How Do You Finger a Woman?
Eva Sless
on 15 June 2017
117 comments
It’s funny how some words can make people cringe. I’m not talking about specific slurs or derogatory comments etc, I mean just normal words that have a weird effect on some people.
Like, for example, the word moist. Personally I don’t mind it. It doesn’t create cringey ew-ness in my head like it does many of my friends, it just makes me think of cake… But it is definitely a word that people do not like. For me that word is “panties”. I hate it. It conjures up creepy images in my head that I won’t articulate here, but yeah. Gross. And another word that does similar to me is the word “fingering”.
Unlike “moist”, or “panties”, there isn’t really a substitute word to use (digitally pleasuring is just… no) and so in all my years of being a sexual person and a sex educator I have to suck it up, ignore the ickiness in my head, and use it.
And so, in saying that, this brings me to my latest piece, and something I get asked a lot, “how do you best finger a woman?”.
I think, perhaps, my ickiness towards the word has a bit to do with some of my first ever forays into the act. Horny teenage boys with poking, stabby little fingers that had no idea what they were doing, nor did they really care, and the subsequent non orgasms eventually lead to me giving up on teenage boys and doing it myself, and hoping one day maybe they’d learn…
Alas... It brings me great sadness to report, as someone who was a sex worker for quite a number of years, it really is a major disappointment to find that so many men, while they may have grown older and hairier since high school, are still very unaware of how to properly stimulate a woman’s genitals with their fingers. And this is a common complaint from all the women in my life, not just the sex workers.
So, for all you chicks in here who are nodding your heads and crossing your legs in memory of the last bad fingering they got (and yes, yes,, I know not all men. Go on, write in the comments about how amazing you are at digitally pleasuring your lady… I mean, it’s all about you after all) here are my top tips for guys on how to finger a girl properly and pleasurably.
1. Trim and clean
Sounds obvious doesn’t it? But the number of ragged fingernails and rough cuticles and dirty palms I’ve seen is just revolting. Seriously guys, wash your bloody hands! You don’t need to go all manicurist salon perfect, but for fuck’s sake, it’s not hard to make sure you don’t have jagged bits of skin or nail jutting out of you like sandpaper with spikes. Like how can you even think that’s okay? You’re about to go into some of the most delicate and sensitive areas of a body… With fucking grease under your nails and half a thumbnail hanging off? I don’t think so, buddy.
2. Warm Her Up First
Yes, boys, congratulations, you found the hole. All vaginas have one. But just roughly poking your finger up there like you’re trying to retrieve a Tic Tac from a hose is not only ineffective, it is uncomfortable and unpleasant, especially if you haven’t properly warmed her up first and got her excited and wet. Honestly, just prodding at the vag and expecting it to open up and get slippery is a waste of everyone’s time. Slow down. Take a breath. Read on…
3. The Vagina is more than a Hole
Labia, vulva, clitoris, vagina… Say it with me, boys. These are all the gorgeous and glorious bits that make up the genitals of a woman, and all of them have nerves and pleasurable bits and can be stimulated and played with and heightened to incredible climaxes for her. Each bit will respond to different stimulation, and has its own likes and dislikes. Just because she may enjoy her vulva being stroked, doesn’t necessarily mean her clitoris will respond the same way. Take your time to really explore and learn what it likes. Listen to her sounds, watch her movements. And, you know… You could always ask her!
4. The Art of Tease
Slowly stroking her thighs, the crease between them where thigh becomes genitals. Over the underwear, little sneaky taps and squeezes of the vulva… Everywhere but the hot spots… Kiss her neck if she likes that, her shoulders. Stroke your hand along the curves of her body… Whisper to her you can’t wait to feel how wet she’s getting… But not yet… Not just yet… Feel her hips rise off the bed to meet you, listen to her breathing, watch her face… These are all signs she is getting to the perfect stage to slip those fingers inside and around. Ask her “do you want it yet?” and if she says yes… Tease a little while longer. The anticipation of your touch can be far more arousing than touching her to get her horny, and far more rewarding in the long run.
