Let's Talk About Awkward Intimate Moments

Sex is a lot of fun and, as we've stated before, can be super funny too. All sorts of awkward moments can arise that we don't often think about - accidents and noises and things going sideways, but the best way to deal with it and get through it, especially if it's just silly and nothing has actually gone wrong, is to laugh.

Here's a few moments you may have already come across in your sex life, or have to look forward to one day... Because trust me, they will probably all happen to you at one time or another. 

Weird Noises and Funny Faces

Bodies are gross. I mean, look, they're beautiful and unique and amazing and do incredible things sure. But they're also gross. They leak and squeak and make odd farty noises that originate nowhere near your butt. They grimace and smirk and let's not forget the uncontrollable coughing fits if you accidentally breathe in too hard and collect some spit in your lungs. The thing is ALL bodies are like this. They all do weird and wonderful things, and when we're in the throws of passionate sex and debauched playtimes, sometimes they can be even more accentuated. A small embarrassment can become a wake-in-the-middle-of-the-night-cringe for years to come, so the best thing you can do to try and minimise it is to acknowledge it (and it's silliness or awkwardness), and laugh at it, when it comes up. 

If you accidentally queef after some hard, vigorous fucking, laugh it off and know that every vagina does it once in a while, and congratulate him on his pump action skills. If you look up and see your partner's sex face, and it makes you giggle, then that's okay! Giggling is fun and adds to the fun of sex. Let them know you're not laughing AT them, but that you're laughing because its fun and you feel great.

Yes we can all get a little self conscious every now and then, but remember: If someone is having sex with you, it means they want to have sex with you, queefs and snorts, and sex face included. 

Busted!

There is nothing more embarrassing or awkward than getting walked in on when you're having sex, and, depending on who it is that busts you, the embarrassment levels can be through the roof! Your kids, depending on their age, will be far more embarassed than you will be, but getting caught pants down by your MIL doing unspeakable things to her daughter can be cause for heart palpitations and possibly missing the next few family gatherings. Being aware of your surroundings and who may possibly be around is important, as is having proper security, like a lock on the door or a sock on the doorknob signal to housemates. While you probably don't need to explain yourself to most people, making sure young children know you're not hurting each other (sex noises and the actions can, to children, look rather frightening),  and that it's just a fun game that grown ups do together is usually enough to ease little minds, but it could also be a good time to start those "talks" if the questions are a little more than a simple explanation requires. 

Too Soon Or Not Enough 

We've all been there. Moments in sex that were over a bit too soon, or never really got off the starting grid. They can be frustrating, but they really shouldn't ruin the whole experience. Erectile dysfunction can be a really common problem with penises, sometimes needing medical intervention, but quite often just needing a little time, thought, or something extra that you don't need a doctor for. Cock rings and edging practices can really help you train your body to last longer, stay harder, and ejaculate stronger, and there are all sorts of different herbal and medicinal pills that can also help sustain and maintain a nice hard cock. Similarly, vaginas can sometimes not do exactly what we want, getting dry and tight at certain times of the month or in life, as can our libidos drop a little as well as all the other distractions than can happen in day to day life. Good lubes and vaginal moisturisers can be an absolute lifesaver in those moments, as can sex toys and erotica and porn for getting us into the mood.

Coming too quickly, or taking extra time to get there can also seem a little awkward at times, but also just letting your partner know it doesn't have to be all about an orgasm as the end result can lead to some great intimate moments and exploration together. 

Oops!

Falling off the bed, cracking your knees against the table, breaking bed springs, accidental slippage... So many things can go wrong when you're balancing one body on top of another body, and so much of the sex we have should come with an occupational health and safety policy and report, but it doesn't, and bodies mostly bounce, so we deal with it, close our eyes, and hope for the best! There are reports every year about some of the awkward and weird ways we've hurt ourselves during sex and, for the most part, they're just the risk we take when we do vigorous activities, but there are some things you can definitely do to minimise the trips to hospital and the embarrassing conversations with a doctor. Always use the proper toy or product for your sex play. Anal toys MUST have a base. Avoid using food and other substances as lube or insertables. Use proper ties and restraints, and make sure they're secured properly. Stretch your muscles often, don't pretzel yourself into shapes you've not tried before, and always check in with your partner, especially if they're in a position to not check in themselves (tied or gagged for example).

Sex truly is a fun and funny activity, but as you can see it does come with some potentially awkward moments so always remember to have fun, and never forget to laugh.

3 comments

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• 

  CuriousKitty84

  More than a month ago

  Loved this! Thankyou and it happens to everyone

  Reply
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  KinkyGirl101

  More than a month ago

  My most mortifying moment was at the tender age of 17, sleeping over (read that as having sex) in my boyfriend's bedroom when his mother burst in as there was a storm and a branch has fallen off a big tree in the backyard and she wanted to check the damage. She was totally cool about it. I wanted to curl up and die.

  Reply
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  Journalista

  More than a month ago

  Excellent article…sex should be fun and filled with mirthful moments…contorted faces,grunting,is all part of it and lets face it, it can be really funny…some people take themselves way too seriously during sex. I really enjoyed reading this,
  thank you.

  Reply