5 Mistakes Guys Make in Bed

Adult Match Maker on 27 May 2015    28 comments
Couple lying in bed looking like the woman is upset because the man has made a mistake

Much as we'd all love to believe we live up to a godly sex standard, there’s always room for improvement. However, there are certain things about heterosexual sex in particular that encourage widespread, systemic mistakes - you know, simply because we're not dealing with the same parts and body chemistry.

But to hell with all that Mars and Venus crap. We're all much more alike than we are different, and despite what conventional wisdom says, there are some men out there who seem to know exactly what women want, at least in the bedroom.

If you're not entirely there yet, don't let yourself get too limp over it. Here are the five biggest mistakes guys make in bed, with some pointers on how to avoid them:

1.  The "Point A to Point B" manner

If you're guilty of this one, we don't blame you at all. Isn't the "male brain” all about linear logic?

Unfortunately, if you've been going through the same exact motions your entire adult life - make out, fondle the boobs, exchange oral, fuck, lather, rinse, repeat - it's time to consider radically upending your routine.

Wouldn't it feel kind of novel and exciting if a woman ripped off your pants and immediately went down on her knees without so much as a warmup kiss?

That's not to say you need to take the warmth and tenderness out of the equation, but instead, allow your intuition to guide your way through the process, whether that entails a back-massage-turned-salad-tossing or a romp that ends in a long makeout session.

2.  Not paying attention to the buildup

For the love of all things holy, slow down! Unless you're engaging in a hot quickie, sex shouldn't feel like you're high-tailing it to your own orgasm.

Perhaps you have a tendency to ejaculate prematurely - if so it's not your fault if things end a little quicker than expected. But if that's the case - and even if you've got the self-control of a monk - no one will fault you for taking a break from thrusting to deliver a little extra tongue.

Plus, buildup is about so much more than speed. Setting the right tone can happen over the course of a workday, thanks to modern technology. Teasing and tempting your woman, whether you do that through your phone or when you first hop into bed, can make the whole experience better.

3.  Relying too much on Professor Porn

Once again, we simply can't blame you for taking your sexual cues from the world of internet porn. You’d be hard pressed to find a guy who doesn’t spend some time every week on their favourite XXX sites.

However, since you're here, you're obviously ready to re-examine some of those early learned behaviours, so it probably helps to understand that most porn tells you very little about what actually feels good to a woman. Those crazy positions and constant jackhammering may look fun on camera, but in the real world, they’re usually just uncomfortable.

Also, that the porn you watch has a professional team of editors at the ready once shooting is complete. In your own bedroom, however, those funny “O faces” and awkward noises will happen, so do whatever you can to let your partner know it doesn’t matter.

4.  Leaving us high and dry

Getting us wet enough is only part of the equation - we have to stay that way for things to keep feeling awesome. Assuming you're waiting until we're plenty moist to begin with, you should bear in mind that we sometimes require some extra wetness, especially during marathon sessions. If you’re using a condom, this problem is even more likely to occur.

That’s not all we mean about “leaving us high and dry,” however. Many men go into hibernation mode the minute they come and if you’ve fully satisfied your partner, she may be just fine with a bit of a post-coital nap. However, if you’re the type to roll over and start snoring as soon as you’re finished, you shouldn’t be surprised when you don’t get invited back. 

Of all the things that frustrate women about sex, the worst might be the overwhelming tyranny of "sex stops where the boner does".

5.  Missing the sweet spot

This goes hand in hand with leaning too much on the tutelage of porn, but you should let go of the notion that your partner's going to come just because you're ramming her extra hard.

If anything, jackhammer sex - though perfectly awesome when the mood's right - can hit your lady in all the wrong spots. More often than not, women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, which requires a complete session of oral, pubic friction, or the right kind of manual stimulation during sex. 

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Comments (28)

  • justforfun558

    justforfun558
    Account closed

    I guess a man should remember that not all women like the same things, just like not all men like the same things. Some like it hard, some like it soft, some fast, some slow, etc. I hate it when guy things he is doing it right, and even when I tell him to do it differently, he continues to do it "his" way and it almost rubs me raw with no pleasure at all. But what really gets me, is when a guy STOPS too soon and I am just starting to orgasm and he thinks I finished already, and he stops ALL action, no more touching, no more licking, etc. I mean really? And then, they ask that great question... did you cum? I tell so many men that I was just "starting" to cum but you stopped too soon, and then I lost it. I mean come on men, stop "thinking" that you know when a woman is finished, and listen to her and her body. My biggest complaint for men is DON'T STOP.
    >4w
    Reply
  • AngelLove64

