7 Things Gay Guys are Sick of Hearing

Eva Sless Eva Sless on 27 January 2017    20 comments
Close up of two gay men holding hands

It goes without saying that, as a society on the whole, especially here in Australia, we've moved on from a lot of the super offensive ideas about gay men. You know, like they're evil paedophiles just itching to steal your kids, or that they can be (and indeed need to be) “cured” from their gayness, but there are still things that are said in every day conversations and comments that can be offensive and hurtful to them, and the entire LGBTQI community.

So, which one of you is the girl?

This is a dumb question. It's just... Dumb. I mean, in the most basic of reasoning it's dumb because the whole thing about gay is that NO-ONE is the girl (duh), but it's also playing into the stupid idea that heterosexual is the only “normal” and that anything that deviates from that is weird and wrong, and that in order for a relationship to work it must be male/female and not two people who love each other. It's like asking which chopstick is the fork. Dumb and irrelevant and makes you sound like a douche.

Gays want “special rights” and it's not fair!

Um. No. Just no. Equal rights, you know, like basic safety and the right to live and work and shop and marry where and whom you desire are not SPECIAL rights. They are just rights. It's the rights every single other person is afforded if their genitals are the opposite to that of their partners. There is nothing “special” about wanting to be safe and protected by the law. 

How do you know you're gay if you've never even been with a woman?

Oh ffs. This question is so common and absolutely blows my mind when I've heard people say it. I mean, how do you know you're NOT gay if you've never fucked a bloke? Oh... Cos you just know? Cos you were born that way? Oh. Right. Thanks for clearing that up, Einstein.

You must be scared of getting AIDS

STIs should scare everyone. They are rampant in our society because of terrible sex education and the shame that is put on sexual people who are then afraid to go get help or tested. Yes, AIDS is a big thing... But if you honestly think gay men are unaware of the risks, and that the gay community have not spent the better part of 30 years educating and creating awareness within the community (because the schools and governments really don't give a fuck mostly) then you've probably been under a rock. 

Be Afraid Of The GAY AGENDA!!

Yeah, the “gay agenda”. This odd scary phrase invented by homophobic politicians to scare the world into thinking gay people are coming in mass hoards to overthrow the status quo and force everyone into bum sex and sequins... Yeah, no. The “Gay Agenda” is pretty simple actually: Get equal rights. Live life like everyone else. Boom. That's it. 

It's Against God's Plan

This one, for your run-of-the-mill atheist is pretty funny. Kind of like a hippy telling you they're gonna punch you in your aura... Okay... But on the side of logic (yes... I know... bear with me here) if, in fact, God is real. And the Bible is real. And the Bible tells us that God makes no mistakes... Then either it absolutely cannot be against God's plan because he made them and they exist... Or your God made a mistake and therefore how do we know that there aren't other mistakes in your religion like, say, all the other hatred you preach in his name, and perhaps you need a re-education in Bible studies...

I'm Cool With Gay People, As Long As They Don't Try And Hit On Me

Yeah, calm down, Casanova... What makes you think you're so special that a gay man would even be interested in you? Firstly your attitude is disrespectful so you lose points there, and secondly, the fact that you're so shitty and disrespectful probably means you'd announce at the drop of a hat “Hey I'm straight!” which is usually a pretty good sign for gay guys you're not into it. The thing is, it actually shows you're NOT cool with gay people. You're afraid of them. Which is what homophobia is. Get over it. 

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Comments (20)

  • BiMelbNaturist

    BiMelbNaturist
    Account closed

    I have friends and i'm sure there is a mixture of straight, gay and bi. I don't ask as i dont care, they are my friends and will always be my friends.
    >4w
    Reply
  • fapulous

    fapulous
    55M Sans Souci, NSW,
     AU

    What a great article. As a gay guy I've had all of the above (regrettably)
    In order of the statements
    So, which one of you is the girl? - Neither were both blokes, there aint nothin femme about f@#ckin a bloke I can assure ya
    Gays want “special rights” and it's not fair! - "Special Rights" hmmm the ATO doesn't give me special rights I pay taxes just the same as everyone else so why are the rights others have as a matter everyday entitlement not extended to me?
    How do you know you're gay if you've never even been with a woman?
    I've been with women and I love woman just not sexually anymore, I just wasnt strong enuf to be who I needed to be, in case you missed it the 90s where not a good time to come out people
    You must be scared of getting AIDS - Statistically 62% of HIV cases are with Hetro couples, wish people would research there facts before continuing to perpetuate HIV as a solely gay issue
    Be Afraid Of The GAY AGENDA!! What agenda, I get up go to work abide by the law (well mostly anyhow) go home cook my dinner watch tv have sex go to sleep - Rinse and Repeat!
    It's Against God's Plan - Seriously ask yourself is there really a god? and if there is can someone show me the blueprint of his master plan, cause its been eluding better than me for thousands of years
    I'm Cool With Gay People, As Long As They Don't Try And Hit On Me -
    HAHAHA - does every woman hit on you? I think not!,like everyone its physical sometimes its intellectual but then again it could be just raw sexual libido, I am always fascinated by who and what I end up in the sack with having said that Id a have a thing for tall guys, and no Ive never asked a str8 guy if I can suck his dick - (they usuallly offer lol) :P
    >4w
    • Leolady727

