Every Penis has an Arsehole

Once regarded as the last bastion of gay men, male arseholes are making a comeback. Although porn stars have been moaning about them for years (and given the fact that females are lacking a prostate) it appears women aren’t the most fitting beneficiaries of anal penetration.

In fact, not only does anal sex with him make ideal ‘play’ during her urinary tract infection or menstruation – it’s also an amazing role reversal for a female to be ‘nailing’ the man beneath her. Among other things, it helps women understand why our lovers sometimes slow down just when we’re peaking or why a ‘quickie’ is often enough. Tops and bottoms also use completely different sets of muscles and it’s very enlightening to ‘walk the walk’ in someone else’s’ shoes.

I am, quite frankly, as jealous as hell. I have it on very good authority that prostate stimulation feels like ‘a long, continuous orgasm’ and is on par with – if not better – than ejaculation. That means if men aren’t getting there, they’re missing out on half the fun.

However, the road to anal penetration isn’t travelled overnight – forward reconnaissance missions are usually necessary. This is mostly because – however willing – the virgin anus tends to be a tad reluctant. Initial forays are often met with stiff resistance (in all instances of the words) and the psychological barriers make a hymen look like an intergalactic stargate.

The best way to commence anal training is during oral sex. Using plenty of lube and latex gloves, slowly and gently insert your middle finger into his anus at the same time as sucking his cock. By bending your finger back towards you and reaching up over the smooth bit at the base of his penis, there is a section of skin that seems disturbingly bumpy. This apparently is normal and when you reach just beyond it, there is a small, smooth mound that is guaranteed to send your partner ballistic. (If he’s not feeling it you are either in the wrong spot or he’s paralysed from the waist down). The combination of sucking and stroking are quite likely to cause him to ejaculate and it’s apparently an age-old technique used by sex workers and homosexuals to get their partners to blow.

Whatever the case, once performed – it is a trick that impresses even the most seasoned lovers and it won’t be long before they will want to explore other anus attributes. This includes the sensitive nerve endings around the sides, which are not unlike those on a female’s clitoris.

Over time, slowly increase the number of fingers inserted and then graduate to a small butt plug. By now, he will probably be looking for bigger things, so a trip to the sex shop or some online shopping may be necessary. Although he might be tempted by the wide array of huge cocks on offer, select a soft, jelly-like one for starters – first time tops will appreciate the flexibility and it will make the angle of entry much easier to achieve. Once again, be patient and treat his anus in much in the same way as you would a vagina – some finger foreplay first and plenty of lube. The number and strength of strokes can be increased over time.

Above all, ensure you communicate! Whether this is dirty talk ordering your new ‘slut’ to provide feedback or gentle loving whispers, make sure you tell each other when to ‘stop’, ‘go’ and ‘no’. Always remember to clean toys and fingers before insertion into different holes and consider douching beforehand if the rectum is full (it’s amazingly unsmelly when empty!).