Let's Bust Some Myths about Slutty Girls
Eva Sless
on 3 September 2022
43 comments
Slut. What a ridiculous word with absolutely no real meaning. It's like "virginity". What does it even mean? What's the definition and scale? Basically it’s just an imaginary line drawn by old fashioned ideas of control and "what women should do" that constantly moves depending on the day, the woman, the action, and how hot or not she is deemed by society. Fuck that.
We're going to break down some of the more common myths that surround women who enjoy lots of sex, and embrace and reclaim the word "slut" as one of power, strength, and women doing what the fuck they want with their own bodies.
Totally radical, I know, but empowering and fun as fuck, as well as getting the pearl-clutchers right where they clutch hardest.
Sluts have no self respect!
Or maybe they actually respect their bodies and sexuality so much they don't have to be held to bullshit patriarchal standards of "good women" to feel worthy in the eyes of men who literally don't give a fuck about them!
See, the thing is, women who know their own pleasure and their own desires are strong and frightening to men who want to control them, and discomforting to women who like to keep the status quo, and so they are put down and degraded and held up as examples of what not to be. But in fact there is nothing more self respecting than knowing yourself, knowing what you want, need, and desire, and then going out and getting it done.
Power to you, girl! Go get that O!
Sluts are dirty with STIs
Firstly STIs don't make you "dirty". They're an unfortunate, yet incredibly common risk and side effect of having sex, and you can get them in many ways, from many sources, and can get them if you've had sex only once, or a thousand times.
Secondly, sexually active people who have a lot of sex with different people, are VERY aware of the risk factors involved in having sex and take the necessary precautions and steps towards preventing them. Statistically sex workers and porn stars (the biggest "sluts" on the planet) have the lowest rates of STIs among any other social demographics, as do swingers and other "promiscuous" lifestyles. So actually no.
Your Grandpa in the nursing home is actually far more statistically likely to get an STI than Kandy down at the stripclub... So let's change our thinking on that.
Sluts must have daddy issues or they’ve been sexually abused
Oh yawn. What a tired trope this is. I mean firstly the number of shitty and absent dads there are in this world, on top of the number of women who are victims of some form of sexual assault means that, statistically, yes there are a lot of them around. But that can literally be said of any women in any field in basically any country in the world.
Studies have been done that prove the number of women who have suffered from assault (approximately 1 in 3) doesn't change whether you are surveying female sex workers, teachers, nurses, or mechanics.
That's where our focus and shame should be. On the sheer number of men who abuse women... Not women having some fun for themselves... But we're still a while away from that.
Sluts will steal your guy!
She really won't. You know why? Because humans can't be stolen (caveats on slavery etc, but y'all know what I meant).
If your partner is cheating on you, or looking elsewhere, that is on them. Not on anyone else. Sure there are some people out there that don't care about other people's relationships but they are trash not sluts. Sluts like to play and have fun, but for the most part, they're not out to steal your guy or ruin your marriage. Most sluts have many options, your shitty husband usually isn't one of them.
Sluts are just dumb bimbos!
You know what, some might be! Some might have a PhD. Some might be your mum! Intellect and education has no bearing on what you do in your pants, and making assumptions on someone's intelligence because of what they do in their pants makes you look like the ignorant loser, not them. In fact, it makes your insecurity look huge in those jeans!
Basically, what I'm trying to say is who cares! We're over twenty years into the new century. We are Beyond 2000. We are literally living in the future... The world is dying, wars are ravaging, children are starving, pandemics are rising... And you're pissed off because Jen fucked two different guys this week?
Let's get our priorities straight, and start caring about the things that really matter.
Jen and her bits will be fine.
Go and plant a tree.
43 comments
AaliaTT
More than a month agoUntil men are given an equally derogatory title, I am another that is not fond of ‘slut’ as a descriptor, don’t want to reclaim it and would rather use a different word for a woman who embraces her sexuality.
ReplyUmmm….what word could we use….
Flap ….. too anatomical
Slip ….. too literal
Got it….we can call her ‘woman’.
Adell1
More than a month agoSexually confident women is a better term than slut for my money but hey, it is just a word, and as they say "sticks and stones......". My body, my choice. I am single and make sexual choices that suit me and my circumstances, but they are all based around a strong connection in the first place. Is that being a slut? Who cares is my answer...
ReplyI like Jen !
Funtimes4us123
More than a month agoHahaha the word slut simply comes from jelaousy i think. I mean lets be strait up here,Men love so called sluts. All Men want a slut in the bedroom and a lady in the streets. Full respect and admiration to any women that satisfys her needs and wants whateva way she chooses and cares nothing of the opinion of others to her for doing so. .