5. Look, Listen, Learn
Communication, above everything else, is the one thing that makes sex great, and this is something all parties involved must do. Checking in on your partner to make sure they’re still enjoying themselves is important, as is telling your partner how much you’re enjoying it. This can be done in so many ways. Saying “yes” is a major one. Moving your body and making moans and noises is another. It’s always good to ask if you’re on the right track and it is also okay (hell it can be goddammed horny as fuck) to ask them to show you how to touch them.
Watching your partner touch themselves in exactly the way they like to be touched is the best lesson you can receive in “their body” and you can become an expert in no time!
6. Lube is your Friend
While yes, many women produce good, viscous lubrication when we’re aroused, not all of us do, and even those of us who are blessed with the wet can find during times of a lot of play that there’s just not enough to spread around everywhere so this is where lube can come in super handy (pardon the pun). You don’t need too much, but enough to cover the area and make it nice and slippery for your fingers to slide over. Pulling against the soft and delicate skin because it isn’t wet enough can be super uncomfortable and even painful for some women. Also just the act of making her a bit more slippery, and therefore the experience more pleasurable, can cause her to self lubricate even more. Just a basic water-based lube will do, or you could jazz it up and get ones that have stimulating ingredients added to them (ask in your local adult shop). These work with usually either a menthol or capsicum base to cool or warm the area, and some are herbal based that react with the blood vessels and allow more blood to flow to the area, making it more sensitive and aroused.
7. Don’t Stop!!
Okay, this here is the kicker. When she starts to breathe shallower, when her moans get louder, when she starts to move her hips… Do. Not. Stop. Don’t change it up. Don’t add an extra swirl. Don’t. Change. A. Thing. Seriously! This is the number one complaint I get from women all the time. That you hear her start to come so you change, or go faster, or decide to tease… This is NOT the time. Seriously!! Unless she specifically says “go faster!”or something to that effect just keep doing what you are doing. I cannot stress this enough! One of the worst things in this world is losing an orgasm you were so close to getting, and sometimes it can be almost impossible to bring it back. So unless the arrangement is edging (which is awesome and another great way to arouse her) DO. NOT. STOP!
So remember, boys (and ladies who like ladies), fingering can be so good and sexy and amazing, but it really needs to be done right or she’ll just give up and do it herself. Learn to listen and watch and be aware of her body and what makes her tick. Even on a one night stand or hook up situation it’s important to know what you’re doing and getting it right. In the long run you’ll have a very satisfied lady and a reputation for being a man with golden fingers… And what bloke doesn’t want that?
Comments (117)
shaunj89
More than a month agoThe art of pleasuring a women. Can only be taught by a women. My gf when i was 18 taught me and 10 years later its become more of an art, and awesome to see the surprise look in girls face. It seems most blokes cant feel the energy while while there down there. Gotta work with each other and be gentle. Until right till the end.
Next2017
More than a month agoOne style of 'fingering' which is very, very effective is the Yoni, sanscript for vagina, method. Rather than explain, it is easier to google Yoni massage instructions. Just practising this style will bring amazing results.
manjoy
More than a month agomaybe you should write an article on how a woman can properly give a handjob to a bloke instead of trying to pull his cock completely off, very off putting how many times a woman just yanks like crazy.
AMM.Editor
More than a month agoGreat suggestion. I've added it to our list of future topics.
Account Closed
More than a month agoClearly clueless :(
It's not that hard ;),
DeliciousEva
More than a month agoNot clueless.
A common complaint. Similar to fingering. There is an art, and some people aren't the most skilled at it.
Definitely on the list.
Thanks for the suggestion.
:)
Account Closed
More than a month agolooking forward to it DeliciousEva :)
prettypickycpl
More than a month agoMy favorite article so far! I think every man and woman should read this as a refresher.. a good laugh and a guide ;)
Leolady727
More than a month agoActually, Eva, in light of a recent experience some men's idea of proper fingering technique could be described as trying to shove a tic-tac UP a hose.
hamlet0073
More than a month agoto leo lady I apologise on behalf of the rest to ofus men who care not only for our needs but for your as well
I hope the slow sensually stroking you recve before your next session is more in line with what you deserve and also expect
thanks
Account Closed
More than a month agoThanks, Hamlet - actually, I've found many more guys who are good than are bad. Unfortunately, the bad ones stick on the memory!
northofthewall
More than a month agoTwo tilers were up on a roof when one accidentally hit his finger with the hammer and cried out.
