High five! Casual sex is good for you!
Casual sex has always been around and it seems to have become the norm in recent years with the increased popularity of adult dating, not just with the younger generation but also older people who have come out of long term relationships and are ready to experiment and enjoy their single life.
Obviously some people believe that sex without emotional attachment and long term commitment is morally corrupting society and they talk about it damaging self esteem. But is that actually true? There have been numerous research studies done on this topic but most of the research is limited to a single question about the self esteem of people who indulge in casual sex. For example if the person had recently lost their job and had casual sex, are they depressed because they had sex to try and feel better about themselves or are they depressed because of their lack of employment.
A US study published in 2015 in Archives of Sexual Behavior resulted in some interesting findings. The study was based on 370 single university students who recorded their bedroom antics over 9 months and the effect those hook ups had on their self esteem, life satisfaction and anxiety.
Where this study was unique was that it explored the motivations for the students having casual sex. The motivations were divided between "right" reasons being autonomous, or "wrong" reasons being non-autonomous. The "right" reasons included wanting the fun and enjoyment, being highly attracted to the other person or to explore and learn about their sexuality. The "wrong" reasons included having sex for revenge, hoping the encounter would lead to a long term relationship, to feel better about themselves, being coerced into having sex or being too drunk to make a responsible decision.
The research found that if people enjoyed casual sex and hooked up for autonomous reasons their feelings about casual sex were positive. And they experienced an improvement in their overall well being and were less likely to suffer from depression or anxiety. The study identified these students as being "socialsexual" which the urban dictionary describes as "Individuals who have a more unrestricted sociosexual orientation are more willing to have casual sex and are more comfortable engaging in sex without love, commitment or closeness."
In contrast the people who had sex for non-autonomous reasons reported an increase in anxiety or stress which was attributed to the casual sex. And of course having safe sex and using protection is critical to avoid the one night stand morning after blues where you worry about pregnancy or the risk of contracting an STI.
The study found that students typically reported lower stress and higher well-being after having casual sex over the research period compared to not having casual sex. And there was no noticeable difference in the results for women or men.
Lead researcher Zhana Vrangalov of Cornell University said, "This study certainly seems to suggest that casual sex can be a good thing for people who are open to it, desire it, and have positive attitudes towards it."
So, if you're comfortable with your sexual life, enjoy casual sex and would describe yourself as sociosexual - go forth and copulate - it might just be that a hook up a day keeps the doctor away!
14 comments
LisaJohn4u
More than a month agoIf two people have unfulfilled sexual desires and are consensual in a short term or ongoing sexual relationship, then what is wrong with that? I am married but due to physical reasons have very little sex with my wife. I don't love her any less for that, it's not her fault. As a matter of fact my love for her has increased since I've had casual sex outside my marriage. I believe that it's detrimental to a healthy lifestyle (mentally and physically) for someone whose love language of physical touch is starved. Is that my way of justifying having an extramarital relationship? I don't know, maybe it is but here's what I know: I felt less loving towards my wife when I was feeling horny all the time and no way of following through. Not having sex was causing me to be obsessed about not having it. She didn't like to masturbate me, so it was up to me to do that. I felt worse by masturbating.
So, I decide to take that unfulfilled "part" of our marriage and express it with someone else who has the same need. I am clear up front that I am only looking for a casual relationship, so the decision to engage in casual sex is agreed upon on those terms. I have learned a lot from having casual sex and have explored sexual experiences that I hadn't previously experienced. I also know that the person who I have had sex with has also had pleasure. I have found that I can once again be loving and affectionate with my wife without the added pressure on her of unwanted sex. She now has started to relieve my sexual desires by masturbation and oral sex. I in turn can give her oral pleasure and she has started to experience orgasm once again. So in my case casual sex has improved my marriage. Right or wrong that is my story.
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoTo be honest it sounds like your wife is now physically affectionate because you're available emotionally simply by having your needs met by other women. It might be time to open the lines of communication with her as it sounds like you need to do more than scratch the surface. However no judgement only best wishes for you and your betrothed :)
allinmymind
More than a month agoWhat a great story. :)
Sweeth3art do you know what you are saying?
John sounds like you put a lot of thought into it, so glad things are going well. Thanks for your honesty.
Doit2meagain
More than a month agoSo good to hear when a wife is understanding enough to allow her husband to have his sexual desires met elsewhere when she is unable to meet them.
Charlie7001
More than a month agoHygiene and understanding with casual sex when doing all sorted satisfaction then leaving giving and getting respect makes a person feel really good about other people and themselves : feeling part of social being again. Except tance is only felt by responding and respecting each other's willing to climax.
ReplyJhoping
More than a month agoI am eagerly awaiting my descent back into the spontaneous excitement of a casual romp. This elusive world seemed so easily reached millennia ago, but now feels as easy as winning powerball. I am a believer, but one day hope to be a preacher.
ReplyDear Easter Bunny, before you depart for another year, please no more chocolate eggs, i just need some hot honey
Darkstud
More than a month agoI am a lover of casual sex..........it has done more good to me than harm. I particularly feel attracted to the fact that I am having consensual sex with strangers who I have talked to or met not long ago. Casual sex lifts up my morale, makes me feel healthy, sexy and young.
Replyintomeic
More than a month agoI may sound capricious
but it certainly is delicious
when willing bodies entwine
the feeling is divine
just as long as there is honesty
and lashings of chemistry
then we can all 'BE' free
without fear of hypocrisy
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agohere here wholly agree
SassySandy
More than a month ago"SOCIALSEXUAL"!!! That's me, in a safe and fun way..NOTHING BETTER....don't have to duck and dive, I'm relaxed, healthy and taking more care of my body aswell...what a way to be ON TOP OF THE WORLD!!..MMMMM
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoAwesome.
AtomicCouple
More than a month agoWell considering I'm still smiling this morning... I vote... More Baby ;) Definite feel good, stress relief, fun, that leave me with a definite feeling of wellbeing. After a bit of experience on the casual front, I agree, our self esteem has improved. On a side note, we are more body conscious (healthier) another plus.
Replyquivertouch99
More than a month agoPutting the obvious health risks aside, it's refreshing to know that people are more inclined these days to indulge in casual sex without the guilt placed on them by the moral crusaders.
It healthy to release sexual tensions with a person in a fully consensual liaison without having to commit to a long term partnership. It's good that women are feeling more comfortable with casual sex too and not made to feel like they are morally corrupt as in the past.
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoThat last comment is so true...we were made to feel that way and it was wrong. Thanks Quiver