Replyednbondi
More than a month agoTotally agree. A friend once told me to watch out because a woman I liked, and seemed to like me, was a "slut". Meanwhile he was trying to get laid by any woman who he had a chance with. Why are men applauded for being a "stud" and women derided for being a "slut". They are doing the same thing, the only difference being their gender. There is nothing wrong with people enjoying each other sexually, just keep your hand's off somebody else's significant other unless it's all above board and agreed to. I used to help organise and participate in group parties. Singles and couples attended and everyone had a great time. I don't think slut should even exist as a word.
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ReplyBlue262
More than a month ago"Why are men applauded for being a "stud" and women derided for being a "slut". They are doing the same thing, the only difference being their gender."
You answered your own question. Men and women are different. Women have all the children, but no woman can have 300 children, while there are a few princes out there who've done exactly that, by having hundreds of wives.
"A lock that can be opened by any key is a terrible lock, a key that opens any lock is a valuable key." That's the logic you're arguing against. I'm not saying that's what I think, but that's the sort of thinking you have to answer.
Hypno13
More than a month agoHere's an old saying...sluts will sleep with anyone, bitches sleep with anyone but you!
ReplyMay or may not be accurate, but it's old.
JackTheBottom
More than a month agoIt takes away your credibility when you resort to cliches and tropes, particularly when they are sexist ones, when dealing with a serious topic.
ReplyBut overall this is a good and insightful article.
Stefan1986
More than a month agoPolitics. Same game different name. Losers and winners.
Replyalex4bb
More than a month agoAny combination of anything mentioned in this article, may or may not apply to sluts or non-sluts or anything in between
ReplyBlue262
More than a month agoThe social group regulates sexual activity, this is the unbreakable taboo. You break this taboo, you dissolve the social group. If that's not true, then everyone's opinions on this are weightless and worthless.
Where there's no rules, there's no fun to be had from breaking rules.
Kind of a childish and mixed up article, if one paragraph values "getting the pearl-clutchers right where they clutch hardest" while another asks "Who cares?"
Pick a lane.
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ReplyDeliciousEva
More than a month agoOne can not care what other's think, while still enjoying watching them clutch their pearls.
The two are not mutually exclusive by any means.
Blue262
More than a month agoIf we truly don't care what others think, as opposed to being in that adolescent phase of claiming not to care, we find ourselves quickly sent away from every social group that exists. The very few deeply broken people I've seen who don't care about the opinions of others were imprisoned and intractable prisoners at that.
ImUrSlut
More than a month agoMmm, I agree whole heartedly. Great article.
ReplyFor me, I know that Slut's just want to have FUN mmm LoL
Fuckudeep129
More than a month agoGood article, i personally don't like the term slut,I think it's degrading some women are content with the term,
Replygpdrelax1
More than a month agoGreat article. I have always said that we are in charge of our own body. If we wish to enjoy multiple partners ( after all the variety is great fun) then we should, be we female or male. I am disgusted by pub talk where males brag about their conquests at the same time deriding the wonderful women that made it possible. I agree that women should enjoy their bodies anyway they chose without being branded by shallow minded others who most likely don't have the courage to do the same, while secretly desiring to do so.
ReplyIfuwannadome
More than a month agoso what if a woman and her friend want to go out and have sex with 10 blokes, then go us, men dont say no, if we want to party then we will. and yes i have
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ReplyNotsonewnow
More than a month agogo girl, as long as you enjoy yourself & sounds like you do!
Ifuwannadome
More than a month agoohhh love mainland footy trips to the casino frid and sat nights. wild as, night days lol, my friend and i loved it
kickingaround
More than a month agoThe annoying part on AMM is the balance between all the opinions.... I like sex and I know want it often, but with guys I'm into...
Reply- if I turn a guy down I get called names for saying no and being too picky
- if I like a guy and invite him back too soon I'm clingy and must be falling in love
- if I make plans with too many guys in a month I'm dirty trash and a slut for fucking around
And on top of all of that the fun guys want me to take back the word slut and enjoy being called it even though I have 20+ years of coding it as a bad word in my head. I personally don't see myself getting the word slut on my list of words to call myself, but I am having so much fun in the company of the guys who use slut as a compliment.
Thank goodness for the fun guys (and the block button for the others)
WugoHeaving
More than a month agoNice article, strong people are themselves regardless of stereotypes. It is up to the rest of us to empower those who don’t have the strength within to be themselves.
ReplyCharlie8118
More than a month agoExcellent article!
Replyjustme3858
More than a month agoI agree with this article and its my pet hate when you hear guys calling women sluts. It annoys me when the same guys are patting themselves on the back bragging to each other about I shagged this one and that one but instead of their mates calling tbem out on it they are praising and patting each other on the back. So for the guys out there bagging women and then screwing anyone with a heart beat remember people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones
ReplyWangChung2Night
More than a month agoGreat article Eva.
