Swinging: Good, Bad and Utterly Fabulous

Chantelle Austin Chantelle Austin on 19 May 2015    10 comments
Swinger couple in bed in an erotic pose

Introducing swinging to the relationship can have various effects, some good, some not so good and some that are unexpectedly awesome.

We’ve seen some and experienced others, and while every relationship is different, there are a few outcomes that tend to be experienced more than the others.

The Good

More sex, more desire for sex and more fun having sex with new people. It really does super charge your sex life and how can it not when you’re talking about the things you want to do when you have an extra in the bedroom, you’re reminiscing about the night before or chatting to new sexy people who are stimulating your imagination.

Another good thing is that your bedroom repertoire is likely to be expanded as you play with new people. Someone will do something slightly different than your partner does and when you share what it was and how hot it got you; they will incorporate that in your sex life making the whole swinging thing just one big R & D (Research and Development) adventure! It’s a great way to becoming a better lover.

The Bad

If there are any cracks or small issues in your relationship then once you start swinging, they will be magnified. For instance, if there are small insecurity or jealousy issues then once you add a third (and/or fourth) person to the mix, they will become very big, very quick and can do more damage than good.

Any other areas of your relationship where you haven’t got the right foundations or skills, you will find a challenge once you start. Communication is a particularly good example, if you can’t talk and share your thoughts before swinging, you won’t talk or share them when you start and it’s a very vulnerable period in your relationship. So it’s extra important that you have an effective communication strategy between you.

The good news is that if you find issues or skills you need to work on first, you can take a break, go work on your relationship and then come back. There will always be plenty of sexy people ready and waiting to meet and play with you when you get back. And besides, when you have no issues, you’re so much more fun to play with!

The Utterly Fabulous!

Having new friends you could both hang out with and also have sex with; people who were like minded, who you can flirt with and not have to worry about someone getting upset. It’s great having people who don’t judge you and are just as naughty as you are.

While the extra sex and desire to have sex was a great plus, during the whole transition when we were talking about new feelings, sharing our new desires, discussing the new shared experiences we had, what we liked, what we didn’t and how we felt about it all; brought us so much closer together and made our bond stronger than we ever thought possible.

We already thought we had the best relationship in the world, so when it enhanced it 10 fold we were stunned to say the least. It made us question why the hell other couples weren’t looking at this as an option!

We’ve met couples who have experienced all or some of these, and those that really have their relationship on the right track have also experienced the utterly fabulous.

Being a life coach and having created such a phenomenal relationship, I’ve noticed what works and what doesn’t which is what prompted the book "The Essential Guide for Adventurous Couples". I wanted other couples to go through the transition to number 3 as easily as we did and avoid the pitfalls that some couples had fallen into.

So there you have it, some of the good, the bad and the utterly fabulous. We’ve enjoyed the trip and so have many other couples… Shall we see you out and about in the swinging scene?

So have your swinging experiences, past or present, been good, bad or utterly fabulous? We'd love you to share your insights in the comments section.

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Comments (10)

  • serg685

    serg685
    Account closed

    Ok the first point is a fantasy and obviously is great if u can make it work.
    The second point is basically what will happen as is very hard to make a fantasy come true and live with it for the rest of your marry life.
    And the third point is what will never happen.
    So if u want to go swinging with your wife balance everything before u go ahead is a huge difference between a fantasy and the real thing....enjoy it whatever is your decision
    >4w
    Reply
  • Leolady727

    Leolady727
    Account closed

    As someone who was into the "scene" for many years (with my ex) - I think swinging is GREAT. Ok, it's not for everyone, and most definitely not for people who might have issues with trust. In about 15 years we met a lot of people, some good, some bad, some totally deluded and had a lot of fun and good sex. I think it enhanced our sex life, as we could go home, talk about it and get horny all over again.
    >4w
    Reply
  • 50shadesoffun66

    50shadesoffun66
    Account closed

    Swinging is so much fun
    >4w
    Reply
  • Funtimecpll

    Funtimecpll
    52M 50F Camden, NSW,
     AU

    We sit in the number 3 category, this has been a fantastic addition to an already fantastic marriage, 10 years of pure fun plain and simple. We have had some good and bad experiences over the years, most of the bad have been with couples trying to use swinging to fix something that is broken rather than to enhance a positive relationship.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Baisage

    Baisage
    50M 46F Melbourne, VIC,
     AU

    We have been swinging for about 8 years and both of us enjoy those first kisses, touches and intimate moments that you can't get from your partner. It's a lot of fun watching the person you love enjoying themselves with another person and this always heightens our sexual play.
    Communication is a must. As is trust. And jealousy can be left at the door.
    >4w
    Reply
  • ronandbev

    ronandbev
    79M 82F Blacktown, NSW,
     AU

    I had always wanted to try swinging so after talking about it with my husband we decided to try it now we have been having the best sex ever and we have meet some very nice people I enjoy sex very much and am still having trouble finding a regular sex friend besides we are having a great time even at our age it keeps us looking and feeling young.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Wearefree

    Wearefree
    67M 61F Hervey Bay, QLD,
     AU

    My wife and I have numerous sexual interludes from the threesomes, couple swinging and parties like Saints and Sinners. The threesome have at time let my wife down as she felt the third male somewhat inadequate or purely selfish. Couples swapping have had a mixed consensus. Again , there are the selfish ones, the pushy/demanding ones and the best by far, the go with the flow couples, who know what they want, but aren't in a hurry to get there. The Swinging Parties are by far the best if you just interested in getting off numerous times. The rules are simple, "no" means "no". The most amazing part of swinging, isn't the actual swinging itself, but the coming home, talking about what had just occurred, how we felt about it and then climbing into bed and having our very own and amazing sexual romp.
    To those who have not ventured into the swinging scene, this article is on the mark. Talk with your partner. Set out a series of do's and don'ts, communicate about what you experienced and love the personal action you will have with your partner when you alone.
    swingingcple
    >4w
    • allinmymind

      allinmymind
      61F Wodonga, VIC,
       AU

      My view is that as a female of a couple oral is something you get at home all the time. I don't think I would go out for that, unless it is something out of the ordinary.
      >4w
    Reply
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