Green Flags to look for in a New Relationship
Eva Sless
on 26 September 2025
2 comments
Dating is hard. It's fraught with all sorts of anxieties and self doubts and unknowns. The internet is full of stories about bad dates and bad partners. Every second relationship blog is there to point out red flags and warnings and what to look out for. And while yes, it's definitely important to talk about red flags and safety and undesirable people and the traits they may possess, sometimes we forget to shout out about the green flags that we should be looking out for.
You know what I mean. Those little signs and positive moments that say “this one’s a keeper”, or at least “this one’s worth taking your pants off for”.
Here are a few of the best ways we've thought of to know if someone is the right someone to let into your world, and possibly your bed.
Consent is Everything
Back in the day pretty much the only thing we mentioned about consent was the slogan "no means no", and while that’s absolutely still the case, we've also moved on a bit from that surface level understanding.
Yes of course no still means no, but also we now understand and teach that it goes a lot deeper than that. A hesitation means no. An "um" means no. A reluctant "okay" actually might mean no. In fact, green flag lovers know that "only an enthusiastic yes means yes", and they stick to it, and check in regularly.
They know consent is sexy as fuck and that checking in regularly absolutely doesn't ruin the mood. They want to know you're happy and comfortable and enjoying yourself, and they just ooze with a delicious kind of energy that makes you feel safe, seen, and very ready to get naked.
They Respect Your Boundaries
Hand in hand with understanding consent, respectful, green flag partners listen and fully accept when you say no to something. They don’t pout or argue or try to bargain or make you feel bad. They smile and hug and say "okay". They understand it's bigger than them and not a slight. They get that it's okay that you did it yesterday but don’t want to do it today. They get that it might be something you will never want to try. They get that people are varied and different and not everyone is into everything and that's just life and it's totally fine. They totally get that boundaries aren’t a negotiation tactic, they’re basic respect. And someone who gets that will also get you.
Clear Communication
They don't have to write long, flowery missives or verbose, literary essays like some old worldy person with a feathered quill. Green flag communicators absolutely know how to make plans or answer questions, or let you know how they're feeling without leaving you guessing or feeling worse than you did when you started. They know how to use their words and use them well, and this is in all areas. Whether it’s making plans for the weekend or whispering naughty things in the bedroom. It's sexy and straightforward, and perfect green flag material.
Prioritising Sexual Health
Condoms appear without a dramatic sigh or dumb quip about taking a shower in a raincoat?
They mention their STI check casually, like they’re chatting about a regular GP visit?
They know what PrEP is?
They ask about latex or other sensitivities?
All of these are huge green flags! It shows they care about not only their own sexual health, but yours as well, and that they know that safety is just part of the fun which then allows you to have even more fun! Safe sex really is damn sexy.
They Emphasise Mutual Pleasure
All the best lovers don’t just care about their own orgasm. They’re invested in yours. In fact, a proper green flag lover knows that sex for only one person's pleasure is called masturbation and they leave that for when they're not hanging out with you.
Your moans make them hotter.
Your pleasure is their pleasure.
Your enjoyment is the reason they want to fuck you.
They’re not just there for their own big finale, they’re there for the whole damn show and maybe even an encore!
Respectful Towards You AND Others
This is good advice for everyone in your life, not just the people you rub genitals with. Always pay close attention to how they treat those people who can do nothing for them, the ones they don’t have to impress. The waiter, the bartender, the Uber driver. How do they react to loud children or a homeless person asking for change? If they’re kind and patient and respectful all round, and not just to those who can do or provide them with something, it’s a definite green flag. Hurtful, hateful, selfish people can't keep that act up around people they deem "less than", and you'll notice it straight away.
Active Listening
We've all met someone who just smiles and nods and waits for you to finish talking while not actually taking in a single word. They can't remember what you said ten minutes later and it's obvious they just switched off and waited for their turn.
An active listener takes interest. They ask questions. They laugh at your jokes. They remember that you hate coriander, but are too nervous to ask for a dish without it so they mention it to the waiter for you. They remember your favourite wine and make sure they have it in the fridge at their house. They notice when you're slightly off or feeling a bit low. They notice the way your breath changes when they touch you. They take in the details of you and they act on them, and that’s the kind of attentiveness that translates beautifully from dinner table to bedroom and to all the good times you can imagine.
Spotting red flags is important, but when you see the green ones? That’s when dating gets exciting and special because green flags mean less drama, better sex, and partners who actually give a damn, and that’s absolutely worth sending that wink or swiping right for don't you agree?
Until next time, happy flag spotting.
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