "swingles" parties to the "swingers" nights as I found having someone talk you into having sex with her husband while she stroked my thigh and cheered us on was just a little too surreal for me. But I did like it when as I was chatting casually with one man he pointed proudly at the very vocal woman being fucked on the bed next to us and said that was his wife. Because of the great experiences I had at these well-organised events, I was now open to going to other sex parties and each time was disappointing. When it isn’t well organised, and the timing isn’t strict, and the rules are not clear it just becomes a disorganised messy orgy. Which might be your thing but it wasn’t mine. You would find yourself arriving and being shown into the party to stand around while those that had been there longer were going for it. So no “getting to know you” time and nowhere to put your handbag that felt safe. And some very unattractive bottoms gyrating in front of you as you open your bottle of wine and wonder how long you have to stay until no one will notice you leave.
At one of these apartment parties, another couple arrived at around the same time, and they also felt that this particular sex party wasn’t what they were looking for. Eventually, all four of us snuck out and got a hotel room nearby with the intention of having a private sex party. Even that got awkward in the end because it was just the four of us and his wife had never done anything like that before and didn’t seem keen on me having sex with her husband. Although she did seem keen on having sex with my incredibly sexy date. So I left him with them and made my way home.
I don’t go to sex parties anymore but I deliberately went to one of the good ones when I knew it would be my last and it was me that got to be pleasured by those two incredibly hot Frenchmen at once, and it was magnifique (translation; bloody brilliant!). I even overcame my shyness and relaxed enough to orgasm in public.
20 comments
Wannaplay2195
More than a month agoI want try it but wife worry about her body size . But cool when we with couples and guys .
ReplyFancyTicklers
More than a month agoOur experience is that 'sex' parties can be pretty much like any other parties..... All of the men wanting to participate and prepared to engage with any of the women. All of the women being particularly selective and only interested in a few men.
ReplyThey are not the place to go if you think sexual attraction is about fairness. They are a wonderful environment for women to experiment and for couples where the man supports this. They can be a more challenging experience for couples where the man may be perceived to be less desirable than the woman.
At some parties, there is obviously a strong social element.... which is definitely more inclusive for those on the inside... but can be daunting for new-comers. It takes time to get to know people and relax but the effort is worth it.
My feeling is that if you're a couple that don't mind if one partner gets lucky and the other doesn't, then swinger parties could be great. If you take the view that either both of you or neither of you should be able to play, then a weekend party probably isn't going to work out the way you expect unless you're both stunners.
Just because people attend a sex party, does not mean they are necessarily any more or less empathetic, welcoming or plain nice, than any other type of party.
For new comers, I think a more general option like Saints and Sinners where there's a huge crowd and room to opt in or out is a better option.
SEQsParties
More than a month agoCheck Louis Theroux's "Weird Weekends" Swingers
ReplyHe visits a house party in the US. It is all very similar to our house parties here.
SEQsParties
More than a month agoLike everything, parties are well run, or not well run, have great nights or bad nights or quite OK nights.
ReplyWe have a formula and rules that work very well.
There are designated "Greedy Girls" parties where we have two to three guys per lady so everyone knows the deal.
We have couples and singles parties with just a few more guys than girls. Extra guys because there are always ladies who want a few guys. Again, everyone knows the deal beforehand and can assess if that is what works for them.
There are parties where people find an awesome match or an OK match and others where they do not find a match. No problem, there is always next week.
Between myself and my friends who also host parties hundreds and hundreds of people come along each year. Some come to everything, some now and then, some once a year and some it is not for them. At least they took the plunge.
They are very active parties and newbies are made to feel welcome. We introduce them around if that is what they want. No cliquey groups
Our bottom line is "It is all about the ladies". Guys especially are told about the importance of the rules on entry. Any complaints are dealt with.
nudebiorgiesv
More than a month agoIt is great to have like minded people sharing a space. At NBO NUDE BI ORGIES we have a mix couples, ladies, trans and single men, yes even straight single men, who can be very respectful and add to the electricity of the night. It is a somewhat balanced mix so there is something for everyone, but it is nice to include the energy of a single male to spice the night up. I think all the people like to blend in an be a part of a harmonious meet that offers play or voyeurism! You have to tick it off your bucket list!