His friend called out "Did you hit your fucking finger, mate?"
"No, thank God," he replied, "it was the one next to it."
Account Closed
More than a month agohahaha, cheers for the Monday morning laugh buddy! ;)
Account Closed
More than a month agoHahaha - good one :-)
Xx.ChloeMinx.xX
More than a month agoamen!
truth truth truth!!!
such a good article!
Taureanminx
More than a month agoLoved this article.....so very true on so many levels. I have really only met one man who had magic fingers......gave me more orgasms than any man ever has....
Account Closed
More than a month agoHope you married Him then! lol
Account Closed
More than a month agoHaha.....I wanted to date him but I was too old for him...mind you he was only 5 yrs younger but he hadnt had kids and wanted them ....sigh....I havent thought about him in a long time
MadameR
More than a month agoA great post Eva. I coach men about how to pleasure a women and give at least 9 different types of vaginal orgasms. Guys learn to give pleasure with their hands. Definately a lost art.
MiguelCDLOGAN
More than a month agoI was fortunate enough to have had a 28 year old lady begin my education when I was in my late teens... She put me through a two year course on how to pleasure a woman and on how to leave the watch face down on the dresser so that I forgot time. Then she went and got married... Bitch! :)
Seriously though, as much as she broke my heart she did leave me with a gift few men, I am sure, have been lucky to have received. She prevented me from making awkward and clumsy mistakes I might have continued to make for years if not decades.
It is a gift that keeps on giving because the rewards for me, if I can be a little selfish here, is the absolutely beautiful sight of a woman coming in multiples to the point of watching her tremble uncontrollably after having my hands give her pleasure she might not often have got that way.
Seriously guys, a woman coming that way is one of the wonders of this world. Do work on your techniques. The rewards are immeasurable.
Warning:
After you're done and congratulating yourself about how good a job you've done, be ready to be just about eaten up by the passion emanating from the tiger laying next to you and that you have just awakened. Hope you have built up your carbs... :)
meoooow2
More than a month ago………….. mmmmm
Account Closed
More than a month agoYay Miguel, was fortunate to have the same experience, I was 16 and she a divorced 28 y o had fun for three years and like you put me in good steed for the rest of my life. Love pleasuring the ladies
Stevef111
More than a month agoSensual, passionate foreplay. Touching, kissing, licking, stroking, massaging, undressing each other, talking dirty,building sexual tension, all before you even think about slipping your hand inside her underwear!
Tenderhands007
More than a month agoI could finger and lick all day/night.
Watching a women climax is a sign of a good job done.
Watching them Squirt is an even bigger thrill, especially when it's their first time experiencing the sensation.
xFunlovingx
More than a month agoI love #2. It actually made me laugh with memories. Not good memories. The amount of guys that don't know how to give a good finger fuck is amazing! I am one of those women who can gush when turned on...even without touching....that doesn't mean you try to get a hole in one!! Trust me, without warming me up first....there is no prize for you!!
Leolady727
More than a month agoWhile "fingering" might sound a bit eeeeeuuuww, finger-fucking (which is what we called it back in the day) can be wonderful - had my very first orgasm being finger-fucked in the back seat of a car (and still get horny in the back seat).
countrylad2697
More than a month agoDoesn't have to be just the back seat, even when you are driving can be fun
newtotheact4
More than a month agoSounds like the guy you were with knew what he was doing but from the sounds of other women us men just can't do it lol
Account Closed
More than a month agoCountryLad - I don't even use my handsfree phone when I'm driving, let alone any other distraction.
Account Closed
More than a month agoNewtotheact - actually, many guys are good at it (to a greater or lesser degree) and many are happy to accept a bit of guidance. I, unfortunately, had a horrible experience with someone who was extremely rough, making the foreplay very painful. He would not tone it down, even when I asked him too. Oh, and he didn't "go downtown", so a total waste of time.
