Are big boobs better?
Eva Sless
on 9 February 2023
36 comments
As a woman who has spent her entire life (from about 11 years old) living with big boobs, I can tell you, when I was first asked to write this piece my initial thought was "No. No they're not. End of story. Ouch my back. Next article please.. " But then I remembered I am but one person, and the world does not revolve entirely around me, and so I had a sit and a think, and then asked a bunch of people, some who have boobs, and others who just like to touch and look at them, the same question, and this piece is the culmination of our thoughts and opinions, with a little bit of science chucked in for good measure.
What Does "Better" Even Mean?
This was probably the most common response to my question when I asked, and I for one completely agree with it.
Better? Better for whom? Bigger? Bigger than what? And therein lies one of the cruxes to this entire question and argument... Bigger and better is completely subjective and personal, and can change depending on each individual situation.
For example, my DD boobs are, to me, an uncomfortably big size that hurt my back and get slimy sweat underneath them on hot days, they feel heavy and uncomfortable when I'm trying to sleep, and they've never sat nicely in a cute little bralette. But I'd never say that in front of my friends, Jen and Kate (not their real names), who constantly tell me how much they wish they had my tits.
You see, Jen has a bra size that doesn't actually exist in most shops and boutiques, she is a (natural) size HH. And Kate is a B cup.
They both feel a little cheated by the boobs they've been dealt and wish they'd been in a different line when they were handed out...
The thing is, though, both of these women are sex workers, and both of them are incredibly popular in their jobs (somewhere in the top 2% of Only Fans accounts), and have men and women the entire world over absolutely loving everything about them... including their boobs.... And paying bloody good money to see them, and even more to touch them!
Thou Shalt Not Covet
Look, that's all well and good for your ancient biblical times and all, but in this world of capitalism and body shaming, and companies constantly telling you to change everything about yourself because you're totally shit without their product... coveting is like a national event, and we are bloody good at it!
Everyone wants what they don't have, and the grass is always greener on the other side. But what we always seem to forget is that there is probably someone else out there looking at our grass and wishing it was theirs... This is just how the world works. It's science! So let's see what the lab coats actually say.
The Science Of Boobage
Surprise, surprise there are numerous studies out there on boobs, their sizes, and "what men like", and for the most part they all have pretty similar conclusions, so I'm not sure why researchers are still getting lucrative grants to study it (who am I kidding, of course I know why).
Basically there are two schools of scientific thought on breast size preference, biological and sexual, and one has to do with babies, and the other babe-age... you know, how much of a "babe" someone thinks you are.
For those stuck on the biological, in the most primal sense we look for mates who will be most compatible to producing strong, healthy offspring, and big boobs tell us that potentially lots of milk will be produced, and our babies will therefore be well-fed and plump, and able to survive the harsh winters. This is, of course, utter bullshit, and I'd like to tell that to my incredibly large breasts (G cup when the "milk" came in) that failed to produce milk for my baby and, not only that, but also tried to smother her to death with every agonising, soul-destroying feed. But I digress...
Sexy Boobs
The science of sexual preference is a bit different, though, and that pretty much takes over from the biological every time. As I think it probably should.
As I mentioned there have been numerous scientific studies undertaken on boobs and what the best ones are, and after reading through a whole lot of them I've come to the conclusion that science is sometimes dumb, and we really need to rethink where our research money goes.
For most of the studies, people were shown pictures of a woman with different breast sizes, nipples, and areola colouring, and then their reactions and preferences etc were noted, and then some boffin with a boner wrote up a paper about boobs, and patted himself on the back for his own scientific cleverness.
But what annoyed me the most from the endless research grants and money thrown at these studies, is the main consensus from them all is something I could have told you for free... People like boobs sexually, regardless of their shape and size, thank you very much, pass the butter please... And we especially like the boobs we have been given permission to touch (with most studies showing that over 60% of partners were more than satisfied with their partner's breasts.)
Deep Dive Into The Cleavage
If we're going to look into it all a little deeper, there were a few things that did interest me in the findings of some of these studies.
For example, while boobs and their sizes don't often make a difference to those who like boobs, nipples and areola were far more likely to come into play in sexual preference. Small breasts with lighter coloured areola and nipples were mostly deemed not sexually attractive at all because they looked too pre-pubescent, however small breasts with darker nipples and areola gave similar reactions to larger breasts. Large breasts with darker nipples and areola denoted more mature women and/or mothers and so were found less sexually attractive to the younger participants, but just as attractive as the rest to those who were older or who had had children of their own.
Full breasts (regardless of size) are more appealing to the eye than flat, as are close-together boobs more attractive than separated ones. Apparently if you're Polish you're more likely to be attracted to a smaller chest, while Americans like a larger size.
But probably the most surprising statistic I came across, that makes a lot of my opening rant probably moot, is that in almost all surveys, when asked, women were more likely than not to be satisfied with their breasts. So take that, Capitalism!
So let's break this down into its simplest, too long didn't read, conclusion.
Are big boobs better? Not necessarily for everyone, but for some people yes!
Don't stress about what you haven't got, or what someone else has. You're awesome the way you are... And your boobs are divine.
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