Masturbation: It's not just for wankers!

Cyndi Darnell Cyndi Darnell on 24 April 2015    20 comments
Sexy woman with bright red lipstick wearing an animal print blouse daydreaming

Masturbation. I am assuming that on a site like this, most of you are already pretty familiar with it, and are also fairly OK with sex being an important part of your life.

But masturbation is a really important part of our sexuality. Practicing masturbation can actually expand and enhance our erotic experiences with others. Who woulda thunk it?

Any of you that are familiar with my work know that I am a great advocate of deep, focussed sensual sex as a pathway to heightened orgasms, deeper connections and and more powerful erotic experiences that leave you longing for more, more, MORE! Here are a few tips to spice up your masturbation to improve your technique and bring more BANG to your bedroom escapades!

1. Practice slowing your masturbation down Why? You get to focus on different parts of your genitals or nipples. For example, if you are accustomed to quick wanking or using a vibrator to get off, practice using a slower technique and notice which parts of your genitals and nipples are more sensitive than others.

2. Penises. Instead of just jerking off to orgasm, try stimulating one part of your cock at a time.  A lot of  folks find the frenulum (this is the yummy little triangle in the underside of your penis where it joins the foreskin  - where it is or was) is really a delicious spot to touch with the pad of your forefinger. Using lube, make little circles on this area  and experiment with pressure and speed. 

2a. Practice extending your orgasm by getting yourself turned on, but just before you feel you are about to come, take your hands away and shift your breathing to your nose only. This helps you control your ejaculation giving you more choice about how you come and when. Practicing this regularly is a great way to train yourself to last longer during partnered sex.

3. Labia. Take the time to get to know your labia. Both inner and outer. If you haven't had a good look at yours, may May the month to get out a mirror and have a look around. Using lube really explore the areas you mightn't usually, like the area between the labia and the forchette, the area where the lips meet at  their lowest point, above the anus. How long does it take for your pussy to start to swell?  Take selfies of your pussy before, during and after arousal - to see how much it varies during these stages of arousal.

3a. Rock around the Clit Clock. (I learnt this one from my pal Barbara Carrellas) Imagine your clit is a clock face  Spend 2 minutes making tiny circles with your finger on each point of the clock face.Use lube but not too much - it desensitises. Which o'clocks feel best to you? A lot of us find the area between 5 o'clock and 7 o'clock the most divine. 

4. Instead of racing to orgasm, see how much stimulation you can take and how long it takes you to get to maximum wetness, hardness and arousal. For a lot of us it can be a while. You might surprise yourself at just how much pleasure you can have. After all, why scoff down a delicious meal. Learn to savour each nibble as if it were your last!

All this masturbation and attention to detail gives you more knowledge of your body and how it works and what it loves. The more you know the more you can share with others. To learn more tips like this, check out my website or  subscribe to my newsletter 

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