Perhaps when you are no longer new to the act and get a bit of experience you will find this out.
countrylad2697
More than a month agoWell lucky i can multitask Leolady and unlike mobile phones you don't have to look it's all done by feel !!!!
Account Closed
More than a month agoThat explains why country drivers are so bad! The person who taught me to drive told me to always remember that I was in control of a lethal weapon and to give it the concentration it deserved.
mrmeaner39
More than a month agowell guys, apparently we're absolutely useless at this...
Account Closed
More than a month agoOh dear, have the nasty "feminazis" upset you?
Island2island
More than a month agoDo columns targeting women and handjobs get written so condescendingly? Nope. How about the author goes and finger fucks herself :)
DeliciousEva
More than a month agoOh I do... Often... Cos so many blokes are so shit at it... Or did you not read the piece? :)
Account Closed
More than a month agoactually... i would have to say... yep... in general... pretty useless... a few guys know how to caress to bring you to climax... the rest might as well be sticking fingers up their noses
and i would have to agree with DeliciousEva... doing it yourself works quite well ;-)
Account Closed
More than a month agoGuessing Island2island has just earned himself a place on many women's "NEVER to be fucked" list
Account Closed
More than a month agoMaybe there should be an article about hand jobs and blow jobs as I've been with have complained that they have experienced pretty shitty ones in the past. Not all men suck at this but a majority do unfortunately :(
AMM.Editor
More than a month ago@Melody2973 Your other comment is directly underneath where we've said we will be doing one.
Heretoplease7
More than a month agoWell this is a mans point of view. Well it is this man's actions. How beautiful it is to caress lightly touch that part of a woman that all men lust after. Tease my lady by spending a lot of time slowly running my fingers up and down on her lips, oh so softly a touch. Having my lady give me back the best thing in the world a beautiful smile to warm my heart. Then to place a few drops of oil, watch as it runs down her and to see my lady move her pelvis in enjoyment, shortness of breath and a smile.
Then with my fingers very very lightly massage that beautiful part of her body, on the outside with my fingers touching her lips. Watching those pelvic moves and her breathing Then gently slide my fingers inside those lovely lips and on the first pass just ensuring a nice touch of her clit. My ladies body jumps in excitement/joy/anticipation Sliding two fingers up and down ever so slowly softly with the smooth feeling of sensual oil caressing her.
Running my fingers around the entrance to the channel of ultimate joy, as my lady is wanting my fingers to enter. I think a little more teasing is needed Watching for signs my lady is not over frustrated. Then without notice I slide my smooth oiled fingers into her. The pelvic moves the groans tell me it was good for us both.
Now gently find that G spot and caress it. Feeling her joy as she swells to wrap around my fingers. Groans and breathing coming from my lady are fantastic. How long should I do this, as I don't want my lady to be exhausted as I want her to have more in this session. Time is right I remove my fingers slowly, lie next to my lady as she floats along in that wonderful place as I soak up the joy of the moment with her
Account Closed
More than a month agoDo you write for Mills & Boon?
Account Closed
More than a month agoThanks for the giggle aWinterslust - sounds like one of those paperbacks with Fabio on the cover. Seriously, does Heretoplease have tickets on himself, or what? :-)
Account Closed
More than a month agoThe channel of ultimate joy? Have you just done a trashy novel writing course?
magsluvsit
More than a month agoomg I still cant believe how useless alot of men are are at doing this....
If I find one that has magical fingers I do like to see him alot more.
Account Closed
More than a month agoThank you to all the guys/girls that are hopeless at this,
It makes me REALLY stand out, & I don't think it's anything special to have the skills to digitally satisfy a woman, read her body.
Just like I'd expect her to be able to satisfy me with her hands, I just expect it, no one here is 16 anymore!!!
Intimit1
More than a month agoEdging, smedging! If you're close & the bastard stops physical violence is definitely an option!
allinmymind
More than a month agoI think some people have the wrong idea on what edging is. I think when with someone else, forget it like you say.
LimitPusher
More than a month agoFrom some of the comments on here, it sounds as though a lot of you women are sleeping with the wrong men! :-/
Account Closed
More than a month agoNo doubt :(
Account Closed
More than a month agoHere's a tip....if a man can't kiss making you weak at the knees, he's certainly not going to be co-ordinated enough to have you gushing with his fingers!
