Crucial Online Dating Tips for Newbies

Cam Langdon Cam Langdon on 20 January 2012    22 comments
Young man in a suit staring at the camera and pointing

If you have just joined an adult dating website, it can seem really daunting. Sometimes the apprehension can be like the nerves you experience on the first day in a new job.

And that’s understandable – everyone is anxious about new things. The problem is, this can lead to big mistakes that will bugger up your dating success rate in a massive way.

And in the world of online dating – getting it right the first time can be the difference between meeting someone for a fun night and suffering another “KK” (Kleenex and KY) evening, all alone with nothing but a DVD from the local adult shop for company.

Sure, women do a lot of things wrong as members of dating sites. Most blunders, though, are definitely made by the male – dare I say it – members.

Here are a half-dozen tips that will help you avoid making the common mistakes, and ensure you do better than the complacent guys out there. These are the arrogant types who slap together a crappy profile, post some even crappier photos, and then wait in vain for their Online Dating Princess to just turn up at the front door wearing a revealing dress, carrying a bottle of wine and desperately asking directions to the bedroom.

Give it all you’ve got!

Imagine you are applying for your dream job. There are thousands of other applicants all dying to score this job. In the same way, don’t be half-arsed about your membership of a dating site, because there is also competition here. There are more guys than women on some sites, so don’t be slack. When you do have the right attitude and put in the hard yards, though, you should be rewarded with lots of dates.

Go for the pay sites

Times are tough economically, and everybody wants a free lunch. But there is no such thing – and even more so in online dating. To stand the best chance of meeting people who are serious, you simply must join a professionally run and maintained online dating service, such as Adult Match Maker. Because the people who run these sites want them to succeed, they offer services of a much higher standard. And here’s the clincher for blokes – the quality of women who join is higher than on complete free-loader sites. If you are doubtful, join a free and a pay dating site, and then compare the difference.

Look far and wide

Some people think they should just look for dates in their local areas. Huge mistake. By broadening your horizons to encompass a bigger geographical area, you will be astounded at the potential compatibles you will find. This is especially true of guys and girls who may have a special requirement or desire – sexual or otherwise – that they seek in a partner. You might be in Cairns, but the girl who will do that special something that drives you wild might live in Brisbane. Being prepared to travel can increase your dating success rate exponentially.

Make the best effort in creating your profile

Newbies are so thrilled and excited by the sheer fact of signing up to a dating site that they forget to put up a decent profile. Others just couldn’t be bothered. Don’t be one of these! Always get a close friend to check – they will spot the most glaring stuff-ups. Try and stay as truthful as you can, but a little jazzing up is okay. If you are a boring, cardigan-wearing nerd from accounts, for example, you might like to emphasize some of the more exciting parts of your life. Like your Star Wars light sabre collection. Not really, but you need something attention grabbing, or the clicks you get will be few. And get the photos right! Between two and six is usually a good number, and try and include at least one of you with other people – this shows you are probably not a crazy loner. Once again, your mates will tell you which photos of you are the most flattering.

Don’t set your hopes on a super model

Many dating experts do a great job of pushing men to increase their confidence levels so they can feel comfortable asking out the really beautiful women. But, let’s face facts, this isn’t always going to happen. Some guys are born shy and will stay shy their whole lives. And if you combine that with average looks, the reality is, they are never going to be dating Miss Universe. But here’s the upside – for the average Joes out there like you and me, online dating sites are not lacking average Janes who are delighted to go out with normal guys who are shy and average looking. Take a reality check, give the average people a chance, and see your dating stats skyrocket!

Hang in there!

I’ve seen many posts on Internet forums from guys bitching and moaning about XYZ dating site. These are the men I mentioned before who expect everything to come to them. Like many things in life, dating online is a numbers game. Statistically, you might make more approaches than you get responses, but as a member of a large online dating site, the results will come. And so will you! Have patience and keep applying yourself.

Once you see the number and quality (in terms of compatibility) of your dates go up, you will be glad that you bit the bullet and joined that dating site.

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Comments (22)

  • someprofile

    someprofile
    Account closed

    and when NONE of that works?
    >4w
    Reply
  • CamLangdon

    CamLangdon
    51M Brisbane, QLD,
     AU

    The key is to use these approaches in combination, not isolation. Of course, there are many other things you can do - these are just six of the most basic steps to keep in mind. Sometimes a specific profile may need some professional "tweaking" to get it right. Each case needs to be looked at individually. If you are getting nowhere, then perhaps a radical makeover of your profile is in order. You might also need to think very hard about what you put in your initial contact messages, as this is also critical. I'll be writing about that and other effective online dating tactics in upcoming articles.
    >4w
    Reply
  • fullfiguredfun

    fullfiguredfun
    51F Windaroo, QLD,
     AU

    New to AMM the advice given is a good guide, as a Female a good profil is very important to me, I want to know a little about the person and what they are looking for in a "date".
    I don't want to waste time on Mr Average if he's looking for a Super Model type, the reality is they are dating some Super Rich/Good Looking guy. Keep it real it's OK to be average and date a "Real average person" than not date a fantasy.
    The tip on extending your area is a good tip, I met a guy at a festival in QLD and he travels from Sydney to be with me,he's an average looking guy not my normal type, but I gave him a chance and we have had many fun times together and with others.
    Put the ego in the back seat and get real and have some real fun.
    >4w
    Reply
  • Cal3840