      Leolady727
      Account closed

      Funnily enough, back when I identified as straight, none of my gay friends asked me how I knew I was straight. How do straight people think that is acceptable to ask a gay person? It's like asking them how they knew they had blue or brown eyes!
      >4w
    Reply
  • akaOzmale62

    akaOzmale62
    62M Melbourne, VIC,
     AU

    As far as I am concerned, Gay or not, people are human beings and need & deserve the respect that we all can give if we want to.
    We should be promoting tolerance, acceptance & yet I still see people who seem to think its a fad that someone is going through.
    Personally I am not gay, but I have some great friends who are. And together we are better by accepting our differences.
    >4w
    • djpete321

      djpete321
      63M Werribee, VIC,
       AU

      Well said akaOzmale62.. I'm not gay myself but can't see how sexual orientation has anything to do with what sort of person a bloke or lady. I can't stand people who think badly of anyone just because of their sexual orientation!
      >4w
    Reply
  • dubbodoll

    dubbodoll
    Account closed

    Interesting. I would've thought the need to address such questions would be from 30 years ago, not current thinking but I suppose it still exists. People are people. We are all different but with the same needs for acceptance of who we are without a label. It possibly helps some segments in the community to label others rather accept individual lifestyle choices. Whether that be transgender, cross dressing, gay or dom/sub.
    >4w
    Reply
  • TheMichaels

    TheMichaels
    76M 65F Nambour, QLD,
     AU

    love it, well written. I have just started experiencing bi activity, love it. Let people fall in love who cares if it is MM or FF. Whose business is it?. All the armchair critics asking such stupid questions and making assumptions . Love it when heathens who wouldn't drive past a church or go in to one start quoting the bible about marriage. To all Gay couples / singles best wishes to all of you , have a wonderful life.
    >4w
    • allinmymind

      allinmymind
      61F Wodonga, VIC,
       AU

      They are following an American trend and think it applies to Australia without checking the history. An Australian lady brought out a gay trans bi study bible from a university in Australia to counter negativity and suggest what some say is in the bible isn't. She is a Greek translator from the original. Dr. A Nyland.
      >4w
    Reply
  • the.bizness

    the.bizness
    Account closed

    Great Read! So true...I've gone both ways, and you do know what you like!
    >4w
    Reply
  • Kandypantz

    Kandypantz
    51F NSW,
     AU

    Love it xxx it's never crossed my mind to ask any of these questions to any one ! You are who you are .
    >4w
    • Catdog181

      Catdog181
      Account closed

      I generally shy away from offering my opinion in a public forum, it is such a can of worms.
      So here goes :) Some of the points in the article surprise me as a male in his fifties that these attitudes still persist. I would like to offer my support and apologies to the gay guys out there who suffer these slings and arrows.
      And of course the whole rainbow community
      More power to you all for being able to express yourself in the face of bigotry and unfounded critisism that still persists in our community
      >4w
    Reply
  • Mr.Discreet71

    Mr.Discreet71
    Account closed

    I've often been asked "When did you know you were gay?". I usually respond with "About the same time you knew you were straight!". I find it a bit funny, but some people (mainly men) don't seem to grasp the concept!
    >4w
    • dubbodoll

      dubbodoll
      Account closed

      Why do people need to ask? You don't wake up one morning and make a decision, its just who you are and who you're attracted too
      >4w
    Reply
  • naughtyturtle

    naughtyturtle
    50M Moonee Ponds, VIC,
     AU

    If a gay hit on me...i would consider it a compliment, just like if a woman hits on me....just to know i am good looking enough to be hit apon is a compliment ?
    >4w
    • Iwontremember

      Iwontremember
      Account closed

      Hmmm it's not fun after a while, I've experienced it quite a lot. There's a huge difference between a woman and a gay man hitting on you. Being a straight guy, and speaking from my experience - gay guys don't flirt, like women - they just jump straight into "I'd love to suck your cock etc. Even on this site, my profile says "women" but my inbox if full of "let me suck you off" from gay guys. If only they were women! Ha ha :)
      >4w
    Reply
  • funandliberated

    funandliberated
    Account closed

    My son is gay and he has just found a partner, he was married and has children. He is an increadable dad and a wonderful human being. We all love him but it's such a shame that, he cannot marry in this country, cannot donate blood has to explain himself and still put up with small minded people.
    Lets all hope that we get smart enough to realise a good person is a good person no matter what there sexual tendency, be it gay, swinging or heterosexual. It's really all black and white opps there goes another biggie. One planet lets all love each other.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Queen1963

    Queen1963
    61F Nerang, QLD,
     AU

    Best article about gay guys i've ever read. fabulous. thank you. Just hope the homophobes get to read it.
    >4w
    Reply
  • allinmymind

    allinmymind
    61F Wodonga, VIC,
     AU

    This is the best amm article I have read for awhile, just went a bit wobbly swearing about schools. So props for the first half.
    >4w
    Reply
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