Account Closed
More than a month agoI know that but thank you ;),
Sooooo many bad kissers out there :(
nudeinterlude
More than a month agoNumber 7 - so true. It is awful to lose that orgasm when a partner ignores being asked "don't change a thing"!
It's not the time for him to show off all his moves!
Account Closed
More than a month agoCouldn't agree more, than it's gone :(
countrylad2697
More than a month agoYou shouldn't have to ask .... he should know and be able to feel and tell when you are reaching your orgasm . Why change what has got you to that point?
Account Closed
More than a month agoClueless I guess :))
oldman42
More than a month agoJust call it 'massage'.
gutentagguys
More than a month agoThis should be compulsory reading for men when they join AMM .... a really good fingering is a magical thing ...... amazing . I love it soo soo much .
2plus1lotafun
More than a month agoI couldn't agree more... what direct advice, it really is plain n simple, not that hard if you aren't so selfish.
newtotheact4
More than a month agoFrom comments sounds guys don't listen and worry about them selves. Find this crazy dont know how guys are like that love pleasing a women and more than once.
ShyMinx79
More than a month agoOMG! Yes! This!
gary55today
More than a month agoWhat a privaledge, to be allowed inside of someone elses body. We can't betray that trust. But whilst it is a very delicate fold of mucus membrane, damn I can't believe how tough it is when rigorus manipulation is required.
Account Closed
More than a month agoSome might be and some women love pain no doubt but I've found most men are just plain clueless about how to do it PERIOD, they are just hoping they've got it right :(
allinmymind
More than a month agohaha like fisting? For sure. Long nails still are an issue though :)
Adventurousa
More than a month agoAll men, please read and put this into action!!
GeeMan0105
More than a month agoMaybe some men doing already .... ;)
Commitment ....
Sight, Sound and Continued learning about the woman at your finger tips ( pardon the pun ).
Make her wait, Make her want it .... Her Anticipation will heighten intensity ... it's not a race ( unless that moment of a quick one, where she just wants to be taken and used .... )
Simple, Mentally ... what would I want, if i were her ... then apply...
My 2cw ... First time contributing so be kind ...
Thanks
Ah... giggle is good Melody .. Better than a "what ever" ;)
Account Closed
More than a month agoThis made me giggle :))))
friskypuz
More than a month agoGood read,
Sometimes soft is good, sometimes hard and firm is good, and sometimes slip the fist in...
But never just rub the crap out of it and hope for the best..
Not to forget those who think a fingering includes slipping another finger in the arse so it's like a bloody bowling alley !!! Time and place....
Once met a bloke, slid the fingers in and that was it,,I was like..wtf
allinmymind
More than a month agoFeels yum.
Account Closed
More than a month agoThen again, a finger inserted gently in the ass can be very erotic - if that's what one is into.
wildchildx2
More than a month agoYep that all works and guys do be washed and girls please please before play have a shower i have expierienced people who play tonight dont shower in the morning and play again it makes you dry reach but you have committed theres not a nice way out
Account Closed
More than a month agoWorks for men to also shower and be clean,, no sweaty balls for me please, unless I am the reason they are sweaty,,lol
nqsensualgent
More than a month agoYes wildchild, I totally agree! How some people expect the world but do not wash is beyond me.
Stevef111
More than a month agoCouldn't agree more, if you don't like to lay down with a dirty body, don't offer a dirty body to anyone else. It's important when exploring with someone that you can be confident of going anywhere with no nasty surprises.
butterflykiss50
More than a month agoFingering...done correctly...is truly mind blowing...my favourite activity between the sheets...but, alas, I find it hard to instruct and luv it when I find a guy that knows what to do...mmmm..x...Thanks for your story Eve
Monandra
More than a month agoI love your articles!!!! Every man can understand it! I hope a lot of them read this.
3isfun2
More than a month agoHaving to teach common sense just shows how uncommon it really is. Loved the 'TicTac from a hose' analogy.