    Cal3840
    Account closed

    the same way they play games out there... they do this here as well. And some profiles are no even real or who knows what they are up to? But you are right about statistics.
    >4w
    Reply
  • jabare

    jabare
    Account closed

    don't put too much trust on everyone on the site, just be open minded about everything that come your way.
    >4w
    Reply
  • NURSE.SHELL

    NURSE.SHELL
    64F Barden Ridge, NSW,
     AU

    Cant emphasise ENOUGH to have up to date photos too. I update my pic every month or so..and I purchased a video cam so people can SEE the real me. Another tip...just be open and honest. Doesnt hurt :-)
    >4w
    Reply
  • Mazabella

    Mazabella
    57F Hamilton, QLD,
     AU

    Great article, but may I add that as a woman I don't want to see a photo of anyones dick. It's not a very photogenic part of your body and it leaves nothing to the imagination! So, now you have made contact and a girl has agreed to meet you. Don't assume you are onto a sure thing, chemistry is important too. Treat girls with a little respect and don't take it as a given. You may well get lucky but you have to put in the yards to get the goal!
    >4w
    • nortynewbies

      nortynewbies
      Account closed

      Mazabella, i so agree dic pics are the most boring of photos, if I go to a profile and that is the first photo up I close it and go on to someone else.
      >4w
    Reply
  • lawrencemanny

    lawrencemanny
    39M Stanhope Gardens, NSW,
     AU

    all these same u r all beautiful
    >4w
    Reply
  • Bhinda

    Bhinda
    36M Phillip, ACT,
     AU

    Good
    >4w
    Reply
  • luvssoft

    luvssoft
    48M Bellerive, TAS,
     AU

    Thanx heaps for great advice!
    >4w
    Reply
  • kumarpb4u

    kumarpb4u
    37M Ashfield, NSW,
     AU

    good
    >4w
    Reply
  • lpggetdown

    lpggetdown
    53M Melbourne, VIC,
     AU

    thankyou
    >4w
    Reply
  • 69toyou

    69toyou
    71M Brisbane, QLD,
     AU

    Thank you for some good advice !
    >4w
    Reply
  • evan12

    evan12
    52M Springvale South, VIC,
     AU

    thankyou
    >4w
    Reply
  • Sovatt

    Sovatt
    37M Macquarie Park, NSW,
     AU

    Thanks
    >4w
    Reply
  • deeff65

    deeff65
    39M Auburn, NSW,
     AU

    Thanks
    >4w
    Reply
  • gavros

    gavros
    85M Cherrybrook, NSW,
     AU

    all good
    >4w
    Reply
  • Ibonysoxi

    Ibonysoxi
    37M Perth, WA,
     AU

    This game has never a one-way rule - it is the most complex thing on earth. These are just guidelines. Some women may respond positive, others negative. It totally depends on a one-on-one communication with whoever girl you're chatting with. I've spent huge efforts on girls some of whom have turned out with positive responses, others with negative. On the other hand, I've spent so little effort on other girls and they've responded with huge positives. These imply it all - it is extremely a case-by-case basis. My rule is be yourself - If the girl doesn't like you just the way you are, don't force it and waste your time, move on and find another one - only time will tell! Meanwhile this is not only about guys hunting girls, women in Texas hunt for men - find out for yourself - yet women in Australia take it for granted coz they've got quite a lot on their plates to choose from. Women will need to make an 'effort' too if they want a man to develop with them. Many women expect a man to say the 'right' words to which they magically feel comfortable with without realizing the the men are only 'humans' just like them. Women in this regard are quite egotistical. It is a give and take process!!!
    >4w
    • B.LGuyOz

      B.LGuyOz
      Account closed

      I agree with ibonysoxi 100%, women in Australia are a tough bunch dont know but with what he said about women in Texas chasing men, women in Australia i seriously dont know what they want
      >4w
    Reply
  • 1976Tony

    1976Tony
    48M Carrington, NSW,
     AU

    I live and breath by 2 simple saying's, "Treat people the way u want to be treated" &"Talk to people the way u want to be talked too". Remember we are all human and all men like to be treated as one, so Ladies please stop looking for that minor mistake or flaw a man might have to use as a, "Get out Card" most of us men are doomed for failure to attract a women from the start because of unrealistic expectations that "Mr Right" is also "Mr perfect". Not the case Ladies! We don't like "Ball Busters" and I find women who are and really don't give us men a fair chance are women with insecurities of their own and are to self scented in believing ur feeling's are the only one's Sept able to hurt. A secret for all you women,- A true Ladies man Love's a women who can point out his floor's and weakness's (sorry guys) because all us guy's want is to be able for the right women is to be your "Mr Right".
    >4w
    Reply
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