ReplyRRhoni
More than a month agoPersonally, My first and only experience at a "sex party" was awesome !
ReplyIt was about 5 years ago and I was a very inexperienced (in this forum) rather naïve but totally thrilled to be introduced to this new scene ..
When I first walked into the "party" I was totally and evidently a 'newbie' , 2 champers and talking in the 'smoking' room to people that had been and were still enjoying this type of entertainment, I was immediately at ease (grown ups pyjama party comes to mind)
Well long story short, I immersed myself into what and all that was going on, so much so that my 'friend' was asked if he was sure I was a newbie lol ..
My first and only foray into this world was great and I would so recommend this avenue for others so long as you open your mind (opening ya legs was pretty good too lol) :)
countrytouch82
More than a month agoFirstly I do not have the physique for the party in the review above, however in my initial foray into the swinging scene I did go to most play parties in Melbourne that were open to me (ie all commercial ones regarding the high fee for single men). However I did manage to play at all but one of them, some were good as far as play, and a few were great with some wonderful and unexpected things happening. I also spent much time as I could talking to others about their experiences and generally learning. Of course all with a much lighter wallet.
ReplyIn contrast, I have almost never seen any dodgy behaviour, but obviously I would not be on the receiving end of it, or maybe I have chosen the ones that are less "clicky". I only have one recurring party I still prefer to attend, albeit held only 2-3 times a year. Aside from players parties, there have been some private invites as extra/s (men) for a couple.
All parties allowing single men are "players parties", therefor I have not yet been to a more social, relaxed, no pressure party as such, like they hold for couples and women (and as such I cannot make a review about them). Flying solo I can theoretically attend something with an actual couple that I know, but no such parties are suitable for that.
Leolady727
More than a month ago"What's it really like"? - well, NOTHING like the picture, for a start! My ex and I were in the lifestyle for many years and went to quite a few parties - we had the agreement that we both played or neither played at first, but this relaxed as time went by. I remember one party we went to a few times where there were always a number of single guys - turns out that the guys were paying $100 - $150 to attend whereas, as a couple, we were paying $25.00. Led to some nasty scenes, as the guys thought they were guaranteed sex for that price and were very pushy.
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ReplyDoit2meagain
More than a month agoI dont blame them...just because a guy is single why does he have to.pay more? He might as well spend the money on a call.girl and get his moneys worth
Account Closed
More than a month agoDoit2meagain - By paying to go to a party the guys delude themselves that they are not actually paying for sex (something almost every guy says he would never do, and yet professional ladies flourish, go figure!). One party I went to actually had a couple of women who were paid to be there.
AMM.Events
More than a month agoAnd also remember entrance to a party does not guarantee sex. And if the girls were paid then that's not a swingers party. We have brothels trying to list their "parties" on here and we reject them.
Account Closed
More than a month agoI suppose the whole idea of a sex party is that people have sex with who the chose not whoever turns up, and most of the time it's the ladies who get to chose, just like trying to pick up at a bar you got to put in some effort, the people running the parties that are making the money charging single guy
AugustusSeizer
More than a month ago"Reviews" of "sex parties" are odd, don't you think? How can my a dinner party work if I only invite brown-eyed people who are 160-165cm tall? There's almost no chance anyone will have shared interests.
ReplyIf sex party attendees only have "sex" and "being pleasant" in common most people must be unsatisfied. Good Sex is about much more than "pink bits". Only people with generic interests/needs in the sex department can really be happy at a "standard sex party". And how do you find the people with whom YOU'd have a great time? Maybe they came last week and didn't return.
It's easier in Europe. Very fast trains and many people place Berlin parties in the centre of 300+ million. In Australia, fewer people and absurd real estate costs make it difficult to have ANY successful tightly targeted events, especially sex parties - no public subsidies or rich benefactors, right?