HornyCurves
More than a month agoOh. My. God. Can you please print a millions copies of this article and drop them from a helicopter aaaaalllllll over this city!?!? I only need two fingers (pun intended) to count how many men have ever known this. Most guys learn from porn, which is not real! Fast, hard, vigorous rubbing hurts! At least at first, and no, hello to slamming me to "make me squirt" is not ok either - and don't get me started on the "flicky tongue" ugh!
Account Closed
More than a month agoHaha ... wanna go halves in the letterdrop?
baadkat
More than a month agomoney well spent, count me in!
Account Closed
More than a month agoMe Three ;)
Meetoconnect
More than a month agoNumber 4, thats the way that I like to operate, ..slow, purpose, passion hot , heavy lust.. with lashingss of filthy chatter... as I work the body.. and the mind!!!
Lokilokiloki
More than a month agoA great article. Shame they don't teach this in sex Ed at schools
Wildanddiscreet
More than a month agoThank you Eva .... you have confirmed i am no sex nymph, .. i can concur with all you say, re fingering. I was married for many years, my sex was at the time was what i knew sex to be, as i hadn't had many partners prior to marriage.
I met my current man whom i have been with for four years, and wow you are so right, a ladies vag is so finely structured and tuned, its like hit the right cord and wallop. My man taught me how to relax my mind, body and soul by relaxing me prior to making love. I can confirm and please believe me as proof of your article, i not only gush, but also squirt during foreplay now to the point we now have to pre pack our bed with towels, pre sex, as opposed to laying there and being told to put it in, because guys can be not only selfish but also lazy that they cany move their hands to put it in for themselves so guy please take the time to explore your ladies inner feelings, you will also share in the rewards of knowing you have made your lady feel special. Cheers ... wild x
Freeranger1701
More than a month agoGreat article thanks for sharing
vicariousm38
More than a month agoits all about communication - should never be afraid to ask ow it feels or to communicate that you're missing it
MassageMan45
More than a month agoPoint 7 goes for men too ..
jambon007
More than a month agoIf you can't go with the flow then don't
SirMature
More than a month agoYes some very good points on the "how too" and "what nots" on fingering a lady. My experience when massaging and fingering is always take it real slow and caress the body first with gentleness and avoid direct contact with the vagina and clitoris.
Warm the body initially until the lady is completely feeling relaxed and wanting, for me the initial denial is the key. When I finally decide time is ripe to move to the pussy delightfully I feel complete wetness and know there is no stoppping. My attention is now focused with my fingers on this beautiful hot wet pussy and pulsating clitoris fingering and playing until she starts quivering and explodes with a mind blowing orgasm on my table. Then stage is set and proceed with oral, toys and more....
I simply love pleasuring ladies like this!
Pete
Account Closed
More than a month agoYou are spot on with what you said. I find slow and sensual the best. No wham, bam, thank you mam for me.
Mischeviouslad
More than a month agoNice ad lol
nudge1955
More than a month agoI just took notice of what my lover liked and stuck to that, always worked a treat and led to some fantastic intercourse as well.
Mstr.Full
More than a month agoA very wise man once said "fingers are for burning" (Marco Pierre-White), but as you quite rightly say... we were given tools of various kinds to deliver pleasure. "Fingering" is no different than any other form of... um... exploration... look into the eyes of your partner, listen to her sounds and feel her movement... lose yourself in her emotions and sensations... you will be rewarded.
Can I also add... that while gentle is wonderful... there are times... and there are moments and people who like hard, fast, abrupt and even bruising... ;)
Bare78
More than a month agoHow do you finger a woman?
With your fingers.
mee1968
More than a month agoif you worship a woman and her amazing bits correctly, she will enjoy almost anything you do, its like say making a great chocolate cake, if you love chocolate cake then you will make a great chocolate cake and eventually enjoy eating that same cake,,, ie worship and adoration create more enjoyment for the lady and thus more amazing juices to consume and amazing scents to get intoxicated on , the female body is beyond amazing and beyond delicious , not just the breasts , pussy and arse, the whole of her is amazing, i adore all places a womans scent exudes from , i go insane for a tummy , inner thigh, nape of neck, top of rear , armpits , her pussy mound also , i also love to rub my whole face into the right womans pussy and rear ,,,,,, just simply worship her and adore your lady,
you will reap the rewards ;o)
chesswiseagain
More than a month agoYou mentioned lube Eva. I think that is a poor way to lubricate a vagina as some have bad side effects as I know. Almond oil is the very best. No side effects and does a great job.. ;-)
AMM.Editor
More than a month agoBoth coconut oil and almond oil are options for women who can't use a silicone lube or want to try an alternative to a water based lube. Hey you can even buy vegan lube. There are plenty of options available.