ReplySlut, I don't use the term, there is absolutely nothing wrong with women having a healthy sex life with as many partners as they want. It's their choice and there are is a lot of mental repression around which is used as a form of control.
Friskybeach
More than a month agoI'm slutty and l know it.. love it, some men can't handle it, like the article says.. other women don't like it as it's how we are conditioned to think..
ReplyNothing wrong with being a sexy,classy slutt.
KinkyGirl101
More than a month agoGreat article Eva! It's such a double standard that slutty guys are patted on the back and applauded by their mates but slutty women are seen as dirty and cheap. All hail the slut I say! How wonderful for a woman to own her sexuality, her desire, her body and to indulge her needs.
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoAnd so say all of us!! Boo sucks to social conditioning, double standards, patriarchy & misogyny .....
Blue262
More than a month agoA slutty guy isn't patted on the back, he's seen as a selfish, empty and there are plenty of songs and stories about how that sort of man ages very badly.
Maybe boys in school think the guy who gets a lot of girls is winning on some scoreboard, but nobody with a brain thinks that in their twenties. Watching that guy get STDs and deal with not being great at relationships teaches everyone around him.
He IS dirty and cheap.
Account Closed
More than a month agoAgreed but it’s not just men judging women that own their bodies, it’s other women as well believe me I’ve experienced it first hand. It’s always been ‘ double ‘ standards and that’s unlikely to change. I don’t think all men pay other benefits that sleep around in the back but it’s certainly more accepted between them.
KinkyGirl101
More than a month ago@MandyMaree81 agreed it's certainly not just men judging.
KinkyGirl101
More than a month ago@blue262 what alter universe are you living in? Of course slutty men are patted on the back. They literally brag about it. And you've just reinforced the whole argument of this argument by saying the guys will get STDs - that's one of the myths.
MissMonty
More than a month agoJen sounds like my type of woman!
ReplyElegentNcounter
More than a month agoMy sentiments exactly ... the planet could use more trees.... Great read!
ReplyCultured.animal
More than a month agoGreat article. I've been lucky enough to find many "sluts" (ugly sounding word, prefer the sound of libertine) in this world who I have enjoyed time with and they, according to them, me. From what I've seen some of the biggest "sluts" are very powerful, highly educated ladies. I suspect there is a connection between ladies who live their lives as they want and ladies who are sluts. I'm also a firm believer that some true sluts are monogamous through conscious choice related to the love of one man because of the benefits in their lives though he is also normally works hard at it if you get what I mean.
ReplyWomden11
More than a month agoWell spoken Eva good job
ReplyThink a story article explaining those known as fridgit , teasers
Might help understand themselves better with this kind of behaviour
Just a thought
Naturallynormal
More than a month agoAgree totally. We still live in a patriarchal society that puts women down when they are seen as equals to men. A woman should be allowed to wear what she wants, when she wants and behave how she wants without put downs, lurid comments, or judgement.
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ReplyIVAONE60
More than a month agoI totally agree women have been put down for too long by what society says they should be.
Kyles1
More than a month agoBrilliant read
ReplySaphireTRANS76
More than a month agoWOW,what a fabulous & well written piece by Ms E.Sless.. Its about reclaiming the lost power one has over their own body,their libido and why not-when you know what you need,desire and want then go out to find it...You go girlfriends >this one shouts, then begins to dance the jig to Anthem "girls-rule the world" by Beyonce. Such an empowering moment.Build em up , not tear them down..Now thats progressive and a fab move forwards..
ReplyZamboon
More than a month agoThanks for the article ... I find that women call other women sluts more readily than men - and for any reason - the way they dress, loose morals and especially if they find out that they have been with their bf..
Ive known a number of lovely women who enjoy sex and like to refer to themselves as sluts and they like being called dirty names including sluts during sex play - long may they live !
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoAgreed, I think the women that do that are basically insecure themselves. I’ve never been judged by a women who’s doing more then me in any aspect of her life that’s for sure. It’s amuses me no end that some women think they have the right to judge this, probably a boring shag themselves :)
QLDhappycampers
More than a month agoThanks Eva.
Reply(I'm a man who loves liberated people!).
'Sluts' are fabulous and it's high time more men recognised the outlandish idea that a man good with women is somehow to be admired?!
Go you good bad girls!
William
Hedotoday
More than a month agoGreat article, nothing wrong with confidence is there. Some of these so called sluts are the nicest people, they just like what they like that’s it.
95 % of female/ males sluts you wouldn’t pick at all.
Enjoy
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ReplyMindfood2
More than a month agoWell said,
Thank you Eva..great article