Even tightly targeted BDSM, D/s, and kink events only survive financially by blending patrons to include varied kinksters, goths, swingers, and fancy-dress "tourists". Such diluted events limits players' satisfaction, others don't return.
The best sex parties, like good dinner parties, are private and never "reviewed".
whynothaveago5
More than a month agoBeen to a couple of good ones, but in my opinion it's all to do with how many people you know or who you've already arranged to meet there.
ReplyUnfortunately there are some couples who think swingers parties are quid pro quo, 'I'll fuck your husband if you fuck mine.' That's all good if everyone is up for it, but it's not always the case.
At one party a woman was coming onto my husband very strongly and led him away to play. I continued chatting casually to her partner and a few other people, having not found anyone I was really interested in. Her partner, who was the exact opposite of what I am attracted to, stuck his chubby, short fingers up my teddy and tried to finger me. When I stepped away, and asked him not to, he turned, walked into the room where she was blowing my hubby, whispered to her and they left. She literally stood up and walked out, without a word. I felt horrible for Mr Whynot, but neither of us will 'take one for the team' and feel there needs to be some attraction in order to play.
CentralWestCpl
More than a month agoWe have experienced organised parties and small private ones. We prefer the private ones because we can relax and be social with people we know. That said, I love watching my partner with other men and she is able to feel safe with me there as she acts out her fantasies.
ReplyLester518
More than a month agoMy experience of sex parties is a 1000 cocks chasing 5 holes.
ReplyFar too many guys all the time, just like online dating
MrDomMssub
More than a month agoWe were talked into going to a swinger's party on the promise of me having sex with the host and my partner having her pick of a number of men that were attending. After a 2 hour drive and a basic but nice bbq, then spa was turned on and a game of strip pool was begun. My partner has a rule about public nudity so we sat and talked to a very attractive woman who had the same rule. She was nice and personable, but clearly not interested in either of us. We moved to the spa where the host whisked me away to a room. We undressed and talked for a while when my partner came in to let me know that she had found a guy to be with. At this point the naked female host I was sharing a bed with, decided that the other man in the room was more sexually attractive than me and proceeded to send us off on a mission to set up a massage table in another room.
My partner caught up with her man again, meanwhile the host had done a runner and was off somewhere being a host. And that was it - that was the extent of my sexual activity. The other women made it very clear that I was not on their wish list. Couples and pairs went off to various rooms. My partner settled into a room with her man.... and that was it. I watched her for awhile, got dressed, went for a walk, listened to the car radio, went for another walk.... basically killing time until she was finished.
When she came from the room, she wondered why I was clothed... I packed up our esky and headed for the door as it was midnight and we had a 2 hour drive home. The host emerged with a tray of food - shocked that I was dressed and we were leaving...... derrrrr.... You promised sex.... took our money and then rejected me...... we were not made welcome..... we were not accepted by anyone else at the party.... don't see much point in staying.
We won't be attending sex parties ever again. My advice to men - unless you have a gorgeous 8" cock or a body that women die for or as handsome as a Hemsworth or a platinum personality - stay home. If you are an ordinary bloke with average looks and demeanor, you'll get ignored, treated like shit and left to wonder why you wasted all that money on a flimsy promise of something unattainable. If you are a woman - go have fun - you have the power.....
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoThere are thousands of single men on this sight who would so love the privilege to attend sex parties ,explore there sexuality and experience sexual adventures , but sadly for men this is a privilege that only women can enjoy ,women hold the the entire balance of power when it comes to sexually , men are completely frozen out of the sexual realm.Even the the author of this article whilst explaining her experiences and pleasures received at sex parties seemed to have zero empathy and not even realise that most the men reading it will never have the opportunity to experience and was writen only for women so they know what to experience if they choose to attend one .
Looklustlick
More than a month agoHaving had the threesome /foursome experience I have been interested in getting to a party but I fear life as a single man living as I do the opportunity will not arise before the desire wanes
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ReplyLexecutie
More than a month agoI think it's more for the people who haven't had a spontaneous 5way, doesn't even sound that good, just awkward.