DeliciousEva
More than a month agoLube is a very general word.
Lube can be water based, silicone based, oil based, and blends of all. If, however, latex condoms might be used at any stage in the activities then anything oil based would be terrible to use... But... You "know" that right?
Cheers for "explaining" lubrication and women's bodies to me!
Account Closed
More than a month agoThere's always a "mansplainer", Eva :-)
Account Closed
More than a month agochesswiseagain - I happen to be very allergic to almond oil! But then, you would know better than I.
blowjobbi
More than a month agoIt's commonsense really. Listen to your partner and take the queues from her. Slowly slowly working up to a crescendo.
Mind you the same goes for women touching a man. Many a time i have met a woman who just wants to wank the head off the old fella...
Slowly to start and lube is also our friend.
Melody2973
More than a month agoIt appears the men I've met lately have been clueless about this :( hardcore and ' ramming ' isn't my thing and never would be. In fact I think it's been bruised:( not pleasant at all.
Account Closed
More than a month agoOuchies - know that feeling, unfortunately :-(
Account Closed
More than a month agoYep yep yep
Account Closed
More than a month agoI'm like it's not brain surgery is it :(
If it even starts out bad now I'm outta there quick smart :)
Leolady727
More than a month agoSo many guys just have NO idea - rough and too hard. Having said that, there are some women who do this too - which surprises me.
One more thing you might have added (I know it seems obvious, but not always so) - if the lady says you're being too rough, take it back a notch, FFS!
DeliciousEva
More than a month agoAbsolutely!!
Listen listen listen!!!!
Account Closed
More than a month agoThe thing is, women are all different. You can not give blanket advice on how to do things to women. They aren't cut out on a cookie cutter. I have one fuck buddy that requires a lot of pressure on her clit for example. And another on where if I used that much pressure she would be jumping though the roof...and not because it felt nice. She likes fast, very soft flicking. Being with each of these women is like being with a totally different creature. And I've found this all of my life. I laugh my arse off when I hear line like, "knows how to please a woman" because it shows they seem to think that all women respond the same way they do. The trick is to try different things and work out how she likes it......or just ask straight out......tell her to give you verbal feedback. This is sometimes required with women who have a difficult time reaching orgasm.
Zamboon
More than a month agoI love reading your comments Leolady ... so insightful. Ive had 2 main women in my life one hated being fingered and the other loved it and I used the same method with both - even the same finger lol .... just shows that people are so different. But there sure are Neanderthals out there who have no clue at all... pity - there should be some training for them - I'm sure DV has a lot to do with the miscommunication...
Account Closed
More than a month agoRomanticDeviate (now THERE'S an oxymoron) - I think that a man who says he knows how to please a woman is saying that he can read a woman and respond to her particular desires. Unfortunately, few men are good at this - I have been lucky enough to encounter one such (on this site) and he's a treasure.
Cheeky2468
More than a month agoVery good. Laughing lol on the train. :)
DeliciousEva
More than a month agoHaha thanks.
I'll admit I giggled a bit writing it.
:)
Account Closed
More than a month agoWhy would you laugh or giggle about a very important liking for a woman... Maybe not you but others love it... !
DeliciousEva
More than a month agoOh, honey...
We're laughing at the ineptitude of men... Not the issues women might have.
chesswiseagain
More than a month agoVery well put. At my age I have learnt the art of fingering and I have found that a few women like it better than a cock in them...Ask if you are on the right spot or get the lady to put your finger where it pleases her mostly. Much more to say but it would be boring I guess.
Account Closed
More than a month agoAnd, BINGO - what Eve said in her introduction!
allinmymind
More than a month agoOh the whole of course it is.