    AngelLove64
    60F Adelaide, SA,
     AU

    Before a couple has sex for the first time they should talk about what they like and don't like doing in the bedroom. Communication is the best thing because the couple will know how to please each other and make the sex that more enjoyable. A women needs a man to be a good kisser,not all women like tongue kissing. Women like getting oral sex it makes us cum and we like are nipples being played with and sucked. After sex it is nice to be held by your partner. Most women like their partner to spend the night with them, instead of them going home straight after sex.
    >4w
    Reply
  • sexynsweet510

    sexynsweet510
    63F Townsville, QLD,
     AU

    Once I was with a guy although was wonderful in so many other areas, felt the need to claw at my breast. Even after I repeately told him that I had sensitive breasts! Women are not all the same if they say they don't like it stop have some respect!!! In the end I was feeling extremely pissed off as he was neither listening or didn't give a shit that it wasn't turning me on.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Leolady727

    Leolady727
    Account closed

    Can I just ask, guys - in WHAT Universe is biting ok?
    >4w
    Reply
  • shemeyouwe

    shemeyouwe
    Account closed

    Ahh yeahhh you like that huh say you love it! while you are giving them a bj...can't speak right then but yeah I like doing that to you otherwise it would not happen... then you do the same to me...men..we love being licked and you will have to love doing it too..we can tell if it's a chore for you. Learn to love it,it's the key to my happiness and satisfaction not sure about other women but yeah love it :)
    >4w
    Reply
  • Toyzza22

    Toyzza22
    52M Echuca, VIC,
     AU

    Thru the years of having sex with older and young chics, I've learnt to take it slow and explore around ( with some tips, & little bit of satnav navigation!!!) Hitting them sweet spots sending us both up on cloud 9.!! Or cloud "69"
    >4w
    Reply
  • 5.Cougars

    5.Cougars
    47F Campbelltown, NSW,
     AU

    oh lets not forget boobs are attached to skin, quit trying to rip them off, it hurts. biggest hint, touch.. touch your partner watch her reactions, sure to make her squirm for more... ;)
    >4w
    Reply
  • wantokjock

    wantokjock
    67M Springvale, VIC,
     AU

    Make sure the woman has the first orgasm,she comes first you are guaranted a fun time..alazy lover is nofun. Improve your foreplay introduce massage.Get close without fucking, its not all about sex.
    >4w
    Reply
  • looking#

    looking#
    53M QLD,
     AU

    Share the dream....
    >4w
    Reply
  • WarmhandsMe

    WarmhandsMe
    Account closed

    AND talking - if something doesn't feel good - say so and maybe think on how to make it feel better. ALSO girls/women, I love to put all of my naughty thoughts into actions, but I'd be just as happy to put your naughty thoughts onto the same playing field, after all it is a game ;-) one of the nicest that can be!
    >4w
    Reply
  • Sanguine.

    Sanguine.
    50F Melbourne, VIC,
     AU

    Sometimes it is the basic things such as having clean teeth, short nails and using soap when you bath! You don't have to wear cologne, just smell clean ;)
    >4w
    Reply
  • Letsenjoymore

    Letsenjoymore
    63M Newcomb, VIC,
     AU

    its about learning, having patience, its a two way street as well, staying ignorant is no excuse, guys and gals need to make efforts if they want to be better, these forums raise good points well done
    >4w
    Reply
  • Wolf58

    Wolf58
    Account closed

    valid points, with age comes experience ;)
    >4w
    Reply
  • JAKZBAK

    JAKZBAK
    Account closed

    I think there are some valid points, and I'm probably guilty of them all, at one time or another. I read the article to make sure I wasn't missing anything. Can barely wait to see the Female version of this. :)
    >4w
    Reply
  • Bartender84

    Bartender84
    45M Potts Point, NSW,
     AU

    35 years old and still learning....anyone want to practice with me? :)
    >4w
    Reply
  • NoHarmInAsking

    NoHarmInAsking
    Account closed

    Is there going to be a follow up, ie: The Mistakes Women Make In Bed? I'm starting to think this site is run by women, most of these articles are written by, and are also from a womans perspective.
    >4w
    • AMM.Events

      AMM.Events
      Staff Account

      Yes there is a follow up article "5 Mistakes Women Make in Bed" planned for July and BTW we have both a female & male editor who review the articles.
      >4w
    Reply
  • KeySydney

    KeySydney
    36F Sydney, NSW,
     AU

    Ha love this!
    Esspecially the porn tip. What looks good on camera doesn't always feel do good
    >4w
    Reply
  • Avaaaa

    Avaaaa
    Account closed

    How about when a guy plays the commentator? Guiding us from one position to the next as if we were trying to perform some choreographed dance that might look good in his head but once executed feels and looks ridiculous. Just go with the flow, be spontaneous rather than trying to fulfill all your fantasies in one session! be in the moment that's my advice
    >4w
    Reply
  • friskypuz

    friskypuz
    Account closed

    not to good either when the guy goes straight for the clit, and rubs so much it just gets annoying, rather than pleasure.
    >4w
    Reply
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